Northern Lights

Each night, the Northern Lights play across the sky, blanking out the stars, and the days grow shorter. It's the start of winter in Greenland. My job here is new, and I'm loving it. I've been an environmental scientist for about 6 years. I grew up in a very different place; in the tropics, in Darwin, Australia, where the average daily temperature is approximately 40 degrees warmer than where I'm standing right now. But I love the cold, I can't get enough of it.

In Darwin, during the hottest time of year, I used to watch David Attenborough videos about cold climates. Antarctica - icebergs, penguins shuffling in circles in the semi-dark in sub-zero temperatures; the Arctic - a mother polar bear emerging from an ice burrow at the end of her hibernation and rolling down a mountain of snow ...'perhaps to clean her fur, or perhaps for sheer joy ...'. I hear David Attenborough's voice. I wished for even one cool breeze to fill my lungs and clear my foggy brain.

Now I'm on the other side of the world, working in a research station in Umanaaq, monitoring climate change - the impact on glaciers and the local environment more generally. My bedroom is utilitarian and the whole station is more functional than aesthetic. It's built as a bunker against the cold, which sometimes gets down to minus 20 degrees C.

Not much socialising goes on outside the station but inside there are quite lively board games in the evening. And card games. And drinking. I tend to keep to myself in the evenings, reading, writing, chatting online with friends and family. It's easy to get cabin fever in this small social environment and I don't want to get involved in other people's petty dynamics and politics.

I've left a boyfriend in Darwin. Actually now an ex. A lot of heartbreak there. It hurts to talk about it and I don't want to go into too much detail. Let's just say that it's good to be on the other side of the world. There are plenty of men on the base, but I wouldn't consider getting involved with anyone here. The risk if it all went wrong, then being stuck in the station together throughout the long winter ... nope.

Occasionally we get a visit from one of the scientists in one of the other research stations, which is always a relief from the usual crowd. Not that they are bad! It's just, you know, someone new. One particular scientist from another station has visited a few times. He's a Greenlander who went to university in Denmark, like young people tend to do here when they need to go to university. I guess he's about 30, with dark dark brown eyes. His name is Inuk - he's a Greenlandic Inuit.

"Hey Mac!" He calls me, making a nickname out of my surname. I like the relaxed way he talks to me.

"What's happening?"

He gives me his easy smile. I can't help smiling back. But before you go getting any ideas, as I said, I'm not getting involved with anyone in this small world, even if they are from another station. I'm burned, cauterised, stunted. If he's interested in me, in that way, I can't feel it. I'm Fort Mac, Greenland. Impenetrable and impervious.

To keep myself interested outside of work, I do photography. I love this wild stark environment; snow, blue glaciers, ancient rocks, and the wild grey Labrador Sea. I feel like I was born to be in this place.

I've photographed musk oxen, caribou, arctic foxes, hares, eagles, ptarmigan, lemmings and even the rare Arctic wolf. I'm good at laying low - moving slowly, keeping down wind, and waiting, sometimes for hours, to get my shot. Seeing animals in their natural environment is magic. The only species I'm not keen to meet up close is the polar bear. I don't care to be someone's dinner.

Inuk admires my photos. He loves his country too. He is a scientist but he's also a proud Greenlandic Inuit who likes to maintain the customs and skills of his forebears. He tells me about his ice-fishing and seal-hunting expeditions. Maybe I'd like to come with him some time? I'm polite but vague with my answer. Like, you know when you say "yes that would be great!" but you're just being polite - you don't intend that it will ever happen, and you won't be disappointed if it doesn't. I just don't want to get too involved with anyone.

One morning, I'm out on my snowmobile searching for a particular snow fox den I've heard about from one of the other scientists. I spot it. I lay low, praying to see this beautiful animal with its thick white coat.

I wait for half an hour and then to my delight, the black snout of a mother fox emerges from the den, followed by 3 kits. They play and tumble with each other while the mother is intent on finding something to eat. I hold my breath, stay as quiet as I can, stifling my laugh at the babies' antics. I take some beautiful photographs. My family and friends will love these - I post everything on Facebook and Instagram so the people I'm closest to can be here with me, in a way. My Mum hates it that I'm so far away.

