It was a big job and I had already been on-site for three days. The assignment was originally a simple migration from a Microsoft platform to a Linux Back-Office solution. Backing up data and moving all the servers to Linux would normally be a one-day affair, two at the most. The difficulty came when I discovered so many of the desktops were still running Windows 95, which presented a sticky set of issues dealing with security and authentication. I could have worked it out but my suggestion for them to upgrade the hardware and install Windows 2000 on all the desktops was the better solution and they went for it. Oh well, just what I wanted to do; set up a Windows server so I could do a push installation on all the new hardware.
The upside of it was I began to get quite friendly with the senior V.P. in charge of the I.T. Department. Danielle was a vivacious woman. Fifty years old with dark red hair that rippled in soft waves to her shoulders, when not tied back in a bun as she normally wore it. Her green eyes that peered from behind a pair of black-framed, horn-rimmed glasses; sparkled when she laughed and flashed with the intensity of a laser when she was angry. She carried her well-proportioned, five-foot six-inch frame with poise and dignity. Her stride was purposeful, which made the clack of her three-inch pumps a distinctive sound that always warned of her imminent approach. The hem of her three-piece suit stopped just below her knees, a trifle long by today's standards, but it would be hard to imagine her wearing anything else. In short, she would never be mistaken as one of the many secretaries that lined the wide hallways of the office building.
In my first hour on-site, one of the young geeks in Network Administration had taken me aside and warned me about her, saying she was Hell-on-Wheels and a real bitch to get along with. They had nicknamed her Medusa, probably for her hair as much as her eyes; which could wilt a lesser person in seconds.
I, however, found no validity in such assertions. Instead I found her to be witty, charming and a true delight to be around. Danielle was a breath of fresh air in what I would otherwise deem a staid and drab environment. Perhaps it was because we were both the same age and came from similar backgrounds. Or perhaps it might be that we shared the same views on life; lamenting the sad state of affairs today's work force, the lack of education and competency and the prevalence of ignorance and apathy. I guess we were both stuck in the '60's.
I had arrived early with the intention of finishing up the job that day so to avoid a long weekend of sitting around a motel room while I waited for business to resume on Monday. Most of the personnel didn't arrive until 10:00 A.M., and I had made an appreciable dent in my task by that time. I decided to take a break and made my way to the lunchroom, hoping I might run into Danielle there. Truth is, I damn near did, too. We literally bumped into each other at one of the tight corners next to the elevators.
"Oh, am I glad to see you!" Danielle gasped as she regained her balance.
"Wonderful! It is so refreshing to be appreciated for something other than my mind." I responded with a grin.
She gave me a quizzical look for a few moments, frowning as if I had just spoken to her in Swahili. Then her face broke out in a grin.
"Heh-heh. Funny. That took me completely by surprise," she chortled. "You do come up with the damnedest things. I bet you stay up all night thinking of new quips and quotes."
"Nah, it's all off-the-cuff. Keeps me on my toes."
"Yeah, you say things like that to keep other people off balance. It's your way of trying to maintain the upper hand. I see through you, you insecure fraud!" She laughed.
"Alas, I've been found out! My carefully constructed charade is for naught! My fate is sealed! Now I must retire to the Network Admin dungeon and dine on dirt and rat turds. Oh woe is me!" I responded as I backed away, holding my hands out in front of myself in mock defense.
"No, that fate must await you, Sir Knight, for I have need of your skills and I wouldn't want them dulled by such fare," Danielle snickered as she took my hand and led me down the hall.
"Oh Fair Maiden, what would you have from such a lowly one as I?" I inquired.
"Sir Knight, if you pardon the mixed metaphor, I need you to consult with the Oracle at Delphi, via cell phone of course."
"But of course. An overseas flight is not in my itinerary nor my budget." I snorted. "What, pray tell, am I to inquire of the Oracle?"
"Beseech her to divine the meaning of the phrase, `CuSeeme has generated a Fatal Exception', then come to my chambers and work your magic on my computer."
"Huh?"
Danielle looked around her briefly before continuing.
"My CuSeeme software not only crashed but it killed my computer. It won't even boot now. I just get a blinking cursor."
"Ahh, yes. Not the first time I have run into that, though it has been a couple of years."
"I'd get one of the geeks in Network Admin to look at it, but I am not comfortable with having any of those twits in my home," she said with a frown.
She looked up at me and batted her eyes before continuing, "I'll reward you handsomely, Sir Knight, with a table fit for your King."
"Fair Maiden, your offer is accepted, for I fear I shall truly perish were I to place but one more morsel of Howard Johnson's fare between my reluctant lips."
"It's a date, then?"
"Sure! You want me to meet you in the parking lot?"
"Don't be silly. I'm sure everyone expects me to take you out to dinner tonight anyway. I mean, that is accepted practice once a job like this is completed."
The rest of the day passed without event and I was able to complete the job. I was looking forward to spending the evening in Danielle's company, even if it was just dinner.
The ride to Danielle's home took about thirty minutes, during which time I was able to observe her in other than professional surroundings. She drove a car like she drove her subordinates, cautiously yet aggressively. Although we chatted at length about nothing, her attention never left the road and I was unusually comfortable with her at the wheel.
When we got to her house, the first thing she did when we stepped through the door, was kick off her shoes. I didn't have to be told to do likewise, since the floor was covered in white Berber carpet.
"The computer is in the spare bedroom at the end of the Hall, Robert. You can take at look at it while I get out of these stifling clothes and start dinner."
"Works for me," I said as I made my way in the direction she indicated.
I set my briefcase down on the edge of the computer table and sought out a light switch while taking in my surroundings. The room was plush, furnished in White Oak; Ethan Allen's finest was my guess. The walls were painted in a faux finish that resembled Italian Marble.
"I'm impressed," I muttered as I sat down at the computer table and pulled out the keyboard drawer. Then I froze in shock, for there nestled against the keyboard was an eight-inch, battery-powered dildo. I slowly reached down and picked it up, holding it in my hand as I dwelt upon its meaning.
