Overwhelmed

Chapter 1 - The night we met

We have seen each other at the bar a few times and his eyes which show trials beyond his years show through his intense stare. He works behind the bar, and each time I have come in I have sat in a seating area away from him to give myself safety and boundaries. No one should be this infatuated without even talking to that person - should they?

Each week I have come in, it is under the guise of meeting friends or interacting with coworkers and always getting drinks from a cocktail waitress. For some reason I can't approach him. I can't initiate. And "why" is beyond me, I don't shy away from most things. But to me he is just so intense and untouchable. Just a look and I am overwhelmed.

Those feelings don't keep me from continuing to stare. He is a beacon, someone that intrigues me. He is not all hard edges - but seems defiant and searching. I imagine as a bartender, he has to be so different from me. He is not looking to climb the corporate ladder or get ahead, however in my imagination he seems to be searching for...something. He smiles at coworkers and handles his drink orders with a nod but when I have caught his eye those few precious times it is always returned with intensity.

I feel my insides go aflame and my mind go blank. It's like my entire body points due north...to him.

That moment is what I seem to crave. He pauses, looks at me, and a hint of a smile crosses his lips. His eyes burn into mine and maybe only a second or two passes, but it fuels my body even across the room. Lust surges through me, my nipples tighten and my breath stills.

But who am I to him? I definitely am not the prettiest girl in the bar. I have I have quick smile, and pretty, soft curly brunette hair that sits on a curvy, athletic figure that's always felt a little too big compared to my blonde, lithe friends that look more like what you see on magazine covers. I wonder if I am imagining this connection. If to him I seem like just another of his hundreds of patrons that walk through his bar's door. However, when his eyes were on me I felt like I was the only one there at that moment.

The first few times I came in, it was relatively early in the night. I left well before closing and knew I needed to leave due to work the next day. I would crawl into bed dreaming of his hazel green eyes and intense stare. Sometimes rubbing my nipples against my sheets to find relief.

Last night, a few friends from work had decided to go to dinner together. We joked and laughed and let off steam about work, pressures we felt, and wondering if we all were pointed in the right direction in our lives. Bottle after bottle of wine was consumed, and laughter continued. We didn't want the night to end.

When the group asked each other, where to next, I blurted out his bar before realizing what I was suggesting. Everyone in the group just nodded and rolled out of the restaurant without question. All navigating the few blocks to where I was praying he was working that night.

As I walked through the door, I realized there was a different vibe to the night than the after work crowd I was used to. The bar was full, the music was louder, and the feel was much more casual.

After showing my ID to the bouncer, my eyes immediately shot to the bar looking for him. His broad back was to me, but I could tell it was him. And at that moment, immediate relief and excitement shot through my veins. He was here tonight! My lace panties immediately were wet as I pressed my jean clad thighs together.

The women in my group congregated into a corner around a cocktail table away from the bar as the guys went to the bar for the first round of drinks. And I realized I couldn't continue to stare without being noticed by the group. My disappointment was almost physical, as I was so drawn to his presence. I navigated around the table to at least partially face the bar, so I could periodically watch him work.

The night went on, the conversation turned silly as we bought round after round. Each of us taking a turn. When it was mine, I made the excuse to go to the bar stating the waitress was busy. Which wasn't exactly a lie, but really I was eager for it to be true. My alcohol fueled brain making me brave.

I squeezed through the crowd and made my way to the front toward his side of the bar, trying to catch his eye. Some jerk who seemed to forget his manners thought that because I was alone it should be fair game to touch me. The jerk had his hand on my hips trying to steer me into an embrace. As he walked up to take my order, he saw me struggle away from the jerk's hands trying to pull me against the bastard.

My eyes went wide as he reached across the bar grabbed the jerk's arm and simply said, "let go of her". The malice in his voice didn't give room for doubt. And the look in his eyes burned the message that he was just looking for a reason to do damage to the jerk with the octopus hands. Surprisingly the jerk quickly submitted, and turned away. I stood there amazed as he then turned his gaze to me. I realized that I must have been looking into his eyes for a while, not necessarily hearing what he was asking. As the sound in the room caught up to me and the rushing sound in my ears seemed to recede, I realized his stare included a question. And as the "smooth operator" I was channeling, I replied "huh?"

