From the beginning I should say that I don't usually go for muscle-y guys, or even "hot" guys. I crave a particular kind of dirty hot that escapes most sought after modern men. They're too pretty.
But every now and then I catch a glimpse of a perfectly chiseled torso and I get it. It feels very animalistic to admire a great torso and anything that makes you feel primal also makes you feel sexy. It's a feeling like yes, this is the human form in it's most perfect condition and I would not at all mind being underneath it.
This is all to say when I met my physical trainer I was not intimidated by his striking appearance or his Zac Effron abs. Of course he was going to be hot, it was his full-time job to look ridiculous, like being an underwear model but with more busy work. I greeted him with, "I think you should know that I hate working out." I thought he'd laugh or at least smile, but he just locked eyes with me and said, very seriously, "That's not good."
My heart sank. I had signed up for a personal trainer because I did hate working out. I didn't even know how to use a gym. I'd played soccer in school and I loved playing a game, but I hated the workouts involved. Now that I was out of school and writing full-time, I spent way too much time on my ass to not learn how. I foolishly hoped he would take it easy on me.
"You're going to start by emailing me every night to tell me everything you ate that day." "Oh," I replied, "I don't think I have an issue with my diet, I'm just looking to learn how to stay in shape."
"No. I need to review what you are putting into your body. It affects what I will have you do in our sessions." He was so serious.
And so I began ending every night with an email to my stoic trainer, John. I tried to be conversational, explaining anything that looked too unhealthy:
Hi John,
Here's my food for the day:
Breakfast:
1 egg white/1 egg
slice of cheddar cheese
sriracha
Lunch:
1 slices wheat bread
turkey/lettuce/mayo
1 bag pop chips
1 chocolate donut (a coworker brought them in for her birthday)
Snack:
string cheese
Dinner:
Cheeseburger and 1/4 serving of fries (it was a first date, I couldn't order a salad!)
No response. He never responded. He only looked at me disapprovingly when it came time for our weekly session. "Adrienne, you're going to stick to your meal plan this week. Or else I'm going to be forced to punish you next session."
"Isn't working out punishment enough?"
"You haven't seen anything yet." He smirked. It was the first time I'd seen anything resembling a smile. He looked good.
It was then that I realized how attracted to him was. I'd thought about him all week, how I needed to impress him by sticking to my meal plan or by including a funny comment at the end of my email — and how he didn't crack until he talked about punishing me. What did he even mean?
That second training session was harder than the first. Instead of just showing me a bunch of machines and how to use them, we did a circuit, and he watched me complete each rep. I was laying on a bench lifting small dumbbells over my head when I noticed how low he wore his pants. His hands were outstretched spotting me, causing his t-shirt to lift up a bit and exposing a few inches of his very lower abdomen. I think my jaw dropped a bit as I did a double take over his exposed body and up to his smirking face.
Shit. He caught me staring.
He was almost laughing now as he told me to get up. It was time for the treadmill. I followed him groaning internally. "I'm going to push the buttons for you, you're not to touch them. Got it?" What did he mean? "What if I need to run slower?" I asked him. "Adrienne, I know what I'm doing. You're going to need to trust me."
He started me off at 4.0. I could almost walk. "This is a good pace," I laughed. "Nah, you're just warming up." He's an expert, I thought, just trust him this one time and see what happens. And so I did, and it was really an incredible workout. I ran faster and harder than I ever would have on my own and it sucked — but I stuck with it. "I think I can see a little bit about why people do this for fun," I told him.
"I told you you'd like it," He said grinning playfully. "Now go hit the showers and I'll see you here next week." With that he slapped my ass, turned, and walked back towards the trainer's desk. What?
What was he thinking? You can't just slap a woman's ass? That's like, sexual harassment or something. Plus, I was paying him money. The whole thing was weird. I should have been upset, but I wasn't. In fact, if I was honest with myself, I was giddy.
I showered at the gym and replayed the moment a hundred times. Had he tried to pat me on the back and grossly misjudged the distance? Was it a force of habit from his football days? By the time I'd dried myself off and dressed again I'd convinced myself that it was a mistake. A meaningless mistake.
But I caught his eye as I walked from the locker room to the front entrance. And I could have swore he winked.
The next week I was vigilant with my meal plan. I wanted to impress John. I wanted him to be proud of me.
Hi John,
This is what I ate today:
Breakfast:
2 egg whites, 1 egg
onion and red pepper
1/3 cup skim milk
Lunch:
1 whole wheat wrap