It started as a normal workday. I arrived at work and made sure everything was set up for the big presentation that we were giving that morning. Not that I would be giving the presentation. No, no, no. That was the prerogative of the Marketing Manager and the Information Innovations Manager. I was just the lowly hack who wrote most of the code for the software we were going to flog and oversaw the development of the sales spiel. (I had to oversee that to make sure that MM didn't wander too far from the truth. He could make a rusty Volkswagen sound like a new Ferrari.)
The idea was that I would attend the presentation and be ready to answer any questions that the customer might have that MM and IIM couldn't handle. You know the sort of thing -- technical questions about the product.
A bit about myself. The name's Ronny. I am twenty, female, decent figure, fair of face, and even fairer of hair. The sort of girl that most men look at and write off as a dumb blonde. More fool them, where I am concerned, as I have a mind like a steel trap and I am a guru about things electronic and programming them.
I didn't mind taking a back seat at the presentations as I was being well paid to let the bosses take the credit. The people who counted knew who was responsible and that was reflected in my salary.
Half an hour before the presentation was due to start and neither MM nor IIM had fronted up, which was unusual. I didn't worry, though, as MM, for one, would have to be in hospital strapped to a bed before he'd miss a chance of a sale. IIM would only be there for the kudos and was redundant really.
At five minutes to the hour the client arrived and I stalled by arranging someone to prepare coffee and a snack, excusing the missing attendees and assuring Mr Renson that they would be there momentarily.
"Unavoidably delayed," I murmured, noting that he didn't seem impressed.
That's when my phone rang. I could see it was ITT and I very hastily answered it.
"Where are you?" I demanded. "MM's not here either, but the client is."
"I'm in hospital with a broken leg," came the reply. "As for MM my understanding is that he's strapped to a bed with severe internal injuries. We got cleaned up by a truck on the way to the office."
"What about the presentation?" I asked. I wasn't really being callous, but the client wasn't going to be too happy about being told to go home, no matter the circumstances.
"Not a problem," said ITT. "You can handle it. Get out there and make that sale. Ah, have to go. They're taking me to radiology."
I didn't say what I wanted to, but I certainly thought it.
"Problem?" asked Mr Renson.
"Yes, but with a solution," I replied. "The two gentlemen who were going to give the presentation have been in a slight accident. Accordingly I will be doing the presentation."
"I can delay until tomorrow if that helps," he offered, but I shook my head.
"I suspect they won't be out of hospital tomorrow, or this week, for that matter. It's not a problem as I know the presentation and the software."
We went into the conference room and I ran through the presentation. I thought I did it pretty well, too. I'd noticed him taking notes as I talked and closing the presentation I asked if he had any questions.
He did. Did he ever. He pin-pointed every spot where the presentation might have been a little weak and asked for clarification. He even asked for clarification of some of the clarifications. This is where my knowledge of the code came into its own as I knew all the answers. A lot of these questions the MM would have palmed off onto me anyway.
"What is your company's policy towards bugs in the code?"
"Our policy is that we don't have bugs in our code. We may have some undocumented features, but we also have a policy to either document these features so you can work around them or amend the code to remove that particular feature."
I gave him a bright smile with that information. I can call these things bugs as I was a programmer, but users were supposed to be told they are undocumented features, courtesy of Marketing Policy.
"I see. How many undocumented features are we likely to find?"
"Damn few," I said honestly. "We pay ten bucks for every bug found - the first two beta testers to find a specific bug getting the money. We also pay out a hundred to the first beta tester who can successfully crash the system. When the software comes out of beta testing it is extremely robust."
"I see. So anything that gets through that becomes an undocumented feature? Why do any errors slip past in the first place?"