I was at No Exit--this Goth club down in the Meatpacking District-- trying to blend in, as usual, but standing out like the dork I was. The place was dark, the walls painted a flat black, and the only light came from a couple of strobes that reflected off the metal cages. Half of the people there were trying to look like vampires, with dead white skin, and the other half was trying to look poetically suicidal. The DJ was playing London After Midnight at a decibel level too high to calibrate, and the wall at the back was covered with people either chained to the wall or getting off against it.
Ideally, the Goth look is thin bordering on anorexic, which I never seemed to manage with my binges of Big Macs and Cheese Doodles. I wouldn't exactly say I was fat, but my mom called me sturdy, and that's when she was trying to make me feel good. Hey, at least I never cut my arms. Okay, once--but that was an accident.
I was moving through the crowd, trying to look like I had a destination in mind and not so much like I was alone. I had found a tattered black top at a shop on St. Mark's that I thought looked hot if you didn't see the rest of my body, which you really couldn't get a good look at with people jammed in the way they were. The top had rips in it and an uneven hem, and there was one strategic hole that I had enlarged with a scissors, cutting away enough of the gauzy black fabric to reveal my right nipple and that brown area surrounding it. I had gotten my nipple pierced a few weeks before and now, with the silver ring through it, I thought maybe I'd finally attract some guy. The thing was, half the chicks in the place had their tits uncovered, with an "Oh, look--I forgot my clothes" attitude, so it wasn't like I was a novelty. Still, you go with what you've got.
Damn, I wanted to get laid. Some girls had to be gorked on X to do it, and here I was, up for it, and no one even seemed to give a shit. I was so fuckin' sick of being a virgin I could scream. Okay, so technically I wasn't a virgin, but the one time I did it I was blitzed and couldn't remember it afterwards. That shouldn't count; you should at least be able to remember it.
Then I saw him.
Omigod, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He was like the most beautiful man I'd ever seen; not even Gerard Way came close. There was a bunch of kids surrounding him, but he stood a head taller than the rest of them and so I could clearly see his face. His skin was rice paper white, of course, and his eyes were totally black and surrounded by thick eyeliner. There wasn't even a pinpoint of light reflected in them. His black hair flowed over his shoulders and halfway down his back. His nose cut his face like a blade and his black mouth looked both cruel and sensuous. I wanted to write very corny song lyrics about him and scrawl his name all over my notebook. I was besotted at first sight.
I just stood there, my finger flicking the ring on my nipple back and forth, my eyes glued to his eyes, willing him to look at me. Some guy—at least I figured it was a guy--moved in behind me and put his hand up my short skirt and began to finger my private bits. Yeah, I was commando; I came prepared that night. The finger-fucking felt good, really good, but all it did was make me concentrate even harder on the guy ahead of me.
"Look at me, look at me, look at me," I whispered, barely moving my lips, any sound drowned out by the sudden onslaught of Christian Death. It felt like three fingers were inside me now, plus something was being batted against my ass, something that felt very much like a rubbery hotdog. It felt nice, so I decided I didn't want to know what it was. I was getting really wet but I was sure it was more from staring at that wickedly-delicious face than it was from the loser who was feeling me up. Anyway, I didn't want some guy's fingers in me; I wanted the god's mighty cock filling up my cunt. I vowed that if I could have him just once I'd give up Cheese Doodles forever. Like New Years' resolutions and Lenten vows, though, I knew I'd never keep that promise.
And then it happened. He turned his head slightly and saw me staring at him and his eyes seemed to lock onto mine. And as the stare lengthened, I could feel the guy behind me let loose with his gunk all over my ass, immediately followed by wet stuff sliding down my thighs. I ignored it. With just the slightest motion of my dark hero's body, a path opened up between him and me and within seconds he was standing in front of me and I had my head tilted back to look up at him. People moved away from us, giving us space. I swear to god it felt like I was dreaming.
His eyes moved over me slowly, as though memorizing my dimensions. I tried to stand up taller and hold my stomach in, but there was too much to hold in. At least I knew black made me look thinner, but my chubby legs could be seen clearly now beneath my short skirt. I was sure he could see the look of adoration in my eyes.
His eyes met mine again and the corners of his mouth turned up. "You're a juicy little one, aren't you?" he asked.
Omigod, no one had ever called me juicy.
He reached out and moved my hand off my breast and pulled a little at my nipple ring. I thought I would die from the pleasure. That piercing suddenly became the best investment I'd ever made. He pushed back the hair that was falling over my left eye, the result of a disastrous haircut that looked Emo-ish to me and for which I'd cursed out the guy at Cheap Cuts, right after bursting into tears.
"Come along, Little One, and let's play," he said to me in a low, seductive voice.
He took me by the hand and led me to an empty space against the wall between two subs who were chained to it. Oh, shit, I was thinking, it's not going to work. I'm too fuckin' short.
He placed me in front of him, slid a little down the wall so that his knees were bent, and then lifted me so that I was balancing at the top of his thighs--his very strong, very muscular thighs that I glimpsed through his fishnets. His lips were at the top of my head, kissing my hair, as his hand expertly lifted his tunic, revealing his crotchless tights as well as the fact that he was also commando, in addition to being fully erect. He placed his cock at the entrance to my cunt and then pulled my ass so hard against him that it entered me in one smooth swoop, reaching all the way to the end of my insides and hitting up against something that seemed to ignite at his touch. I found I had been holding my breath and let it out with a huge sigh that made him chuckle.
I couldn't stop staring at him. He was every bit as perfect up close. I watched his eyes and they never left me, never glanced around the club, never looked to see if anyone was watching us. I couldn't see any pupils; the entire eye was black, and yet they seemed to have depth. I felt like I was hallucinating, that this perfect man couldn't possibly have chosen me to fuck, not in a club that had of so many better-looking girls, thinner girls, girls with bigger tits. This kind of thing didn't happen in real life. Not to me, anyway.
