Momentarily, I am disconcerted. My habit of letting my mind drift away to sex is not usually a problem; usually I can absorb what's being said at the same time. It's a useful trick because I think about sex a lot. If it becomes too intense, i make an excuse, slip away to the ladies room, lock myself in a cubicle and deal with it. If I'm that aroused, it doesn't take long. This time, though, I have to ask Ty to repeat the question.
Paul, my husband, says the infamous statistic about how often men think about sex is true. If anything he thinks it's an understatement, but that may just be Paul assuming that everyone is as sexcentric as he is. What i find curious is that there is no comparable statistic for women. Anyone who assumes that women spend most of their time thinking about what's to be done in the office or the kitchen is just plain wrong. In my case, very wrong.
There are three of us sitting round a boardroom table covered in files, papers, calculators and cups of half-drunk coffee. Facing me is Ty, our Finance Controller. Ty's Caribbean good looks, ready smile and easy charm can disguise the acuity of his mind: he was a top five finisher in his year at Harvard Business School. Since my promotion to Head of Personnel I find myself regularly joining him at meetings, and Ty (nobody calls him Tyrone) now figures a lot in my sex fantasies .
Beside Ty is Monique, the lawyer from Paris. She has been flying in once a week for the past couple of months to represent the interests of the French outfit we have acquired. The three of us are the key figures in the committee delegated to sort out the logistics - redundancies, transfer of pension rights, relocation of several of our management people to France, dozens of tedious details. Is it any wonder that I'm often visualising myself lying with my head between Monique's thighs while Ty enters me from behind?
Monique, I guess, is about forty, which would make her some five years older than me. Lawyer or not, she carries an aura of confident Parisian chic, always fashionably dressed, never overstated. I deduce expensive lingerie from the fact that what appear to be relatively small breasts are invariably well supported. With good legs, she makes the most of her assets. But what lies beneath the image is hard to tell. Although occasionally our eyes meet I can't decide whether there is a message there or not. I try to imagine her at the point of orgasm but I cannot. All I see is an aloofness that defies penetration. There are rings on her wedding finger but that has been equally true of some of the people Paul and I have met on our occasional adventures. Monique is an enigma.
Then a contrary thought comes into my mind. If I can't help speculating about the size of Ty's penis and picturing Monique wrapping her lips around it, how do I know that privately they aren't having similar thoughts? Could Ty be mentally undressing her - or me? Might Monique's austere exterior hide a dormant volcano? How crazy if we are all on the same wavelength and nobody does anything about it.
It has been a long day of trying to make sense of the numbers; we are all tired and, if the truth be told, bored. I am tempted to test the water. I could say, "Can I make a suggestion? We've got as far as we're going to get this time. We need a break. Why don't we take turns to undress each other and see what develops?" The temptation is strong but I resist. If we are all having similar lascivious thoughts they remain unspoken.
[My consolation is to return home and find Paul waiting. Ever since Monique arrived on the scene I have been telling him how I fantasise about breaking through that forbidding exterior, involving Ty, the three of us together. Now we have developed a little ritual for the end of a day when Monique has been in town. We sit in facing armchairs. A CD is playing in the background; our current favourite for this scenario is Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet Overture (coincidentally, he called it a Fantasy Overture). I lift my skirt up to my waist, open my legs and slip my hand inside my knickers. Paul opens his trousers and extracts his penis.
Slowly, and with teasing pauses, I recount my imaginings. Over time the tale has grown longer, new details have been added, but the general outline remains the same.]
The story always starts at the point where I say to Ty and Monique, "Can I make a suggestion?" When I go on to explain what i have in mind there is a long pause. Have I gone too far, misjudged my colleagues? If so, how will I ever recover? The silence is broken by Monique. Nothing in her expression reveals her reaction. She simply crosses to me and says coolly, "Better, I think, if we remove one garment at a time." She looks at Ty. I realise he has literally been holding his breath for he almost gasps as he nods agreement.