There have been those nights when everything is just right - the mess of clothing gathered from the rail naturally going well together, and just hanging so perfectly-right for that particular mood of the moment. Those days always swept me along as if for the ride, starting with looking casually at the mirror on the way out - seeing myself stood there, edgy enough to stand apart, ensuring that I'd be an instant focus, or at least the most interesting visible-stock in any bar. It's no boast, but interesting gets the conversation going better in certain places - so Byronesque in black with a short-clipped Mohawk, definitely qualify in that respect – and on those nights, I have generally walked back out into the night, with company to share more than some conversation with.
Other days of course, just didn't gel at all, not because I was trying so hard that it was painful for others to watch – but simply that the ladies weren't ready to bite just then, or take the morsel dangling there casually before them.
Nor do I pretend to understand all the terms of attraction – I value my sanity too much, and so carry on in my own way - sometimes being lucky, sometimes not. But having said that, the illogical exceptions do hold a fascination for me…I mean those times when you just walk right into a kiss, one that comes at you from out of the sun, unseen, unexpected, and unbelievable.
The most memorable had been three days before my last move to another city – on a six month placement – and perhaps that said it all really, regarding the why of how it all happened.
As is traditional, several of my friends, acquaintances, and various peripheries all agreed to gather that night in our favorite meeting spot, Mac's Cool Bar, having decided to share a few good beers in even better company – it was just an adieu, after all. We had the expected good time, ending innocently enough with three of us, then just two; myself and an absolutely stunning lady I'd met several weeks, (and four days, three hours and twelve minutes, or so) before.
She wanted to call into the local wine-bar for a final coffee – and even though it was apparent by then that nothing further was going to happen between us, I agreed. Odd that, I remember thinking at the time - an offer of coffee without meaning something else other than coffee, but having had a few beers, I decided not to say anything stupidly smart. It was no problem, we'd all had a good night together anyway, so I was happy to simply extend the evening and its conversation.
A little later, I got the warning pangs of a bad headache stalking me – a sure sign of fatigue – so with regret and a bit of melodrama, I explained about the headache, and bade the new mixture of company a very good conclusion to the evening; feeling in my bones that by leaving her behind, one of them would get just that - no more than he hoped, but way more than he probably expected.
‘Wait a minute, and I'll walk as far as my car with you.' Her words were unexpected, and that huskiness caught me every time I heard it, giving me a tightening twinge where it's nice.
I smiled a little wanly, looking as pale as I felt: ‘Thanks, but you stay – have fun in my absence - drink a toast to the bravely fallen hero.' Despite my misgivings for leaving her in the present company, and what my feelings said about where that would lead, I didn't want to be responsible for dragging her away from that chance – even if it meant depriving myself of her company for a few more minutes. ‘We could do the coffee thing tomorrow or Monday though.'
‘It's no problem, I really have to be going too – so I might as well leave and walk with you.'
Subjective seconds later, we were both outside, her showing nursely concern for my condition as we strolled gently up the late-night street, still thronged and at full-bore with a scattered flow of crowds heading out clubbing, or off for a few cans more at an impromptu party.
Making the three minute walk in ten, we arrived at her car – denoted as hers by a proud pat on the roof as she turned back to face me: ‘Here we are, and here's my baby. Thanks for a beautiful evening by the way – and it's certainly a lovely bar - I'll have to go in there again to keep your seat safe and warm against your return.'
I smiled quirkily, keeping my hands in my coat pockets by force of will: ‘Thanks to you in turn for showing up - y'know, I didn't really expect it.' I smiled again.
‘How could I not come, after you asked me. It was a warm welcoming to the group, in a strange sort of way. It made me feel a part of it all for the first time since I started coming.'