My first instinct was to bolt, and the nearest hiding place was the bathroom. I made it in record time before either Joe or Rhiannon had time to react. I locked the door and slumped against it with a gasp.
The first knock on the door was loud and right beside my ear. I jumped a little.
"Lil-ly," Rhiannon chided through the thick door. "Come out Lil, and we'll talk about this."
My knees gave out and I slid down to sit on the floor with an unladylike thump. I could hear the low rumble of Joe's voice, but from my side of the door I couldn't understand what he was saying to her.
Another knock sounded, a little gentler than the first. "There's coffee honey, and breakfast. Please come out." I'd never heard Rhiannon sound so pleasant and it grated on my nerves.
The bathroom floor was chilly and I rewrapped myself in the blanket I was wearing so that it covered my feet. The image of Rhi and Joe kissing was emblazoned on the back of my brain and I couldn't shake the feeling that it was somehow wrong, that everything was wrong. It seemed like everything in my life had gone haywire in little less than a week. Half of me wanted to go back five days, back to Friday night with the girls, and refuse their idea of going up to the bar to talk to the handsome stranger. If I hadn't done that none of the rest of this would have happened
The other half of me though seemed to know better. It was the half that wouldn't let me forget about the startling green of Adam's eyes, or the way his kisses made the hair stand up on the back of my neck, or just how nice it had been to go home to the farm for dinner, or even how passionate a kiss I'd interrupted between Joe and Rhiannon; I hadn't expected that of my big brother. I seriously doubt he ever kissed Charlene McMillan like that.
My sigh was loud and echoed in the empty, cold bathroom. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the low murmur of voices from the kitchen. Rhi must have moved away from the door because only the deep timbre of Joe's voice penetrated into the bathroom, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. It didn't seem long before I heard the front door open and close.
I quickly tiptoed to the window that looked down over the driveway. Rhiannon's car was parked there, behind mine; I hadn't noticed it the night before in the dark. Joe opened the car door for her, and hungrily watched her fold her long legs inside the car before he leaned down to give her a lingering kiss. From my vantage point I could see the contented smiles on both their faces and jealousy stabbed through me painfully. Just why the hell did life seem to be so simple for them?
Joe stood there in his boxers and t-shirt and watched Rhi pull away. He gave a long whistle of satisfaction before rounding the corner of the building to come back upstairs. I could hear him taking the stairs two at a time and his good mood must have evaporated with the climb because he banged aggressively on the bathroom door.
"Get the hell out of there, Lilly. Now."
I wrapped myself up tighter in the afghan and tested out an expression of hurt and betrayal on my reflection in the mirror over the sink. It took a few tries before I found the right combination.
"I'm telling you Lilly - open the damn door or I'll break it down. We need to talk."
I reached for the doorknob at about the same time as Joe began knocking again and when I jerked open the door I think I caught him by surprise. He pasted on a scowl and pointed at one of the chairs at my kitchen table. "Sit."
I moved past him as gracefully as possible while wrapped in miles of blanket and settled myself with my chin held high. To be honest I wasn't really sure what it was I felt about Joe and Rhiannon. The whole thing was just too surreal. Was I mad? Upset? Betrayed? Both of them were adults and both meant a great deal to me. I should be happy for them, shouldn't I?
They'd known each other distantly through me for almost a decade. Back in university, I'd brought Rhiannon home to the farm for holidays and long weekends when she couldn't make it home to her Dad's in Halifax and didn't want to be left in the dorm alone. After he passed away a few years ago, she still attended the occasional Tanner family function since even Rhi wouldn't willingly choose to spend Christmas alone. I suppose if she bumped into Joe in the grocery store or at the bank they'd exchange a few pleasantries like acquaintances should, but I never would have guessed that something like this could exist between them. As far as I knew, man-hungry Rhiannon had never looked at Joe twice. Maybe she'd slept with every other available man on the Island and was simply going to sleep with all my brothers in chronological order before she started in on the married men and the clergy.
Joe brought the coffee pot, the sugar bowl, the cream, and two mugs to the table and poured us each a cup of coffee before he sat himself across from me.
"Drink it," he muttered. "If you've got half the headache I do this morning, you'll be thankful for it. I don't know what they put in that rye at Mac's, but it's deadly."
I tried not to smile. I was feeling a bit hung-over, but would never admit it. The coffee did smell incredibly good though, so I fixed it with plenty of sugar and a dollop of cream and settled back to hear what Joe had to say for himself.
He must have known I was waiting for an explanation because he quickly morphed from angry to sheepish, to almost contrite.
"I guess Rhi was driving by last night and saw all the lights on in the apartment, so she decided to stop. She'd already tried to call a few times, but of course I wasn't going to answer your phone."
My big brother fiddled with his mug of coffee, rolling it back and forth between his large hands. I watched him and kept quiet.
"She certainly wasn't expecting me. She thought you were home from your date and she wanted to know how things went with your Adam fellow. Well, I invited her in and we got to talkin'—" Joe looked up at me and actually had the audacity to blush.
"Look Lilly, I'm not going to apologize for what we did. I don't figure either Rhiannon or I should. Maybe the timing wasn't right and for that I guess I am a little sorry, but we haven't done anything wrong by each other or by you. We're grown-ups and we don't need your permission."
Something about the speech seemed a little rehearsed and I wondered how late the two of them had lain awake last night and gone over what they were going to say to me. I guess I should have been thankful that they didn't decide to hide it from me, to protect me from it. I should have been glad for that, but for what seemed like the millionth time in less than a week I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything at all.
"Are you mad?" Joe asked, sounding very much like a little boy who'd been caught sneaking cookies from the jar.
I shook my head. "No," I said when I finally could get my tongue to form words. "I'm not mad. I'm not... anything. I'm just... numb."
Joe laughed. "You and me both, Lilly. I've always dreamt but—" he shrugged his wide shoulders as if trying to dismiss the blush which crept back into his face. For a moment I thought he might say something else, but he just sort of let the silence hang there between us.
At that moment, I wished I was better at snappy comebacks, but I couldn't seem to find one. I reached for my purse and fished out the keys to Joe's truck and passed them to him. He eyed me warily as I stood.