That grin, his grin, again replaced his expectant look. I realized that I needed to pull myself to the present and stop staring. I could feel my blood rushing to my face.

But as I never ever take myself too seriously, I smiled, red face and all, and asked for my drink order, he cocked his head to the side and turned to fetch me the beers and drinks I ordered. Upon his return, as I passed cash across the bar, he placed his hand over mine and said...

"I have seen you here before, I would like to know your name?"

"Carina" was my breathy reply. And not because I was trying to be alluring, just my breathe seemed to vanish when he looked at me so intensely.

"Well Carina, beautiful name for a beautiful girl" he squeezed my hand before letting go and turned to his next drink order.

As he turned to make his next round of drinks, I was still dumbfounded and rooted to the spot. He pivoted to grab something below the bar, he saw me still standing there, winked and said, "I'm James" and left to grab another bottle behind the bar.

I walked back to my table in a daze. Having been given a new identity to my crush, "James." And shook myself internally as I handed drinks out to my friends and co-workers to re-engage into the conversation.

Shortly after a waitress came to the table and took our orders, she returned and handed me a single drink, slipping me a cocktail napkin and a smile. The conversation around the table was loud and rowdy, so no one notice the exchange. I put the folded napkin in my nap and opened it away from prying eyes. It read "Blue Diner. 1 AM. James"

The night continued and my group thinned. I lingered and heard last call be hollered through the bar. I was surprised at the time, I guess I had been lost in the decision trees I was running through my head. Do I go? Why wouldn't I go? My normal self-limiting, "I follow the rules" and you-don't-meet-strange-guys-in-unknown-places internal fears were being over-ridden by tonight's earlier conversation with my friends. We all were worried we were wasting our youth striving for very middle-age notions of success, wealth, and promotions. Though we were all driven, a few of us, me included, worried we were missing out on life. Just then I caught your eye and that grin shot straight to my lace panties. At that moment I nodded my head and decided to meet you, which then started another internal monologue of ohmygod-ohmygod-ohmygod.

Finally my group rose to leave. I shared a ride home with a friend who would be dropped off first, I claimed I was good to get myself home and she closed the door with a "see you Monday". But instead of telling the car driver where I lived I asked him if he knew where the Blue Diner was located. And as he pulled away from the curb, I wondered if this is what Alice felt when she fell into the looking glass.

The Blue Diner was a local foodie spot, that as it turns out, is open "after hours" to a select few who don't mind eating while the staff preps for the next day. This "after hours" seating caters mainly to other chefs, bartenders, and musicians. Not exactly closed to public, but definitely not highly advertised. As I walked through the door, I had a waiter give me a wave toward a set of tables that was covered in paper instead of linen as he carried out a stack of plates obviously just out of the dishwasher. I choose a two top in the corner and sat down as someone across the room casually yelled, "Coffee, water or alcohol?" at me. I asked for water and tried not to fidget or stare at the few surrounding tables that seemed to be filled with those in chef tunics, waiters with ties open, or groups with instrument boxes sitting along the wall.

As 1:10am came, I started to realize I would need to leave, disappointment settling heavily down on my chest until I saw him walk into the doorway, eyes searching for me. Then instant relief washed through me, followed by intense heat.

"You came"

I'm not sure who said it first. But I blushed and that grin spread across his face. The one that seems to do havoc to my insides. He moved the chair to sit next to me and simply asked if I ordered yet. I shook my head, then he flagged down one of the busy waiters and ordered two small plates of the porterhouse agnolotti and two glasses of pinot noir for both of us.

As James turned back to me, I asked with a grin of my own, "how do you know if I will even like that?" He pursed his lips and a hard glint entered his eyes, James waited a pause then leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "Tonight, you are mine, and I know how to take care of what is mine." I was speechless, breathe caught in my lungs.

