Author's note: This story is dedicated to all the men in my life doing their best, especially BM, my new sub who came up with the concept for this story and asked me to write it. Thank you for reading!
"Derrick I am sick of yo shit!"
A plate hit the wall to my left. I ducked hard as hell, she has finally lost it.
"Baby calm down it aint even like that, I don't even know this girl!"
For a split second she wanted to believe me then picked up her phone.
"Oh you don't know her huh then explain to me why she got a picture of you right here!"
She held her phone in my face, it was me. I remember the picture I told her dumbass not to post. My face had an emoji over it so I went for the best defense possible.
"That's not me you can't even see dude face!"
Pinch, zoom, shoved back in my face "That aint your stupid ass tattoo right there on your arm Derrick or some other fool got the same dumbass momma!"
"Hold up now, you aint about to get on my momma she aint been shit but good to you!"
Last ditch effort switch the reason we are mad and refocus the conversation.
"Fuck you and your momma because the WORST thing she ever did was give me yo, lyin, cheatin, no good ass!"
Ok, that was disrespectful on so many levels.
"I can't believe I fell for yo shit again. Always ooh baby I'm sorry, and I love you never again and here I am looking like boo boo the fool!"
Double down.
"Im telling you that aint me I don't know who this girl is, I sure as hell don't know dude in the picture this chick lyin, this is how they get us babe. They see we got a good thing and trying to destroy it because they hating. You know it's just me and you babe you KNOW that. Ride or die right?"
I moved in for a hug, I couldn't see her face, she covered it with her hands after the last rant. I couldn't tell if I was in the clear or not. I went in anyway.
SLAP
"You are stupid as hell if you think I am EVER going to let you touch me again, get yo shit and get the fuck out!"
"YOOOO! You aint have to hit me what the fuck!"
"You aint have to stick your dick in every little slut that pass your way niether, but this is life and the shit hurts get the fuck out my house!"
She started pushing me towards the door while I hurled protests on deaf ears. Nothing was going to work so I flipped it again.
"Fuck you Keysha! Always believing these hoes man I ain't did nothing with that girl!"
Door slam
"Gimme my shit!"
I beat on the door for a few minutes looking for my shit. For my tenacity I got a shower from the second story window. My phone went flying along with handfuls of clothes. I shouted in protest but the storm continued ending with a suitcase landing on my back while I tried to pick up my sneakers.
Twenty minutes and an embarrassing pack later I slammed my car door and let my tires squeal pulling out of the neighborhood. I called the homey Church and told him to meet me at the spot, once he agreed at least I had a direction and I would get a meal. "The spot" was where we went to chill out, it was this local bbq spot run by an old man and his wife. It was a great place to sit down and re-group. I pulled up to the smell of brisket and grabbed a plate and a beer waiting for Church to arrive.
Most people think they called him "church" specifically because he had the tendency to be a little "preachy" with his opinions but I was there when he got the name and know it's a name based on a threat. Back in the day, little J used to beat up on a kid named fish and he would always tell him "after church", before long it just became "church" and little J had a new name. It also didn't help that he was built like a brick shit house, the man was big as hell, like cant wear a red t-shirt or we would think he's the kool-aid man big. He was always good people to me and one of the few partners I had left from back in the day.
I scrolled through my phone wondering whose couch I could crash on. Naturally, I would ask Church since we went way back but he got a new girl and I knew how that went. They moved in together a while back, we have been around eachother but I don't know her like that. Last thing I need is another woman bitching at me about whatever. I tested the waters with a few "what you up to?" texts to see who bit, when Church showed up.
"What it dew, baby boi!"
He did have a knack for making me smile with his lingo while his hand came out slapping mine with his usual fervor.
"Aint shit man, just a day in the life, you eating?"
He laughed and leaned back rubbing his stomach.
"Am I eating? I ordered from the car lil bruh."
On cue A voice called out from the shack window "Church!"
"See I'm VIP round here baby boi!"
I laughed as he did an overly dramatic shuffle dance to the window to retrieve his food. No responses on my phone, see this is why you cant love these hoes. I picked through my food listening to Church haggle for more hot sauce before he came and sat down with three plates.
"You betta not waste all that meat man you gotta get those bones!"
"Man if you don't get out my plate with yo big ass!" I laughed pointing to his banquet.
"I'm just saying." Was almost the last thing he said as he choked on an overfilled forkful of greens needing to correct himself sipping some tea.
"You done dying man? You know aint not one of us round here can give your big ass the heimlich I need you to be more cautious out here!"
"Man *ahem*, shut the fuck up and tell me why you got me out here, I gotta head to work in a bit."
I exhaled and ran my fingers over my waves.
"I need to know who you know that can let me hop on a couch for a few days while I find a spot, Keysha tripping."
"Oh KEYSHA tripping? Miss WWE, Miss Undertaker coming through with the claiborne kick with the Rick flair WHOOO!"
He was dying laughing, he looked like a bowl of jello in a versace shirt. I crossed my arms and let him get it out, I needed a favor so if it means he gets to pick on the one time she beat the crap out of my side chick then I let it go.
"Did they ever find that poor girl wig? The only bitch that needed a brazilian butt lift to surgically replace her ass! The only bitch to hold a title belt in three weight classes! The only bitch to come off the top rope with a table! The only bitch-"
"Church! Damn we get it Keysha crazy."
He was still laughing.
"Aight, aight cool. I'm good. I promise I'm cool."
He was in fact not cool, still wiping tears from his eyes.
"What she catch you cheating again?"
"Man naw it aint even like that I didnt even fuck the bitch she talking about she all the way tripping this time."
