I'm six weeks in, working in a new role on a new project at my place of work. We've just met our first internal deadline and plan celebratory drinks for tonight. The first part of the project fell behind schedule early on so this is a big win for the team. The bar we chose is packed, a consequence of mid-week drinks in a city with a large student population. But, we found a table in the back. There's not enough space for us all, if everyone comes but I'm told that never happens, so we aren't too concerned. Each time more people show up and we all just squeeze in a little tighter. People share chairs, sit on chair arms and eventually,
"Sophia, you're only little, surely you can perch on Teddy's knee!"
Teddy is one of the business experts for this part of the project. I've only known him for the six weeks I've been on the project, mostly through the medium of TEAMs as we are all mostly working from home, with the exception of one day a fortnight, today is only the third time we've met in person. He is sitting directly beside me, and is at the end of the bench seat on this side of the table.
"I'm not the same 8 stone, 20 year old that could get away with sitting on the knees of handsome men I barely know." I say laughing. I'm still not sure how to react to certain comments, I don't know my colleagues well enough to know what is said in jest and what is in earnest.
Teddy whispers "Did you just call me handsome?" Why did I say handsome? Teddy is bald and must be 15 years my senior. He is tall and slim and not bad looking I suppose. He's not my usual type of tall, dark haired, handsome with strong arms, nice eyes and tattooed. What a cliche, right? However, Ted is nice, he's the one business expert who remembers to check in with me; he remembers I know the new product but not their existing processes so he takes the extra time to explain the technical jargon to me.
I glance up and find his gaze locked on my face waiting for a response, quickly I look away again. Once upon a time I was a shameless flirt but I've become more shy, and embarrassed as I've gotten older. I've lost confidence in myself. Maybe a little flirting could be good for me, but I'm not convinced I remember how. I am wearing that new lingerie set I bought in the sales though, I had hoped it would give me that little boost in confidence whilst being around so many new people. I'm sure that shameless, flirty 20 year old is still in me somewhere, I just need to figure out how to re-access that part of myself, and there's no time like the present. She used to love wearing lingerie everyday, it felt sexy and made her ooze confidence.
I look back up and meet Teddy's eyes. "Seems I did, not surprised by that are you?"
"A little, but thank you." After a pause, he continued, "You know John came in a few minutes ago. Ah there he is, on his way over from the bar. We all need to squeeze in again, but I don't mind if you don't." Teddy lightly taps his leg as he finishes his sentence. I don't respond directly.
"John, squeeze in here, I'm off to the ladies." I shuffle out of my seat, then between Teddy and the table before making my way over to the ladies. Once I reach the door I turn to look back over my shoulder, John's in my seat and everyone is animatedly chatting away, except Teddy whose eyes are on me. I flash him a quick smile before disappearing.
Two minutes later, I'm on my way back and instantly Teddy's head turns toward me like he sensed my presence. I'd hoped a space might have freed up while I was gone, but I wasn't gone nearly long enough for that to happen. Regular 34 year old me was battling with the impulsivity of the 20 year old me that wanted to make a reappearance.
"Looks like you'll have to sit with me afterall." Teddy pats his knee again. There's a glint in his eye which I don't recognise, maybe it's the beers or maybe it's because I called him handsome? I sit down, perched on the edge of his right knee, not quite committed to this new seating arrangement but his arm is around me instantly pulling me closer to him.
"I won't bite, and you don't look comfortable perched all the way over there." His arm relaxes, but doesn't quite leave me. Instead it rests on top of his leg grazing the outer side of mine. I lean forward to grab my glass off the table, and feel Teddy's hand on my back. I look over at him as he mimics for me to pass him his drink too. As I do so, his hand lightly moves down the side of my back, barely making contact, then over my hip and back to its previous resting place. Except it's no longer resting as his thumb slowly and gently rubs up and down my thigh. Teddy's right side is partially hidden behind me and next to us is the partition screen between us and the next table so none of our colleagues could see his subtle caress. I, however, am hyper aware of Teddy's touch as it sends a shiver of excitement through me. It feels nice, not just physically but the thought of someone wanting to caress my leg makes me feel a little sexier than I have in a while.
The drinks keep flowing, and the crowd around us slowly dwindles. After my last trip to the bar, Teddy pulls me back into his lap before I have the chance to squeeze past him to my old and now empty seat. Teddy's attention barely left me all evening, gentle caresses on my thigh, and the occasional touch on my back but always remaining subtle and hidden from our colleagues' view. Teddy and I don't interact verbally with each other much during the evening though, instead continuing to participate in discussions with those around us. Maybe this was a subconscious way of avoiding drawing any attention to the physical contact between us. I reciprocated his touch on occasion, resting my hand on his knee under the guise of steadying myself and getting comfortable.
Soon only 4 of us remained and it was time to make plans to leave. As I commute quite a distance for these fortnightly meetings, I had a hotel booked not far from here.
"Let me walk you," Teddy offered. "You shouldn't be walking back on your own and there's a bus stop just down the street for me." Our two colleagues agreed before I had a chance to say anything, then they quickly left in the direction of the train station leaving me and Teddy alone. His arm wrapped round my shoulders.
"Don't want you getting cold now." The hotel is only a few minutes from the bar and we walk in relative silence until the hotel is in sight. "My bus isn't for another half an hour, shall we grab a drink at the hotel bar?"
"It would be rude to leave you out here on your own after you offered to walk me back. I'll just grab some water though." We head inside, grab drinks at the bar and make our way to an empty table in the corner with a low loveseat style sofa. As I go to sit down, Teddy grabs my wrist and pulls me over to him, guiding me to sit crossways on his lap.
"I quite like having you in my lap." Sitting this way meant we could talk easier than before as my back was no longer turned to him. Our interactions so far were quite confusing though, his touch was definitely flirtatious but we'd hardly spoken all night. His efforts to touch me were less subtle now, as one arm cradled my waist and his other hand sat on top of mine, his fingers gently nudging mine to allow space for them to intertwine.
Sitting here alone, with so little space between us made me realise how little I know Teddy beyond his work expertise. I'm an open book professionally and personally, and share my stories a little too freely so he had me at a disadvantage.
"Tell me more about Teddy then?" I ask.
"There's not much to tell, you know all about my job. I live 20 minutes from here. I play football on the weekends for my local team."