He then leaned back as if that never happened and asked "Carina, what do you do for a living?"

The conversation was light, but the way he looked at me was not. I shared that I had moved here for work after college. I learned James was from the area though had just returned from a long time away and many travels across the globe.

The food and glasses of wine came, it was beyond delicious, and he smiled a knowing smile over his wine glass as I continued to sip on water and pick at my half eaten plate.

As the plates were cleared, he threw cash on the table and leaned forward whispering in my ear, "I'm taking you home now".

James held my hand as we rose from the table. We were similar heights as I wore heels but his broad shoulders and musculature made me feel feminine as I followed him out of the restaurant's front door. As we walked outside, he turned around to ask me my address and ordered a car on his phone. Then with that intense stare in his eyes, he pulled me against him putting his hands on my hips. He looked directly into my eyes. "I want to kiss you," he whispered and I could feel his thumbs making circles against my sides. "And I can't wait any longer," he stated.

"Why were you were waiting?" I realized that thought must have been said out loud when his grin came back.

He raise one hand behind my nape and threaded his hand in my hair, pulling my mouth to his. He was gentle and his lips nibbled at mine. The world around me vanished and all I felt was his lips against mine. I felt like it was a promise of things to come.

In the car heading to my condo, we didn't speak much, allowing my mind to race with thoughts and doubts. I looked out the window and worried my lip. Then I felt him against my ear, nuzzling my neck, saying "I can hear you worrying, let go, I have you." Slowly his hand ran up my leg with his fingernails gently scratching up my tight jeans. The slow stroke seemed to take forever to bring his hand between my legs but he stopped right before where I ached to be touched. When he continued to kiss my neck, I thought I would lose my mind. The car stopped abruptly and again I blushed as I got out, completely forgetting we were not alone.

James walked me to door my condo building, following me inside and up the flight of stairs to my second story condo. As I stood outside my door, and looked up into his eyes, I knew once we walked inside I was done for. I had never brought someone home like this and a host of worries again ran through my head. Was this a good idea? Should I send him home? I knew any idea we wouldn't sleep together once we walked through that door was me lying to myself.

All those thoughts were lost when James grabbed me for a searing kiss. Strong hands on either side of my face, threading his fingers in my hair, positioning me for his kiss. A kiss where he was clearly taking things from me. He was in complete control. All thoughts and doubts left me and I was only sensation. I leaned into that kiss, it made me feel both on fire and for some reason safe. All the decisions for tonight were no longer in my hands.

"Carina, take me inside now." I simply blinked up at him. The reality that we were on my doorstep came to me in a rush. Again I blushed. Who am I tonight?

He loosely held my hips as I took both hands to turn the key and open my door. As I walked into my hallway, he closed the door behind him and turned the lock. Then he approached me again, stalking me, grabbing my face, but this time maneuvering me to the wall, and pressing his entire body against me. I felt his erection rub against me and everything in me tightened. My nipples, my stomach, and the ache below went super nova. I wondered if I could come just from his kiss. And then his strong leg parted my legs and lifted me ever so slightly so I was riding his jeans. I was lost to his assault of a kiss.

The kiss seemed to go on forever, as I rubbed myself against him and rode his leg. He put my hands up against the wall and told me to keep them there. I was not to touch him. Then I felt him drag his mouth down my neck and collarbone. He lifted my shirt and I heard him groan, "I have wanted my hands on these since I first saw you." James touched my right nipple through the fabric of my lace bra circling it so it got harder still. I bit my lip again as I watched his face engrossed with my body's response. James then pulled the lace of my bra down so my large breast was lifted up to him. And his hands and mouth descended and sucked them hard, as if he knew instinctively how I liked to be touched, even biting them, and then soothing away the sting with his tongue.

He started removing my jeans, sliding down my body as he slid my jeans down my legs. Keeping my panties in place. He removed my heels and had me step out of both them and my jeans. His hands ran up along my legs and hips as he rose again to put his hand on my other breast. Similarly sucking, biting, and soothing it. I was in turmoil, I was in heaven, I felt all the riot of sensations. I knew if he simply touched me I would combust.

