"You just like her because she's mousy." my friend Erin in IT said while we ate lunch. "I don't think she's attractive at all."
I laughed, "I mean, I do dig the pouty lips and fake innocence..."
Erin laughed, "Pouty? Ugh she's a straight up bitch. I can't see why you can't see that."
Erin wasn't wrong. Jess was insufferable. We had been talking about the new secretary all lunch time. Jess had just started last week and had alienated the entire IT department, sales and advertising.
As I chewed a pepper in my salad, I considered what I did see in her. She was 26 with long blonde highlighted hair and always had her makeup on point. Her body was petite and tanned. "I just get a deeper vibe from her. I don't know. I guess it's hard to explain. Like she's toxic, but just a few years ago she glowed up." I said.
Erin rolled her eyes, "oh God, already stalked her online? Let me guess, sweet and innocent looking before she learned how to dress and show skin?"
I laughed, "Well, sort of... I don't know..." it was true, the girl in her posts didn't have highlights or tanned skin. She had glasses and her hair had split ends. Now, all her posts were model shots with a frown or duck face.
Erin rolled her eyes again, "so she glowed up to become a bitch and a slut. That's not something positive."
The phone paging system sounded. "Christopher, please call the front desk." then an audible slam of the phone on the other end. I was Jess
"speak of the devil! Your princess, Christopher" said Erin as she she put a heavy emphasis on Christopher, knowing saying my full name annoyed me.
It wasn't even the end of lunch, so I ignored it. And then another page "attention, Christopher, call the front desk. C-h-r-i-s-t-o-p-h-e-r." she spelled it out and let out an exasperated sound before she slammed the phone down.
"what the fuck, Jesus..." I picked up the phone and dialed.
Jess answered in an uninterested tone, "Yeah so I have a client that keeps calling and I'm not dealing with this. It's not my job to keep taking messages. Ugh."
Erin laughed next to me. But i answered, "you are the receptionist, that is literally your job."
"shush," she said, "I sent them to your voice mail. Have fun." and she hung up.
"shush?" I said. "oh my God. What the actual fuck."
Erin laughed again. She's going to set a record for HR complaints. But at least she's cute and mousy! "
"She's considerably less cute than 5 minutes ago. "
I walked back to my desk near the front. In our marketing company, I was in creative and worked on a few accounts. I listened to my voice mails and the client Jess had called about had indeed called.
"hi Chris, I called earlier just to leave a message but that new secretary hung up on me. Twice. I'm not sure what's up with that. Anyways, no emergency, just checking on some TV spots. Call me back."
I was exasperated. I came out to the front desk after calling back. Jess was flipping through her phone with a bored look on her face. Her long nails tapped the screen.
"Jess," I said with no filter, "I just got off the phone with AXT insurance and they said you hung up on them... Twice."
She didn't even look up, "Shush, he was annoying me." she tossed her hair and chewed on her gum. "I don't get why you're mad at me, Christopher."
"it's Chris, I told you I don't like Christopher. Please don't do that to customers anymore. They keep the lights on here."
She rolled her eyes and went back to her phone. "whatever, OK Chris." her over emphasis on the "Chris" was obnoxious.
But, watching her long nails tap her phone also intrigued me. Ugh how I wish I could just hate her. She was so useless and I had just spent valuable time apologizing to a client. Because of her. But I kept going back to her profile Pic. The one just 2 years ago with a French braid and laughing eyes. Her makeup was minimal and she was holding her son, as he looked up at her.
I spoke up, "next time I'll send the complaint on to Jack in management. I'm serious, I'm not going to spend time apologizing for you being rude."
She laughed at something on her phone and then reapplied her lipstick. Then took a selfie catching the light from the lobby. I walked away back to my office more pissed than before.
I sat in my office and then pulled up her profile on my phone. It was infuriating to see the pic of her duck lips from 5 minutes ago when I was trying to talk to her. But something... Ugh I hated it. Those lips in the pic drove me nuts. I scanned through her recent ones. One out at a winery with that same monotone look. Her lips were apart and her head looked out at the background. I knew it was just posing. She was trying to look a certain way, project success. She had another Pic in high heels showing her long skinny tanned legs getting out of a black Mercedes. Another with a bottle of Ciroc and club lights all around as she looked up at the camera showing the contours of her chest.
Everything about her made me angry and hard at the same time. Her pouty lips, that flat non smile, her highlights, her... Fakeness. I couldn't explain it. I just wanted to... I didn't know. She was petulant and intriguing all at the same time. Locked my door and jerked off to her pics. Angry at myself and intoxicated with her.
The rest of the week was much the same. I'm not even sure how she continued to have a job. I wasn't the only person she was pissing off. And she couldn't play the pouty card with others. She left every day in her Uber, always the XL, a Mercedes or Lexus. Every day she came in with her fake lashes and fresh from salon hair.
Friday was the night I went out with Erin and a few work friends for drinks. All single and all in our late 20s, we treated ourselves on Friday after the chaos of marketing.
