I loved him like they do in movies. The angry, scared, passionate, anxious, intense, confusing, and absolute love that people long for. What we had was something that most people spend their entire lives looking for, so naturally, I broke up with him and almost destroyed everything.
What followed was some of the worst months of my life.
For five months we would talk to each other daily and the conversations were heartbreaking. Joshua was confused and broken by what I had done to him. To us. Looking back it all feels so dramatic but it was truly the worst thing I have ever done. I risked a flawlessly beautiful relationship because of fear.
When we were finally able to work things out, our reunion was beautiful. That is what this story is about.
We had gone on several dates since we got back together. His smile had come back and I felt like a real person again. Our first kiss felt like breathing after holding your breath until the room was spinning.
After about a week of being back together our sexual tension was building. It had been five months without being able to touch each other and connect. He knew every inch of my body and how to use it. Every kiss became more intense. More needy.
I arrived at his house unannounced. He was laying in his bed watching Sports Center when I walked into his room. I could see the fire in his eyes when he realized what was happening. Joshua stood up from his bed and approached me. He lifted up his hand and stroked my face. My body began to relax at his touch and he walked me to his bed.
Gently, he stripped off my shirt and laid me down on his bed. He looked like heaven standing above me in his checkered boxers. 6'3". Tan. Toned. Dark hair and dark eyes. He was perfect. I moaned softly as he lowered his body onto me. It had been months since I felt his weight pressing me into the bed. Joshua kissed me slowly and I melted into him.