009 So this is what it feels like to be paid attention to.
I got to the gym and pulled off my hoodie I had on at work and put it in my gym bag. In a brisk walk across the parking lot I was trying not to run. I hadn't been this excited in, I couldn't remember when.
I scanned in and got a locker then went to the bikes. Looking around while trying to be nonchalant about it isn't easy for me I've discovered.
No sign of my guy from last night. Maybe he'll come in while I'm here I thought to myself. That day I did an extra 10 minutes on the bike. Then headed to the weights, arms day. At least most of the exercises were done with me sitting or standing so I could watch the gym floor. After about half my weight workout I'd pretty much given up on seeing him come in. But I did notice other guys looking at me. I love the tingle that gives me.
I guess that all the years I spent with Brandon hardly noticing I was alive made me hypersensitive when I actually had a guy pay attention to me. Even a passing excuse me was nice, but not really stimulating like being looked at because they think you're attractive. As I worked out I kept an eye on the other weight area where the bigger guys were to watch if they were still checking me out. Every little bit I'd see one steal a glance.
After a bit I noticed that the guys attention wasn't directed to my general direction, which I expected there were other girls/women there that were also attractive. I compared all of them to me in my head every time I was in the gym and for almost the whole time I was there. I still had a lack of confidence that would take a long time to get over I guess. I also had to admit that I loved looking at myself in the mirror. I definitely was prettier than all the other girls, so the work I had done on my face and all the pain was worth it now that I thought about it.
After a while I noticed practically everyones attention at the other end of the weight area I was in. Wanting to know as well what was going on I had a look down there while trying to be sneaky about it like everyone else. A girl had come in and was working out that had huge boobs. They definitely were too big for her frame. She was taller than me, maybe 5'9" and a bit heavier. She was toned, fit, and looked fantastic I had to admit, especially her breasts, they were inordinately huge on her. Some might say she looked like a circus freak, and I LOVED how she looked with those breasts. Ever since I can remember I wanted big breasts and was always jealous of the women that had them. Even though I was a small C cup then and my confidence had sky rocketed, I was jealous of her. I don't know why I have always been like that but I have been. I remember being 4 and seeing a woman in the grocery store that had big breasts and being mesmerized, ever since then I've had this desire.
It is true that [almost] all women hate each other deep down and want to be more attractive than everyone else. I definitely started feeling that looking at her. I stopped and thought about it though, theres plenty of men around. She probably had a boyfriend anyway. And there were definitely a lot of great looking guys here. I avoided the womens only gyms for that reason. I know I'm shallow but I enjoy it.
I was still transfixed on this girl. I noticed that she even had 2 sports bras on! That was just unreal that she needed 2! I finally snapped out of my stare and went back to my routine. And decided to do a bit more and try to catch the girl with the boobs in the locker room. I had no idea why but I wanted to actually meet her. Probably somewhere down deep I just wanted a better look, who am I kidding I wasn't looking at her I was ogling her as much as the guy were. That was a new feeling, I never considered myself Bi but still this desire was there.
She put her weights up and headed for the locker room and I did the same. Turning the corner I scanned the locker room for her. There she was at her locker in the same aisle mine was in, thankfully or trying to talk to her would have been odd. Walking down to my locker trying not to stare I unlocked it and was desperately trying to think of something to say. As she undressed to go to the gym showers I watched as she peeled off the skin tight yoga pants that hugged her every curve and left nothing to the imagination. I finally got the courage to say something, opened my mouth and had no idea what to say. Out of no where I said "Hi, I'm Sarah, I haven't seen you here before."
"Hello I'm Jamie." she said with a smile revealing a mouth full of prefect teeth and whitened to the point I swear you could use them for an emergency signal beacon.
"New here?" I asked, having to repeat the question. This always annoys me, and that made me less nervous.
"Not really, I just come in when I can, it's usually early in the mornings."
"Oh cool, I've been here just a few weeks and recognize most all of the after work crew."
She smiled as she continued to undress. She started to work on getting those sports bras off her massive breasts. I could tell it was a struggle as they were already straining to hold them in.
"2 of them?" "Wow." I blurted.
"Yes hon I don't want to jiggle or fall out in the gym." she laughed.
"So may I ask about them? If its not too forward or prying." I froze, what the fuck just came out of my mouth!?
"Sure. I'm actually glad you said something and asked. Usually I just get stared at and whispered about." she said with a chipper tone.