I spend several hours laying in the snow, watching the snow foxes and snapping photographs, and some of it simply laying on my back, gazing up at the sky. I love being alone here - I feel like I'm in a place before time, where people and their things and bad boyfriends have never existed.

The light starts to dim and I realise with a start that I've probably been here too long. It won't be good to be trying to travel back to the base in the dark. I quickly pack up my gear, put it all in its padded protective bags, sling them around my neck, and mount the snowmobile. The ignition fails. The snowmobile coughs. Then it only clicks, like a car with a flat battery. Shit. This is trouble. In panic, I try the ignition again and again. Nothing works. Ok. Now I'm actually in real trouble. I'm wearing all the right gear, but not for surviving the night out in sub zero temperatures without shelter.

I try my sat phone. I call the base but no one answers. Damn it, I imagine they are playing cards, getting pissed. Is anyone wondering where I am? The downside of being a bit of a loner. Probably everyone assumes I'm in my room reading a book or checking in with my family on Facebook.

I'm getting more worried and I'm getting cold - penetrating cold despite my gear. It's minus 15 degrees C and after several hours outside I can feel the cold seeping into my clothing, or maybe the warmth being sapped out. I'm in real trouble if I'm stuck out here and nightfall is approaching. I generally have the mindset that there aren't many problems that I can't solve, and I'm struggling to comprehend that I might be facing real danger now.

Then, in the distance, I see a dog sled racing along the snow. I scream and yell and wave my arms. The snow seems to mute my voice. Please hear me, please hear me, I pray. They see me. The sled veers in my direction. I can hear the team of dogs baying joyously

I'm not a believer in the great spirit in the sky but at that moment I thank my imaginary god with all my heart.

As the sled draws nearer I can see the figure of a solo man. He pulls up, his cheeks and nose glowing from the cold and his black eyes sparkling.

Of all people, it's Inuk.

"Hey Mac!" He looks puzzled to see me. "What's happening?" He smiles at me and I feel his warmth and can't help smiling back. Gorgeous, I think, breath taken for a moment. Then I scramble to shut the feeling down.

"God, I am so glad to see you. I thought I was stuffed."

I show him the snowmobile. He tries the ignition and shakes his head.

"Battery's flat."

"Shit."

"You're lucky I came along! What were you going to do?"

"I have no idea!" I shiver.

"No way you'll be getting back to the base before dark." he squints at the horizon and looks back at me seriously."You'd better come along with me."

"Where are you going?"

"Back to my base." he says. I look at his sled. He has a large team of healthy looking dogs and it looks as though he has been ice fishing. Abandoning the wretched snowmobile, I think, my boss will kill me if I lose this machine - but the cold will kill me first if I don't go now.

Inuk clears a space for me to sit on the sled. There isn't a lot of space with all the equipment he is carrying, and with all my photographic gear. I find myself jammed right up against his back with my legs either side of his. I can feel that he is muscular and well-built under his thick clothing and it gives me a bit of a buzz. How nice to have an excuse to be crammed up against a good looking guy, I think.

He calls out to the dogs who are straining to run. We lurch suddenly so that I have to throw my arms around his waist to stay on, and we start flying across the snow with the dogs barking furiously.

"So tell me more about what do you do at the station?" he yells into the wind. I tell him about the work I am doing monitoring glacial melt and the impacts of climate change. He nods soberly. Then we don't talk anymore - it's too hard against the wind.

I wonder where his base is. There is no way we'll get back to town before dark and that's the only place I can think of apart from the research station. After about half an hour, he drags back on the dogs and yells out to them, and we come to a halt. I hadn't seen it before now, but there it is - an igloo.

"No way!" I think. "I'm going to spend the night in an igloo!" I'm stoked.

Inuk unhitches the dogs and throws them some hunks of frozen meat which they fall upon.

"Come on into my mansion" he grins. He shows me the small entrance of the igloo. I have to crawl to get in. On the inside the light is dim, but a bit of light comes through a single clear block of sea ice set in the wall.

It is cold in the igloo, probably not above zero, but it is a relief to be out of the wind. Inuk lights a small lantern and then places a pot of something on a trangia. It looks like a pot of soup, frozen solid.

"Suasaat" he tells me the name of it.

"It has seal meat. Potatoes. Lots of fat. It'll help keep you warm".

