G A I L
As I nervously drove to the hotel, I searched my memories and tried to remember when this first started. I think it was a progression of a thousand things over a very long period. All in all, I considered Mike and I had a pretty good marriage. We didn't have a perfect relationship, but who does? I think (like many couples) we slowly became trapped in a relationship where intimacy was placed on the back burner for more important responsibilities. Now with the kids gone to college, neither one of us had an idea about what to do with our free time in our empty nest. The greater part of our life together had been about parenting and business pursuits. Suddenly, we seemingly had a wide-open agenda. Our plans of travel never materialized, although the brochures were still stacked on the coffee table.
Out of the need to feel productive, I became involved in charity work for a while, but the politics involved were maddening. Being an angry protester wasn't my life mission. Mike, on the other hand, was content being a homebody, doing house projects and working in the yard.
My husband was always my best friend and partner in life, but the passion that once defined us in our youth was nothing more than a fond memory now. The reality was that the last several years had taken a toll on us. We had become a child-centered home. I knew something needed to change, but the question in my mind was... was it too late?
Where we struggled in one area of our marriage, we were wildly successful in another. Our three incredible daughters were testimony to that. They all excelled in school, as well as in life. Our oldest daughter, Becky, was beginning her master's in microbiology, while Jenna and Anne were working on their undergraduate degrees. Each of our daughters were beautiful and intelligent, but if I saw a weakness in them, it was their boyfriend problems. It took time getting used to the fact that we had three very sexually active young women.
With our plan of financial independence now realized, I always thought economic freedom would allow us to reestablish some of the closeness we'd sacrificed for the family. One thing was clear: there seemed to be no easy solution to regaining our intimacy. Oh, we still went through the motions, but I couldn't remember the last time I was actually rocked by an orgasm—that is, without the assistance of a toy.
Our diminishing love life wasn't because I didn't find Mike attractive or that he'd let himself go, like so many of my friends' husbands had done. We always enjoyed exercising together. Mike lifted weights daily, which made him appear much younger and muscular than his forty-eight years. I was proud my husband cared so much about his health and appearance.
As for me, my daily aerobics and yoga workout helped me maintain my weight and muscle tone. Even though I'd had three kids in five years, there were no visible stretch marks or cellulite on me, and my boobs were still pert enough to attract attention. Despite being in my mid-forties, men would often flirt with me. I had never been tempted because I took my marriage vows seriously. However, don't all women like to be complimented?
About six months ago, something happened that profoundly changed my life. My identical twin, Penny and I regularly went shopping at the mall on Saturdays while our husbands went golfing. When I say, "identical twin," I mean exact replicas of each other. We maintained the same hairstyles and usually wore the same outfits. It was fun seeing people's reactions. The only noticeable difference between us was that I was a cup size bigger than Penny, but that's because I'd had three children and she was childless.
I remember one day, after finishing a couple hours of window shopping, we stopped for lunch at this little Italian bistro in the mall. I could tell something was on Penny's mind, given the way she was fidgeting in her chair. I noticed she was acting nervous all day, so I asked, "Penny, what's bothering you?"
"What makes you think something is bothering me?" she replied without making eye contact.
I lifted her chin, looked in her eyes and said, "Come on, spit it out."
She still wouldn't answer, so we ate our salads in virtual silence. I knew she couldn't keep anything from me for long.
Finally, she said, "I need to tell you something about Andy and me... but it's a secret."
"Oh my God! You're not getting a divorce, are you?"
"Heavens, no! We're not splitting up, but there's something I need to tell you and you must promise not to tell anyone."
"Pinky promise. My lips are sealed." I motioned as if I was zipping my lips shut.
Then, Penny dropped a bomb on me. She blurted out, "Andy and I have decided to open up our marriage."
It took me a while to process what she'd just said.
"Are you telling me that you're seeing other men outside your marriage?"
She grinned and replied in a low voice, "I'm not just seeing them... I'm doing a lot more, if you know what I mean..."
"Oh my God! You've got to be kidding me! You're cheating on Andy? Are you nuts?"
She laughed at me and said, "Sis, you're thinking way too provincially. It's just sex, not cheating! Andy knows everything. In fact, this was actually his idea. He fantasized about it for years and I eventually agreed to try it for real."
"No way!" I stared at her in disbelief, not knowing how to respond.
She saw my reaction and added, "Since we decided to do this, our love life has been better than ever. It's a win-win situation."
I looked at her, dumbfounded. "I think you're crazy! You're both crazy!"
"Gail, this is a growing lifestyle. You honestly don't know what you're missing. Come on, you can't tell me you never think about being with other men?"
"Never!" I lied. Then, out of pure curiosity, I asked, "How does it work?"
"You're the one with three kids, you should know how it works. You see, there are a boy and a girl, and—"
"Not sex, smart-ass! I mean, how do you meet these men? Do you take them home or go to a hotel? Does Andy go with you? Or do you meet these strangers on your own?"
"So many questions for a girl who says she's not interested," Penny giggled, "so far, I've only done it twice. The first time was with a guy from out of town I'd met online. We exchanged pics and I met up with him at the Carlton Hotel bar. We had some drinks and conversation before going back to his room. Andy waited at home for my call."
"So... Andy just left you alone with a stranger?"
"Yep. We agreed that my first time I should go solo."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How could he allow her to go alone? What if the guy was a complete psycho? She could have been killed!
"... I had a fantastic time!" Penny kept talking while I swallowed my anger. "He was younger than me, though—around thirty-five and very muscular, hung like a..." She held her hands about a foot apart.
I rolled my eyes and said, "That's more than I needed to know."
She giggled and continued to recount her sexual adventure. "Once we were naked, all my apprehensions were gone. I lost track of my orgasms. It was great sex, but only sex—and lots of it."
"Where was Andy during all this time?"
"Like I said, he was home waiting for my call. I texted him and let him know that I was safe and would be out longer than planned."
I kept tapping my nails on the table, beyond irritated.
Penny sighed. "Just say it."
"Say what?" I tried to control my temper.
"You're doing that annoying tapping thing you do when you're about to explode. Just say it!"
"I have nothing to say, Penny. You're a grown woman."
She rolled her eyes and exhaled deeply. "I'd rather you tell me what's got you so upset instead of being all passive-aggressive."
"Passive aggressive? Okay, sweetheart. Here goes... You're dumb as a doorknob, and your husband's even dumber!"
My sister's eyes widened in shock while I shook with anger.
"Both of you are stupid! Do you even realize the potential danger you could have been in?"
"What the hell is your problem, Gail? I told you that I had texted Andy that I was safe!"
"That asshole could have murdered you and easily sent a text to your husband, impersonating you! I can't believe you both would even agree to text each other in a situation like that! If I were Andy, I would be worried sick! He clearly doesn't love you enough to be concerned about your safety!"
"Calm down! You're overreacting!"
"I am not, and you know it! You're both insane! There are so many things that could have gone wrong. You could have been hurt or even killed!"
