My second year at college, I found a wonderful organization to join; the safe walk program on campus. The office that the volunteers hang out in is very small, hardly the size of a dorm room. We'd play video games or do homework until we got a call, then two people would go out in the bright green jackets with a walkie-talkie and a flashlight to escort a student, staff member, or faculty member between buildings and parking lots on campus.
One of the other volunteers in the office was a really sweet guy that I wanted to get to know better. I had asked Kevin once if he would go out with me, but he was interested in one of the other volunteers at the time. He was always the first one to pitch in for pizza, and brought the X-box so we could play Halo. While he's usually quiet in large groups of people he doesn't know, in the office he could relax and joke with us.
This past year I was unable to attend school because I ran out of funds. I worked hard to save what I could, hoping this next year I would be able to go back. That didn't stop me from visiting my friends in the safe walk office. Not even having a crappy car stopped me; Kevin offered to give me a ride to school and back to my hometown, an hour drive either way. I wondered if he missed me as much as I missed him, or if he missed me only as much as I missed my other friends in the office.
On the early shift I got lots of hugs and "How's life?" from my other friends. Just happy to enjoy being back at school, I told the story of my summer each time someone else walked into the office. We played some video games for a while, and when the late shift rolled around, many of the volunteers went home, citing tests tomorrow and papers due later in the week.
Towards the end of the late shift, it was just me and Kevin sitting in the little office. We got to talking about how we missed each other, and we sat close on the couch together watching commercials on a cartoon channel. While I wasn't looking, he leaned in and kissed my cheek.
Startled, I turned towards him. He had a look of embarrassment and lust in his eyes. I leaned in to return the kiss, and it became a passionate embrace - right there on university furniture!
Excited by our newfound emotions, I suggested we close up the office early and head to his apartment. He mentioned that his roommate would be trying to sleep that time of night. I felt frustrated, with urges I couldn't control and no relief in sight. He continued, "It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to close up early."
Kevin got up and locked the door, turning the light off as he returned to the couch. I slowly picked up on the idea and turned off the TV. He sat back down next to me and took my chin in his hand. "I know things are hard on you, not being at school this year, but I really miss you; I can hardly concentrate some days because a memory of you haunts me while I try to study." I look up into his eyes, tears forming in my own. "I think I've fallen in love with you," he said.
He kissed me softly, and a tear rolled down my cheek as a million and one 'what if' scenarios ran through my head. Had I been able to attend school that year, would I have been closer to Kevin?