He smiles at me again. I noticed how white his teeth are against his tanned rosy face and the light of the lamp dances in his dark eyes. Unaccountably I feel myself blush. I am glad he can't see it in the dim light.

He tells me he has been ice fishing all day. He has a good catch, now frozen solid on the back of the sled. The dogs sleep outside, curled up with their thick tails over their noses to stay warm.

The soup seems to take forever to thaw and he tells me about ice fishing and seal hunting, which he likes to do during the longer days of summer. What is it about him, I find myself wondering. He is so self-possessed - quiet but not shy - ready to laugh.

And I realise that I feel something with him. It's a feeling of being safe. I'm here alone with him in his igloo, and I feel completely comfortable and safe.

He serves the soup out into two small bowls. I haven't realised until now how cold I still am. My teeth are chattering and my muscles are seizing up.

"Here, this will warm you up" he passes it over, and the flavour of fish and seal meat and potatoes fills my senses. Right at this moment, it's perfect.

I notice that on one side of the igloo is a raised dais of hard packed snow covered in furs.

"Is that your bed?" I ask. He nods.

"Don't you get cold lying on snow?" I ask.

"No. The furs keep me pretty warm. You can have the sleeping bag." he gestures.

The sleeping bag looks pretty heavy-duty and I hope it will keep me warm, lying on the icy floor of the igloo.

The lantern light flickers around the igloo. The block of clear ice set in the wall is black now. The wind howls and it's dark outside. I can't help noticing that Inuk looks beautiful in the warm light.

"The nights are getting longer now" he says out of nowhere. We've both finished our soup. "Do you like the lights?"

"They're amazing!"

"We have a legend that when the Northern Lights dance in the night sky, it means the dead are playing football with a walrus skull."

He grins and I laugh out loud.

"That's random!"

"Yep! We've got lots of random stuff. Some people still think that children will be really smart if they are conceived under the Northern Lights."

"Oh really?" I blush again, glad he can't see me well.

"Really!"

As if on cue, a greenish light starts to glow through the clear block of ice set in the wall. Oh for real, I think.

"Well I guess we better get some sleep" he says.

"Yep" I say.

All of a sudden the igloo feels very small. Awkwardly I unroll the sleeping bag and spread it out. I don't bother to take my clothes off but worm myself fully clothed into the sleeping bag like a caterpillar.

Inuk looks at me and laughs.

"What?" I say.

"You look like a fat seal!" he jokes.

"Please don't eat me while I'm asleep!" I say back jokingly but immediately blush as I think what else these words could mean.

I turn to look at him and to my shock he is stripping off his layers of warm clothing until he is standing in nothing but his lean brown skin. I almost gasp. He laughs. "Don't need clothes on when you're under the furs. Feels better this way too."

"Oh my fucking God!" a voice screeches in my head.

He stands stark naked with his back to me, having a stretch. Where do I even find the words? His body is perfect - lean and muscled, a firm butt, broad shoulders and his arm muscles ... I am such a sucker for arm muscles. I pretend I am looking at something else, but inside I am melting and fireworks are going off all over the place. He slips between the warm furs of his bed. God how good they must feel against his bare skin.

Oh my God, I'm thinking, he is there naked, just over there, under that pile of furs, literally within arms reach. I am exquisitely aware of him. How long has it been since I felt another body?

I'm slightly envious because despite being rolled inside my clothes and a sleeping bag, I can still feel the cold permeating up from the snow beneath me, stealing whatever meagre warmth my body can make. I lie there trying to will myself to be warm.

Outside, the Northern Lights undulate in the crystal clear sky. They fill the igloo with a dreamy green fluorescence. I shut my eyes and drift off temporarily, but wake up after 20 minutes shivering to my bones. He must hear me chattering away because he murmurs "Warm enough?"

"No" I say ruefully.

"Maybe you should sleep here. There's room for two." he says.

I'm thrown into a state of confusion and I'm glad there's only a dim green light cos right now I know I'm blushing like crazy again.

"Really?" I say

"Sure" he replies. "No sense in you not sleeping."

I feel confused. And awkward. And turned on and I don't know how to handle it. Is he inviting me into his bed to, you know ... or is he just being polite? Maybe it's culturally normal, you know, for Inuit men and women to sleep in the same bed and think nothing of it. Maybe he's just being a good host. I don't want to make a fool of myself and interpret things the wrong way, and I don't want to cause offence.