Without thinking, my hands came down to play with his hair as he seemed to worship my breasts, and he surprised me by spinning me around and slapping my ass with one strong slap. I gasped more from the suddenness of the movement than from any real hurt, but as the sharp pain faded into warmth, I moaned. He spun me around again to face him, his eyes again full of intensity and promise. "Keep you hands on the wall, Carina."

I was looking down when I was spun around, but at his command I looked up at him through my lashes and could only reply with, "Yes Sir."

"Good Girl."

And then that grin was back and I knew I was done for.

My hands again were against the wall level with my head. I felt helpless and cherished as he again started his assault on my senses. First another drugging kiss on my mouth, then my ears and neck as if he knew how sensitive I was there. His mouth again found my breasts, and again he was rough with them, rougher than before. Twisting and biting them again and again, but soothing them with soft kisses and blowing on them.

James leaned back and looked at me. His stare was intense, his left hand dragged up my body, using his fingernails to slightly scratch at my skin. And slowly he eventually made it up to my right wrist. He took my hand from the wall and placed it on the bulge in his pants.

"Do you feel this? This is for you?" He said while looking in my eyes. Again placing a gentle kiss upon my lips.

I went to stroke it. But he snatched my hand away, shaking his head. Placing it again against the wall

"I want to touch it," I said on a moan, mindless with need.

"No, my Carina, not yet.", and then we couldn't talk because his mouth was on mine again. Drugging me with his kisses and working me over with this skillful tongue. I could only suck on it to show him how much I wanted him. How much I needed him.

He moved his hands down the sides of my body, to my panty clad hips. And started to make circles with his fingers across the front of the lace of my panties. He had to know I was dripping wet. And I arched my hips to increase the contact. He slowly slid his fingers over my mound, pressing the lace between my folds. I heard the words, "so wet," uttered. In the back of mind my mind I wondered if I should be embarrassed.

Again I was so close to coming and started to pant at his touch. He must have felt me tense and again broke away from his kiss to watch me. He rubbed his fingers back and forth as I soared higher and higher against his fingers. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, and let my head fall back against the wall as ecstasy racked through my frame. It was all I could do not to scream out. This was what it meant to "fall apart" in someone's arms was the only thought in my scrambled brain.

My world shifted as he then picked me up and wrapped me around his torso as he walked down the hallway to my room. With my head lolling against his shoulder, he turned his head to kiss me and ask along the way with just the word "bedroom?" I must have indicated which one because he opened the door and walked into my room.

Then laying me on the bed, James began to explore my body, my curves. He told me to put my hands on my iron bed frame as he again assaulted my large breast. James seemed like he couldn't get enough of my nipples, even remarking, "I can't wait to put these in clamps". The back of my brain said I should worry about that comment, but all thought was lost as he moved down my stomach and kissed lower and lower.

James's hands ran over my hips and wet panties. "I love your smell", he remarked as his tongue felt my wet fold through the lace of my panties. The friction of his tongue and the lace against my sensitive flesh had my eyes rolling back in my head. I couldn't get enough. James feasted against me, eventually moving my panties to the side so he could slip his strong tongue inside me. He stroked my folds and found my clit with his tongue and eventually his teeth. He lightly bit down on it and I thought I would slip under again. But then he rolled me over and pulled my hips up so I was on all fours. I blinked at the sudden change in position, feeling my large breast sway underneath me. James leaned over me, covering me with his body, as he told me to hold the bed frame. I again said, "Yes Sir," and was rewarded with that amazing grin that reached his eyes with untold promises.

He got off the bed, and slowly removed his clothes. Pulling his t-shirt over his head and removing his shoes and jeans displaying a large muscular chest that looks like it worked construction rather than sculpted in a gym. I realized as I watched him over my shoulder that he didn't wear underwear. For some reason that made me moan. His cock was thick and bobbed at its freedom. He then returned to me on the bed and stroked my back and ass that was still in the air.