Addie was still a looker, even after all these years. She had her share of ups and downs .... okay, a lot of downs .... but she was desperately trying like all the other women in her age bracket to stave off time. She didn't realize how she affected people. She didn't realize how truly beautiful she was, way down into her soul. There was one man that realized that, though, and his name was Sam.
Sam and Addie had been friends since high school. They dated a little, hung around together a lot, and generally got a kick out of one another's company. Sam thought Addie hung the moon, and Addie thought Sam was her soulmate. It's funny, though, how fate will step in and push people in different directions. And so it happened with these two. Addie followed her dream to college after graduation; and Sam, being the good ol' hometown boy he was, stayed behind. Addie was a little sad that he didn't follow her, but also overwhelmed by a future so full of possibilities. With a kiss, they said goodbye to one another, promising that some day their paths would cross again for good.
Addie's bright future didn't turn out to be as bright as she had anticipated. Like so many girls do, she allowed a man to lead her away from her dreams, and she became a wife and a mother ... her dreams slowly slipping into a flurry of bills to be paid and owies to be kissed. She worked hard at both, trying to be everything that her husband - - - and society - - - expected: productive, supportive, available for the twice a week trysts in bed that grew more and more routine. Addie realized that somehow the "Addie"she had dreamed about was fading from view - - - lost in this "real life" of hers. Her heart ached for the carefree love she had with Sam, but she knew he, too, had taken vows, had children and a life of his own. But still, she wondered if he ever thought of her. She wondered if he still .... perhaps ..... loved her. Even as her husband's body covered hers - - - as he murmured her name into the hollow of her neck - - - Addie thought of Sam. For 15 years, she couldn't shake him from her mind. Then it happened.
One of Addie's dearest friends, Sara, became terribly ill. Since Sara was just about the best friend Addie had ever had, and since Addie was a genuine caretaker, she chose to leave her children in the care of their father once a month to travel back to her hometown to help as best she could. It broke Addie's heart to see Sara struggle so, but their monthly time together not only helped Sara get much-needed things accomplished but also allowed Addie to talk about Sam to someone who knew and who understood. Addie poured her heart out to Sara over the hundreds of dishes washed and the meals cooked and the towels folded. "Addie," Sara said gently, "why don't you leave your husband if you are so unhappy?" Addie shook her head. "Sara, I'm not UNhappy .... I just miss Sam so." Sara nodded, although deep down she knew that Addie was aching for something lost. Or so she thought.
Even as Sara got better, Addie still came to her aid monthly. This ritual became as healing for Addie as for Sara, even after Sara was able to get a small part-time job. Addie came to Sara's apartment as a sort of a once-a-month sabbatical now .... and Sara enjoyed the company even when she didn't understand Addie's obsession with memories of Sam. One day, as Sara was ending her shift at the grocery store where she worked, she looked up to see Sam coming through her checkout line. "Oh my GOD!" he practically shouted, "how long have you worked here? Where have you been? Have you talked to Addie?!?" Sara didn't even have time to answer all the questions at once, and her stunned silence made Sam repeat his last question: "Have you talked to Addie? Where can I get hold of her??" Sara still didn't know how to answer, so she told Sam to wait while she closed out, and she would come talk to him. They went to the breakroom of the store, and she sat Sam down, telling him of Addie's life and her recent visits to town. Sam lowered his eyes, and whispered, "If I had only ......." then he looked up at Sara and continued "..... can you get to her? Tell her I want to see her. I need to see her." Sara agreed.
Addie sat the phone back into the cradle, moving as if in a trance, and slumped into the chair. She couldn't believe it. Sam wanted to see her. NEEDED to see her! After all these years. "Oh, he'll be so disappointed in me!" she had said to Sara .... glancing at herself in the mirror. "He'll take one look ...." Sara proposed that the next time she was in town, that they attend the high school football game. Sam was always there, and they could see each other from a distance. If he still wanted to see Addie, Sara said she'd arrange it for them. Sara warned her, "Addie, this is a small town, and you both are married. Please be careful!" Addie told her she understood and that she would. The football game sounded like a good plan, so Addie made arrangements to go the very next weekend.
When Addie went into the stadium with Sara that next Friday night, it was as if she was teleported back to high school. The sights, sounds, smells of fall and of football fever were so reminiscent of days gone by ...... of feelings she had long yearned to rekindle. Although things were "bigger" than they had been back then, there was still that small-town comaraderie that perpetuated over an air-filled pigskin. She saw classmates long ago forgotten .... and although all of them seemed to know her immediately, she was thankful that Sara was there to prompt her when their names became lost in her memories. Addie scanned the crowd .... and her eyes were immediately drawn to Sam. He was coming across the front of the stands, making way through a throng of people talking to him about the game. She smiled .... feeling it spread almost comically across her face. Their eyes met, and her heart lept ... but hopes were dashed when he merely took her hand and shook it, said "hello" and continued on. She and Sara sat back down, and Addie looked at Sara with a dazed and confused look. When Sara saw the hurt on Addie's face, she leaned over and whispered, "You gotta remember what I told you ... small town .... his wife is right over there .... " Addie knodded, but inside, her heart was broken.
A week later, the phone on Addie's desk rang. She answered, only to hear a gentle masculine voice say, "I'll bet you don't know who this is ...." All the blood left her, and she was suddenly glad that she was sitting.
She gulped, "Sam?!?"
"Hey, babe, betcha didn't think you would hear from me again, did ya?? I'm so sorry about the game. I couldn't talk right then ... too many people ... but oh, how I wanted to!"
Addie blushed, "Yeah, I wanted to, too. I sure have missed you ..."
"I've missed you, too, Addie. You don't know how much. Can I see you again?" Sam's voice was hopeful. Suddenly, clouds of confusion and doubt rolled over her, and he sensed her hesitation. "Addie, I'm not going to hurt you. I just miss you and want to talk, okay? Whatever happens ..... you have always had a special place in my heart .... and I can't let you leave my life again. I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to call. I really didn't know how you'd react, but I'm hoping we can renew our friendship if nothing else. I really do want you in my life, Addie"
Thus it began. Addie made arrangements to go to "help" Sara more often, and each time she was in town, Sam made arrangements for them to have a little time to be together. Their togetherness consisted mostly of talking .... about anything and everything. They laughed like they used to ... the only difference was that they were seeing each other at odd times of the day or night, and they had to be very discreet. Addie and Sam even shared things about their time apart, about their families, about their spouses. Addie confessed to Sam that back in high school she had wanted him to be her first lover, but when he had rejected her, she made the mistake of giving that gift to someone who wasn't very chivalrous. Sam told her gently that he'd known all along .... the boy she had allowed to take her came to school the very next day and had bragged to Sam how he'd "got her cherry". Addie wanted to die right there, until Sam told her it didn't matter anymore, but that he was sorry he hadn't listened to his true feelings back then.
