That was all it said. On another day, I might have questioned the ad's lack of detail, or missed it altogether because of its brevity - but today, I needed a job. I hate to admit it, but I was fairly desperate. And, as I'd held jobs more responsible than 'secretary', I assumed I'd have a good chance to get it.
So, I made the call. The man's voice was at once strong and businesslike, but also warm and inviting. He asked me to come for an interview at 2 that afternoon, gave me directions to his office, and stressed that I shouldn't be late.
When I arrived, two other women and a man were already sitting, waiting. I could hear one side of a phone conversation in the next room, and recognized the voice as that of the man I had spoken to earlier. It occurred to me that I didn't know what type of work he did, and found myself trying to piece together the answer to that question from the few words of his conversation I could make out.
One thing that was clear was that the man was in dire need of help. There was nobody sitting at what I assumed was the secretary's desk, and it was piled high with papers. A phone rang insistently every minute or so, before presumably going to voice mail. How long had he been without help? Did his last secretary leave suddenly? This train of thought was interrupted when the door leading to the inner office opened, and the man came out.
Yikes. I maintained my interview-day composure, but was quite taken aback when I saw how handsome he was. I guessed he was early 40s, his movie-star good looks paired with a clear comfort and confidence in his surroundings. His suit was exquisitely tailored, his shoes shined to perfection, and I couldn't take my eyes off his face - piercing blue eyes, wavy blonde hair, and an afternoon stubble just beginning to accent his strong jaw.
He approached first the man, then one of the other women, the older of the two, talked with each of them for just a few seconds, and they responded by gathering up their things and leaving. What, no interview? Well, maybe that's not even why they were there. He then looked my way and smiled, but chose to take the other woman into his office first. After what seemed like just moments, I could hear her voice raise angrily from behind the closed door, and before I knew it, she was storming past me and right out of the office.
Guess she didn't get the job! This was all very mysterious, what had I gotten myself into? But again, I was desperate, eager to land a steady job as quickly as possible. And now there was the added factor of this man's appeal; it wouldn't exactly be a challenge to share an office with him each day!
He ushered me in, offered me one of the rich leather chairs opposite his desk, and asked for my resume, which I handed him. He quickly perused it, seemed satisfied, and looked up, again offering me his gentle smile. "So, Brooke, may I tell you about the job?"
"Absolutely!"
"I need someone who can handle all of the day-to-day operations of my office, everything from greeting guests to answering the phone, from making coffee to handling my schedule and correspondence. It's obvious from your previous experience that this wouldn't be much of a challenge for you."
"Thank you. Yes, it sounds quite reasonable. And I'd be ready to start right away."
"Well, in that case, I should tell you what else the job entails," he said, studying my face for a reaction as he leaned back in his chair and continued. "Did you happen to notice anything unusual about the job ad to which you responded?"
"Well, yes, actually - the fact that the word secretary was all capitalized, as if it were an acronym. But I assumed it was just a mistake of the paper's?"
"That is, in fact, as I intended it. You see, I'm also in need of certain other services. Those that sent my last interview out of here in a huff. Slutty Executive Call-girl with Round, Edible Tits At the Ready, Yes?"
"Sir? Um, excuse me?"
