(Author's note: 'Nieve' is the anglicised form of the name 'Niamh'. CW: manipulation, cheating (but not yet))
Chapter One
"Penny for your thoughts."
"I was thinking about my wife's butt," I said, and then turned to look at my interlocuter. "Don't tell her I said that."
"Why not?" asked Lacey, sipping her glass of wine. "I mean, you weren't thinking anything like, 'Oh, I wish it were smaller', right?"
"No I was not. But she gets embarrassed about that kind of thing."
"Her loss. Personally, I like it when a man's thinking about my butt. And what he's going to do to it later."
"What are you guys talking about?" asked my wife, sitting down between us on the couch.
"Butts, Neevee!" said Lacey, and giggled. Nieve turned to me with a pretend grimace.
"Pervs!"
"We were discussing what we should watch tonight," I said. And from there I let the two women talk it out while I drank wine. And considered my wife's butt, along with the rest of her body. Three kids and fourteen years of marriage, and she still looked hot. Even jeans and a hoodie, like she was wearing tonight, couldn't hide those curves.
"Is that okay, honey?"
"Yeah," I said, not knowing what I had agreed to watch.
It turned out to be a French film that Lacey had recommended. It was not raunchy, exactly, but it certainly did not shy away from showing the carnal side of things. Nieve grew redder and redder as the movie went on, until, in the middle of a particularly graphic scene, she quietly got up and left the room.
"Is she okay?" whispered Lacey, scootching a little nearer now that Nieve wasn't between us.
"Yeah," I said. "She just doesn't handle this sort of thing"--gesturing at the screen, where the nude woman was riding to a screaming climax--"very well."
"Just like college," giggled Lacey. "She would always leave when the girltalk got too explicit." We watched in silence a bit longer. "So she didn't run off to rub one out real quick? Needs a fast O?"
"No," I said. "I take care of that for her, thank you. In fact, that was the plan tonight, until someone invited herself over." I smiled to show her that I wasn't really upset. Lacey was good company, and she made Nieve blush, which was always charming.
"Well, what could I do? Newly divorced, at home ALL ALONE on a Friday night? I just had to call up my closest girlfriend and come over to see her. And her hot husband. Sorry for cockblocking, by the way."
"It's fine," I said. "I'm sure that things will take their course later."
"Happy wife, happy life," said Lacey. A few minutes later, when the audio was less obviously sexual, Nieve reappeared and once more inserted herself between us. She made a moue to show me that either she hadn't liked the movie, or that Lacey had gotten too close. It was cute; I grinned. She stuck out her tongue and grabbed my arm. Since this pushed her large breasts against me, I grinned more widely, holding her gaze until she reluctantly grinned back.
Nieve had never been a good drinker, and the two glasses of wine she had had meant that I drove Lacey home. We chatted inconsequentially on the drive. At her house she gave me a quick peck on the cheek and jumped out.
"Go get laid," she said over her shoulder as she unlocked the door.
"Roger wilco," I said, and drove home faster than the legal limit.
To my disappointment, however, what I found was not a cute little wife made frisky by a couple of drinks and a sexy foreign film. Instead I found her in her pajamas, asleep, breathing softly. I adjusted my pants (the drive home had been long enough for a fantasy or two) and went to clean up after movie night.
---
"How was it?"
"Fine."
"That," said Lacey, "is what someone who did not, in fact, get laid last night would say." She took a sip from her mug.
I poured myself a warmup and sat down at the kitchen table across from her. "If someone else had not needed a ride home, perhaps the party in question would not be evading inquiries."
"Sorry," she said, and it sounded like she meant it. "I was just--I was just really, really lonely, okay?"
"I get it," I said. "It's not a big deal."
"And you guys are the only friends I really have around here," she continued. "And since the d-divorce, it seems like people are avoiding me, you know?" Her lip was trembling just a little.
"Seriously, Lacey. No worries. I'm not mad, Nieve and I had a great time with you last night, don't get yourself in knots over nothing." We sat in companionable silence for a bit.
"So, what IS it like?" she burst out. I raised an eyebrow. "Being married to Nieve, I mean. Like, when we were in college and you two were dating, it was like, how long is she going to make this guy work for it?"
"When we were dating in college, and you told our dormmates, and I quote, 'That'll last three weeks'?" I asked.
"Man, how long are you going to hold onto that? It worked out fine, right? I was wrong, you guys are great, three kids and a house with a nice big yard, the whole deal, yes yes. Also, don't try to dodge the question."
"It's lovely," I said.
"Right. You guys are so gross sometimes with how... how twitterpated you can be. Taken as read. But the sex?" She was asking earnestly.
"The sex, when it happens, is also lovely."
"'When it happens'? So...."
"So maybe things are a little slow after fourteen years, Lacey." I sighed. "Maybe Nieve is not so confident about her body--which is divine--after three kids. Maybe she's not as adventurous as I might like. But the sex is still lovely."
"Huh." We drank more coffee. I needed to find my equilibrium. I hadn't meant to share that much, even with a close friend like Lacey. Was I more frustrated than I thought? Certainly finding sleep had taken me a while last night. I had even groped Nieve in her sleep to no effect. Out like a light.
"When you say, 'more adventurous'...." she trailed off, giving me an opening if I wanted to take it.
"Well. Like the occasional blowjob."
"She doesn't?"
