Chapter One
"Oh, my God, Bro, you gotta be lying," Erin laughed. She had been laughing since I began telling my embarrassing story. I knew she'd get a kick out of it. We had been friends for far too long for us not to know each other's sense of humor. Any story that involves me humiliating myself was right up her alley.
"I'm totally serious. You think I'd make
this
up?" I said, shaking my head. Erin and I sat next to each other on our couch, but Erin sat with her legs crossed facing me as she rocked back and forth in her amusement.
"No, this shit could only happen to you, Shane," she giggled and fingered away tears from the corners of her eyes.
"So, I'm sitting there, right? She just diagnosed me and then she tells me to stand and take off my pants."
"Wait, what?" she asked, wide-eyed with excitement.
"I know. Like this doctor just got done telling me how jerking off needs to become a bigger part of my lifestyle, and then she has me take my pants off to point out different things to me."
Erin ran a hand through her raven hair as she pressed her face against the couch cushion, trying to hide from the second hand embarrassment she felt.
"So there she is, poking my balls, pointing at my shaft--all the while I'm just nodding and smiling because all of my focus is on not getting hard--oh, yeah, I didn't tell you. Of course, the doctor is fucking hot, too. Like of course!" I yelled in disbelief as I shook my head. "It's like impossible to get diagnosed with hyperspermia and have an unattractive doctor."
Erin's laughter quieted, but her smile seemed to grow as she eyed me carefully. "What was hot about her?" she asked.
"I don't know, she was hot," I said, taken back by the question. Erin might have been a nineteen-year-old girl who was my same age and lived with me, but I didn't really see her as a girl.
We had been best friends since before middle school and did everything together, from riding bikes and playing fighting in the grass to video gaming and going out drinking as we got older. When we started getting girlfriends and boyfriends, we'd talk about them a little bit (basically just acknowledging their existence), but even then, we didn't get into the nitty-gritty.
To be honest, much of our conversations over that topic stopped completely over one summer in particular when Erin hit puberty and her breasts grew massively in just a month or two. Almost immediately, our play fighting stopped, and things became weird between us for a time. Erin hated her body during that time, but eventually, a new normal was found between us, and Erin seemed to grow comfortable again with her body. She stopped trying to hide her curves and just embraced them and then knocked any boy who disrespected her on their ass.
"Come on. What was hot about her? Tell me," Erin pressed with a raised eye brow and her head cocked to the side.
I felt a swell of heat blush my cheeks from this line of questioning. Something about this awkwardness now reminded me of that time when our bodies were changing. We were old now--sophomores in college, roommates, and unsupervised, which made this conversation feel all the more dangerous.
"I don't know, she was hot. She possessed the same qualities that all men find attractive," I said.
"Like..." Even Erin was starting to blush as she leaned forward to meet my gaze.
I shrugged, "Big tits, fat ass, blonde hair..."
"Oh, so that's your type, huh?" she asked, her smile slightly doused, "Didn't know you went for that blonde bombshell thing. God, does every guy have a cheerleader kink?"
Overwhelmed from the line of questioning, I held up my hands, "First of all, no, blondes aren't my thing. Secondly, we're getting off-topic here. I was in the middle of my story!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Erin said, waving my story away, "You got your junk poked a bit and had to keep from getting hard, yada yada yada. So tell me about this hyperspermia condition, what'd your blonde bombshell say about it?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Basically, make too much sperm too quickly for my body to store. So that's why it was hurting me before."
"No girlfriend and not enough," Erin made the jacking off motion with her hand, complete with wet sound effects.
I laughed, "Yeah, pretty much."
"So," Erin said, leaning back on the arm of the couch in a way that arched her large breasts up and toward me. Her black top hugged them to her chest but left a long line of cleavage to stare at me. "What's the magic number then?"
"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow.
"How many times you gotta cum to keep your body chugging along," Erin asked with a amused grin.
"Fuck you, I'm not telling you that," I said, standing and looking for things to pick up and straighten off the floor and the coffee table.
"Why not?"
"Because it's weird, besides your such an asshole you'll start like a tally or something. I'd be going to class and hear you yell out if I did my daily bating."
Erin clutched her stomach as she laughed, sprawling out on the couch. "A bating quota," she laughed harder.
"See? I told you, you were an asshole," I said.
"No, come on, don't be that way. I'm studying to be a nurse, and I need to learn these things. How many?"
I groaned to myself as I rubbed my palms down my face, "She said like five or six times."
Erin made a face and rolled her eyes, "Five or six times a week? That's nothing. My ex-boyfriend and I used to fuck that much for the fun of it."
"Yeah, that wouldn't be bad," I nodded, doing a circle around the room as I shook my head, "but its daily. Five or six orgasms a
day
."