Maybe if I just keep my clothes on. I stand up and waddle my way out of the sleeping bag.

"Come on." he says again, and I can just catch a glimpse of what seems to be a smile on his face in the dreamy greenish light. I raise the edge of the furs, ready to slide in.

"Hey don't bring all the cold in with you!" he gestures at my clothing. "Best to go bare."

Oh. My God. OK I'm doing this. Maybe the nakedness is cultural, you know, maybe Inuit people do this all the time, just like Japanese people bath nude together in public baths. Doesn't have to mean anything. Does it?

I shuck my clothes off as fast as I can in the freezing air and slide shivering under the furs. He laughs and tucks the furs right up to my chin. "Better keep the draughts out" he says. I'm tingling being this close to him and my senses exquisitely tuned in to his smell,

and the warmth of his skin.

I lie stiff, shivering, all elbows. The furs are so soft and silky, and I can feel warmth emanating from him. I want to touch him, but what if I'm wrong. It's a long Arctic night to be feeling like a fool.

Then I feel his fingertips lightly brushing my face, leaving a silver trail over my lips and my jawline.

"You're so beautiful" he murmurs. His breath quickens and so does mine. I roll to face him and our bellies touch. He pulls me in to him gently.

"Skin to skin is the best way to get warm" he murmurs and suddenly we're kissing and I'm melting against him. He caresses my face and my back as I arch towards him, and then I'm on fire.

We kiss hungrily and passionately. I realise that this tension has been building up since we got on the sled together, and now it's exploding.

Do you want me?

I want you. I want you. I want you.

"See?" He whispers. "I told you we'd get warmer with our clothes off."

He wraps his arms around me under the soft furs. "You're so beautiful!" He whispers again.

"So are you!" I barely gasp in reply because now his fingers are caressing my breasts and gentling pulling on my nipples.

"You're gorgeous!" He whispers in my ear but I can't reply because I find myself kissing him with hunger, wetness, pure joy.

He's so much bigger and stronger than me, I could be afraid, but I am not. I know without a doubt that I am safe in these arms and against this body.

We kiss with complete abandon, breathing the same breath. The points of contact between our bodies are electrifying ... my breasts against his chest, our bellies pressed together, and his hot hardness in between us. I press myself against it and roll it with my belly. He gasps and moans with pleasure.

I burrow down under the furs and take him in my hand, feeling the taught hardness covered with exquisite velvet-soft skin, the ridges and play of his foreskin and a dewdrop at the end. I slide it around with my fingers and feel the moisture spread. What a work of God a penis is, I think admiringly.

I hold it in my hand, and kiss him again. He kisses me back, smiling with delight at what I'm doing to him. I want to make him cry out loud. I slide down his body, kissing and licking and taking soft bites. I bury my face in his chest and his dusky salty smell hits me like a drug.

I kiss down his belly and feel his hard velvety cock against my cheek. Turning my head sideways I rub the tip of him on my lips, feeling the firmness, the taut skin. I'm teasing him now, taking my time. With the tip of my tongue I circle the head of his cock and I hear him gasp. I glance up and see him with his eyes shut in ecstasy, mouth open.

I open my mouth and take him all in one swoop, as far as I can go, my hand cupping his balls and my lips wrapped close to the base of his cock. He shudders and cries out. I'd be grinning like the devil if my mouth weren't so full. I lavish long licks up and down his member, keeping my lips firm and flicking circles around the head of his cock with my tongue. Having him in my mouth gives me almost as much sensual pleasure as it gives him.

After some time I resurface from under the furs. "Oh my God, that was amazing!" He gasps, taking me in his arms and kissing me hungrily and gratefully. His hands are all over me now, my breasts, my belly, my butt, my warm crevice. His fingers linger there and I feel him jolt. "Oh my God you're so wet ..." He is losing himself, and I'm loving every bit of it, what I am doing to him and what he is doing to me.

He strokes my folds and plays with the slipperiness, shaking with anticipation ... but he still has control. He strokes my clit slowly, making small light circles while I moan with bliss. He's good at this, I note with delight. You never quite know what it's going to be like with a guy the first time - how much guidance you're going to have to give. But he's good. He knows his way around a woman's body. I relax completely and surrender to his touch.