Sometimes it feels nice to go to a party where all people are your friends and you can feel secure. Sometimes it simply feels boring. Same old.
Charlotte returned home from Italy where she had spent the last year of her life chasing her dream job. She threw this big party to see her friends again, friends from the neighborhood and ex-co-workers, ex-boyfriends and lots of best girlfriends.
Dylan wasn't sure he wanted to be there. Being a longtime friend he decided to go and hide in a corner with a double whiskey.
The party was already at its peak when Charlotte spotted Dylan.
"Hey, Dylan dear, I'm so excited to see you!"
She took his hand and led him to another crowded corner.
"You are still a heartbreaker? They are all here Dyl, do you remember...." And she started saying names and pointing to faces he vaguely remembered.
As discreetly as he could, he slipped away after a while.
Out of the door, where the breeze was strong and the cigarette smell stronger, he took a deep breath.
A honey brown head with a cute little nose outline was sitting on the pavement, in front of him, gazing somewhere distant.
"Sienna?" His deep, melting voice shook her. She half turned her head, "Dylan?" She said back in a low, suddenly restrained voice.
"It's been what? Two years."
Dylan was five years older than her and the boyfriend of her best friend's sister at the time. The one and only Dylan, who was a mystery and the secret lust of every girl back then. Sienna was the youngest at seventeen and she was allowed to hang out with the older girls only because she didn't interfere or reveal their secrets to their moms. Dylan, at twenty two then, wasn't tall or super athletic but had a reputation of the arrogant, difficult guy, the one that never ever fell for any girl. He was clever with a dark gaze, although his eyes were a deep blue. Smoking and looking past anyone, he had this air of aloofness that drove the girls crazy.
Sienna was always at a corner reading her books or browsing with her phone. Her hair then was at shoulder length, its natural dark honey color and her eyes were a muted green.
She took a glance at him as soon as she heard his voice. The deepest and coldest and warmest of voices.
He happened to look at her at the same time. A beautiful, innocent and sassy face that made him instantly feel troubled. He felt his chest ache for a second, but kept on smoking and forced himself to focus on the other girls in the room.
As much as he was the object of lust for the girls, he had less girlfriends than he could have. All of them were left brokenhearted, all of them believing they could make him love them. He wasn't cruel and he wasn't kind. All the ex-girlfriends stated that he wasn't expressive or sweet talking not even in their private moments. He didn't even kiss them as much but he was surprisingly good when the door closed. A walking male enigma.
Sienna could have been his female match. Not expressive, difficult to please. She had friends all the geeks and all the guys no one else wanted. She didn't seem to be in emotional need of a boy. Not a boyfriend yet. She was really disturbed that this Dylan guy made her turn her head and made her mentally replay his smoking and laid back manners all day.
They met three or four times again. There was always the same underlying tension, only acknowledged by them. Dylan was equally disturbed each passing time. He felt a weakness for this little girl, a weakness he hated to feel.
This crazy night, half a year later, when Sienna had had her eighteenth birthday, Dylan was bored at another yet party and spotted Sienna in a corner trying to light a cigarette.
With wide strides we went over and grabbed the cigarette smashing it in his hands and then grabbed her by the neck forcefully and dragged her out of the room. "Never try this out again! You are so young and naïve to act as a grown-up," he said in his wonderful voice.
Sienna tried to stay mad at him, "You can't possibly tell me that when you yourself...."
But he stopped her with a lowered voice, "Don't fuck up your life if someone else does."
She remained speechless. She felt a caring in his words. She was left looking right into his eyes. "Damn," he whispered and took her head with all his might in his hands and kissed her hard.
He sensed she didn't know how to handle it, having never been kissed before. He felt this ache again, tearing his chest. When she responded and kissed him back he felt this ache grow. Fuck. This was trouble. He made a mess of her hair and lost himself in the kiss. His breath was quick and short.
"Baby girl, let me take you home or I won't stop," he whispered without thinking, for the first time. She was startled with the break of the kiss. She shook her head 'no' and put her hands around his neck. "No," she said with a voice she didn't recognize.
She knew that all in her mind had always been black or white. When she kept reliving his voice, she knew she was in love way too much and that she wouldn't want anyone else. So, no. He had to go on.
This was indeed crazy but he couldn't control himself like he was proud he could always do.
He hugged her from her waist and held her tight to his side as they half walked and half ran to his place, just a couple of blocks away. He had been at the party with a girl which was now long forgotten.
He unlocked the door and, once inside, he kissed her with all the novelty of his feelings. He paused for just a moment to look at her, to find reassurance. He did. She had a serious face, a mixture of long known friend and a growing woman, a young vulnerable girl and a strong person. Again he felt that aching in his chest.
He took their clothes off before he could change his mind and let logic take control. God, she was beautiful, shy but brave. He kept talking to her, talking for the first time this way and when he wasn't whispering, he was breathing in her ear.
"Baby girl, you are mine, you know that? .... Are you sure you want this baby? Oh, stay still, I wanna feel you more.... Please don't cry.... Yeah I know, I know baby, it won't hurt soon.... Soon, sweetheart.... Stay with me please.... Oh God, you are so sweet.... Sweet Sienna...."
When they both calmed their breaths, without a single word Sienna kissed him shyly on his cheek and Dylan, well strong, coldhearted Dylan, whispered in her ear "You're mine now Sienna."
Half an hour later, he took over his new found feelings and got her up, "Com' on, I've got to take you home". Without 'baby' in his sentence. She obeyed without a word.
That Dylan was standing in front of her right now. Two years later. The Dylan she hadn't seen in a year and right after that crazy night, he had acted like nothing happened. The Dylan that she had to bear all the stories about him and his girlfriends. She never said a word or even implied anything. Their secret was perfectly kept, although she was screaming inside that he abandoned her. That Dylan, she could never know how grateful he was for her discretion, keeping all his words for herself, buried in the feelings of that night.
That Dylan.
