After our brief tryst in the lounge things seemed to escalate between myself and Emma. I could no longer deny that what was happening between us was just sex, because we both knew we felt something. I do worry that perhaps those feelings are entirely based on a young, gorgeous girl being besotted with me, who makes me feel twenty years younger and has made me feel more virile than any time in my life. But then she is smart and funny too, I tell myself, and that's plenty of reason to feel something back.
It's definitely not because she's some kind of nympho.
We start to fuck anywhere we can, meet anywhere we can. Our list, already full of dangerous liaisons that could get us both into a lot of trouble, extends to include the bathroom in a pub, a changing room in a department store and a house party hosted by one of her friends. The latter was the closest we'd come to being found out, as a teacher has no right to be in attendance at these parties and certainly has no right to be vigorously fucking someone half his age on the bed of said friend's parents.
Each time we spend together, each time we have a bit more time around her empty house with our naked bodies entwined, I get closer to telling her how I feel. Or at least how I think I feel. Emma for her part hasn't said 'those three words' again and I suspect it's because she's waiting for me to say it.
I admit to myself I'm scared. If I say it then I feel it changes everything, and I know if I tell her I love her then it will be hard for my marriage to continue. Sex can be stopped, but real feelings? I cannot undo that, or at least it feels like I can't. And after all I've done, doesn't Kate deserve someone far better than me? Would it not be better to start afresh?
My family remain unsuspecting through the next few weeks of intensity, though Kate remains in a state of her own need for me. In the space of time I have been cheating we have fucked more than any other time in the last five years together. It's like the insatiable lust Emma has for me has somehow transferred to my wife, culminating in the best sex of my entire life.
I just wish I could feel less guilty about it when I'm lying awake at night unable to sleep through thinking of the mess I'm making of my life.
Despite all of my wishes being mostly met between the two genies in my life, there is one that still eludes me, and that is to spend the night with Emma. To have her sleep beside me, her slight form tight against my body as I spoon her. It's something that feels impossible to do without drawing attention to how I'm acting to Kate. To be able to do that I will need a miracle, one I don't deserve.
Yet it's one I still get.
It's a month after the time in the lounge and I'm lying in bed reading a book as Kate gets into bed wearing a pink nightie.
"I was thinking we might go down to visit my parents this weekend? The boys haven't seen them for a while, and I spoke to mum earlier and she said how much she's missed them. What do you think?"
The lie forms so quickly I don't even miss a beat. It's the chance I want, the one I've been crying out for.
"Oh hun, I can't this weekend. I've got a study group at the school that I can't miss. You go though."
God I hope I don't sound desperate. Kate's lips form a pout and she leans over to rest her hand on my bare chest, her eyes fluttering at me.
"Can't you ask someone else to cover for you?" she whispers.
"I wish I could but... I just can't. Sorry."
"I understand." she sighs, leaning back to sit on the bed and away from me. "I just hoped that we could recreate our youth. Y'know, sneaking around and being naughty together. I guess I'll just have to remind you now what you'll be missing out on."
I watch as my wife's face disappears under the cover. In a few moments her experienced hands have got me hard and I feel her take me in her mouth, making me grunt as I place a hand into her dirty blonde hair. My other hand has reached for my phone, where I quickly message 'Kevin'.
"This weekend I want you to drop whatever you're doing. You're staying round mine."
I'm lifting my hips up and growling Kate's name when the reply arrives.
"Yes! Do you need me to bring anything?"
"Just yourself and plenty of energy."
"Oh you won't be able to walk straight when I'm done with you."
I place the phone back down as I get close, lifting my hips rapidly to start fucking Kate's mouth. My thoughts are on the weekend ahead, a mental image of Emma taking my cock, when I finally pulse my cum down my wife's throat, which she swallows down dutifully.
The rest of the week passes in a blur, my anxiety for the weekend ahead building the closer it approaches. It feels monumental, like the rest of my life can go in one of two directions when this is done depending on how I get along with Emma for the day we're wrapped around one another. I know it won't be an accurate representation of, dare I say it, a life together. But it will be a much better barometer compared to fucking in a garage or a changing room.
Try as I might I can't convince Kate to leave on the Friday night to go to her parents, with her insisting she wants one more night in her own bed before she has to take the sofa when she's staying with them. I can't argue with that, and Emma is understanding enough in our correspondence. I agree that I'll pick her up early in the morning and then return when I know it's safe and the house will be ours.
When morning comes I leave after a quick shower and wish my family a pleasant weekend. The guilt I carry, always there now, weighs on me as I kiss them all goodbye because all I'm thinking about is the obscene amount of sex I'll be having for the next 24 hours and the sounds my lover will make during it all.
I pick her up where I have dropped her off previously, on the road off from the one she lives on. We share a quick kiss when she gets into the passenger side and buckles herself in, and then I quickly check her out and try to hide my disappointment in the loose flannel shirt and tight fitting jeans she's wearing.
"What?" she asks, making it clear my disappointment is fairly obvious.
"Sorry. I... just thought you'd be wearing something a little more risque. Y'know, seeing as we're spending the night together for the first time."
Emma laughs and then pats the rucksack on her lap. "You don't need to look so disappointed Matt. And you don't need to act so worried - I've got something for you."
I take an intake of breath and look at the bag, mind already wandering to what she might have in there and what we have in store for the full day we have together.
Before we can go home, and to give a large enough window for Kate to leave with the boys, I swing by the supermarket to pick up some food because I want to treat Emma to a dinner, to romance her a little.
With all our supplies bought, we drive the short way back to my now empty home in a companionable silence, my free hand resting on her upper leg and her dainty hand resting on top of mine. Those feelings bubble within me again, at the freshness of what I have with Emma.
We park up on my drive and get out of the car, my eyes scanning around the neighbourhood as I bring a young woman into my home. I cannot see anything to make me worried though as I open the door and lead Emma into what will be our little nest for the next twenty-four hours.
Emma goes upstairs to get herself settled and I take the opportunity to put the food I've bought away in the kitchen. I'm quietly whistling to myself, feeling content and excited about what's to come. Such is my preoccupation that I don't hear Emma return downstairs.
