As a Program Director of one of our many department, there are times that we have conventions in other cities. Well it just so happened that this year our convention was to be held in New York.
When they first approached me and told me of this trip, my nerves became fragile. I have never ridden in a plane before, and never ever went anywhere other than here. Being in these swamps and bayous, small communities, whereas everyone knows everyone else, a person is a bit protected. That suited me just fine, but now they are telling me I am not only going to fly.. but to fly to New York no less! One of the biggest cities in the country... eekkkk!!
I tell you of this adventure I am to take, that the convention is going to be for 4 days but that I will be staying there for a week, as I also tell you of my nervousness of it all. You laugh at my quaintness... since in the time that we have known each other, you have seen or rather heard a different side of me. You reassure me that I will be just fine. We also discuss the possibility of us meeting, not sure if that was to be a good idea or not… and although my body and heart was saying YES! My mind kept saying are you sure about this?
Though our conversations... and we had a few, we talked of fantasies we both have had, and although, each one of these fantasies were attainable, in one form or another, but with me being married… well that was another story. I explain to you my concerns, you laughed, and said... baby, if we meet, we won't do anything you would be uncomfortable with. I mean, we knew that if we were to meet, the inevitable was going to happen, we would wind up making love all night long. Our sexual attraction was too great for it not to happen, I knew in my heart, I wanted to feel your body against mine, to taste your delicious flavors, to hear your cries of passion, to smell your scent of lust, and to experience the feel of our juices mingling.
I had felt all that many times before, within my mind, as I thought of you while I ran my own fingers along my body, and in a way I was afraid... afraid to let myself go within your arms... knowing that you could take me to a world of beyond ecstasy, and wondering if I would ever be the same once I experienced YOU!
Our fantasies... were things I have thought of, but knew deep in my heart, that I could never be with more than one partner at a time. Knowing that within me, my heart would eventually tear me apart, we have been taught throughout our lifetimes that those things are taboo... and to ever go so for as to live it well...I knew deep down that I could not do that... again, I told you of these things, wanting you to know, that if we met. I didn't want you expecting something that I could not do. I wanted to be honest with you before hand, that, as my stories had read, all those things I could, and have done, none of that was beyond my shall I say realm of reality. That within my fantasy world, I could do anything, be anyone, but in my reality... I was just a naive southern woman that has been with her husband since I was very, very young, not to say I am innocent in anyway... just that some things are beyond my line of willingness.
I can talk about them, feel them as I fantasize about them, live them through my mind... very erotic, very seductive, but in reality, cannot go through with them. Again you reassure me... that, we would not do anything we together did not agree upon doing. My mind, eased at this, as you go on to tell me that during that week, you will be working, but that you would really like for us to see each other. Telling me that when I get into town, to email you where I will be staying, and we will see about getting together. At this point I am thinking... ok... so I have just lost him. He realizes this woman, is not all that he thought she was. As we say good night, saddened by my thoughts...
