An original work of fiction. Please do not reproduce without permission.
It's been - what -- 10 months that we've been working together? That's close to a year of showing up for boring meetings, working on joint projects our two departments run and, much more pleasurably, occasionally hanging out socially. I wonder how many hours we've spent in each other's company?
I've always felt relaxed around you, never had to worry about you suddenly making a move on me. You know I'm in a relationship with someone else and respect those boundaries. That's not usual you know. I'm so tired of guys hitting on me even when they know about my boyfriend. So there's been no real tension on my part, we really are just colleagues, just friends.
Of course I've known all along that your interest in me has always been there. No matter how much a man tries to hide his attraction to me, I can always tell. I see it in the way you greet me every morning with genuine pleasure. It's there in how you mumble a joke under your breath to me when we're both unwilling participants in a particularly tedious meeting.
And isn't it surprising (not!) that in those meetings your chair somehow always ends up positioned next to mine? It's been fun sharing a coffee break here and there, or happening on you at lunchtime in the cafeteria, and just talking, laughing, not feeling uncomfortable when we both fall silent for a while.
Of course I remember that time last Christmas when the whole department went out for a drink after work and you found me in a quiet spot in the bar? You were clearly pretty high but I still recall what you said.
"I just want you to know that I think you're really fantastic and I hope your boyfriend knows what an incredibly lucky guy he is. If you ever do find yourself unattached you only have to call."
It could have come across as you ignoring those unofficial boundaries we have but it didn't feel that way. I took it just as a genuine appreciation of me. You've probably forgotten you ever said it but I haven't. And lately your words have been more and more on my mind.
Over the months we've become pretty good friends. I like how you check in at work to tell me you're going to get coffee and would I like some too? I like the way you ask me how I'm doing each day and somehow it doesn't sound formulaic; you always seem to be genuinely interested in my response. And sometimes after work we've even taken in new movies that we both wanted to see -- always with no pressure from you - and then gone for a quick drink afterwards to talk about the film.
But I love the most how you make me laugh. You're quick and witty and you get a kick out of seeing that I'm genuinely amused. You hear me laugh at something you say and immediately declare "my work is done here" before ambling back to your desk. It's nice to know I have someone dedicated to making me laugh, someone who wants me to feel good about my day, who expects nothing in return. I feel very seen, very appreciated.
And I know that behind all the banter, jokes and chats there's always that faint longing for me. It's like I can feel it coming off your body. It's nothing you ever say, and nothing you ever do, at least in any explicit way. But there's something behind your eyes, something in the intensity of your focus on me that tells me you've not lost the pull of the physical attraction I know you have for me.
I remember so clearly when you walked into our offices for the first time. You turned your head to meet me and I saw your eyes momentarily widen. A slight flush come into your cheeks. That faint huskiness in your voice when you said 'hello' was a big tell. You were struggling to keep your reaction hidden from and I'm sure no one else saw anything going on, but I caught the intensity of your attention.
So it was no surprise when, only a few days after meeting me, you asked me out. Of course given my status at the time I had to tell you I was in a relationship. You were so quick to apologize and started to chastise yourself for not checking my Facebook page. If you'd just done that simple thing, you exclaimed, you wouldn't have put me in an embarrassing position.
It was sweet to see your confusion and watch you trying quickly to move back to talking in a jokey way. You didn't push any more, there was no more pressure - just a quick apology and then back to business as usual.
Well my friend you don't know it but that moment of my being unattached has finally arrived.
My Facebook status still says 'in a relationship' but I'm really lying to the world, keeping at bay all those tiresome guys who check my profile out online after they've seen me at the office.
Over the last few months the relationship I've had with my boyfriend has become long distance in every sense of that phrase. We've become increasingly separated emotionally as well as physically and seem gradually to be losing interest in each other. Neither of us is making much effort to keep things going.
In fact, it's been so low energy between us that there's not even been a formal split. But the phone calls between us have stopped and neither of us have made any travel plans to visit each other. We both know it's over.
But I'm not feeling sad because tonight you are I have arranged to do one of our after work movies in the usual 'just friends hanging out' mode. The day has really dragged for me but five o'clock has finally rolled around so I retire to the Ladies room to shed my business clothes and change into something more relaxed for the evening.
I'm feeling more than usually particular about how I'll look tonight. It's hot in the city -- one of those 'dog days' of summer when you wish you could come to work wearing the flimsiest clothes you have. So I change into a light cotton summer dress and sandals.
I don't want to feel encumbered or trapped this evening. It's a time for me to breathe, to feel free, to risk. The straps on my dress show off my nicely tanned shoulders, always one of my best features. I apply the slightest touch of gloss to my lips, a little eyeliner, and a dab of perfume behind my ears.
Of course, you're blissfully unaware of my plans but I have to admit that I'm a little excited about what might happen tonight. There's a frisson of anticipation, a slight but pleasurable level of nervous tension. And there's a secret to my preparations that thrills me the most.
Tonight is a no pantie night.
As we leave work to walk to the movie theater you're talking about how glad you are that we're taking in an early show because you're meeting a friend later for a drink. You apologize for not being able to have our usual post-movie chat and tell me you have to leave soon after it ends for your appointment.
I know that 'friend' is someone you've been seeing for a while and, though you'd never dream of telling me, I sense that you're intimate with her. What you don't know is that now I want to be the 'friend' you see, the one you look forward to touching, caressing and laughing with.
I don't remember that much about the movie because I'm too preoccupied with what's going to happen once it's over. There's no need for you to walk me home afterwards but, as usual, you do that, purely because you like my company. It's not a male protection thing, you just want an excuse to try to make me laugh one more time, a last chance to find out what's on my mind. So we leave the theater and stroll through the warm evening air, chatting about 'stuff' as we get closer to my apartment.
I can feel the cotton fabric of my dress moving over my skin and am very aware of my no pantie status. There's a warm evening breeze and occasionally it steals up my skirt to caress my thighs. My pubic hairs tingle as the air brushes over them and occasionally they brush against the inside of my dress as we're walking home. When that happens my labia tightens slightly in pleasure. I feel my lips get just that little bit puffier.
A pleasing wetness begins to lubricate me as I walk. I imagine my lips glistening slightly, shining as if they're covered in dewdrops.
Of course, you're oblivious to all this as you stroll beside me, chatting of future movies you'd like to catch.
