Sarahs Journey Ch 017

017 Holy Shit! How much of that was inside me!?

As I thought about Russ and our date this past weekend I realized that even though he wasn't really stimulating me I was still turned on the whole time. Even thinking back to it would get me wet.

I got home Wednesday after work and had, had a pretty decent day, nothing blew up at work and no other problems, it was unusual. I settled in and got a glass of wine. Decompressing I checked to see if there was anything decent on. I landed on the Simpsons and that was the speed I was looking for.

After a couple of episodes and starting my 3rd glass of wine, I thought about my oral toy. I hand't used it much since I was able to get it past my pharynx but never thought about getting more than the tip in my throat. I went and got it, then went back to the front room. I took it and put a small bit of lube on the tip, then gently worked it in my mouth and slowly eased the tip into my esophagus. I pulled it out slowly and pushed my throat open with it again just until I felt the tip slip past as my muscles closed on the shaft after being pushed open by it's head. I continued this for a while, at least half a Simpsons episode, that I was trying to pay attention to so maybe I wouldn't have to concentrate on this so much.

I was feeling pretty comfortable so far. I took a couple of gulps of wine and put the toy back in. I slipped the head just inside my throat and left it there. I had to concentrate but was able to breathe through my nose like this, good I thought. It had only been maybe 10 seconds and I was still feeling fine, still breathing ok, gag reflex didn't twinge, throat felt fine. I took it out and my throat muscles closed as normal but they definitely felt different. I took a drink of wine and swallowing felt different.

I worried about my muscles and took a break, but after maybe 2 minutes they felt normal again.

I decided to practice some more. I was on my 5th Simpsons episode and 4th glass of wine. Sticking the toy back in my mouth I pressed at the back and it just slipped right into my throat with almost no effort. I wasn't sure if this was good or bad. I then took a breath and pushed more of it into my throat. I could feel the texture of the veins on its shaft as they slid past my pharynx and into my esophagus. I had moved maybe another 1" in, then I moved that back and forth like it was fucking my throat. Then another 1" and I felt it press against the curve of my neck and wasn't able to get around that very well.

I thought about this for a second, and tilted my head back to straighten out my throat and it slid in about another 1" almost effortlessly. I was surprised at this and was expecting to not be able to have something about 3" down my throat.

I took it out and had another big gulp of wine and I was pretty toasty now. I laid on my couch with my head hung back off the edge and got comfortable. I put the toy in again, and again right past and into my throat. I stroked it back and forth a bit to see how that went. I felt fine and was actually liking how it felt now that it wasn't as tough to get down there. I slowly pushed more in my mouth and it kept disappearing. I could feel it just starting to go into my chest as it surprisingly easily made it's way further down. I took a couple of deep breaths and just stayed calm. I noticed my eyes weren't even watering. Easing it further I just kept feeling the texture of the veins as the went past, and loving that sensation, as well as how it felt so far in side me. For some reason that was incredibly erotic to me to know that I had something that big inside me.

I was starting to get a bit concerned about how far it was. I didn't go any further but I did spend some time stroking it back and forth. I was noticing how far my arm had to move to get it to that point, it was a pretty decent distance and I could feel it down as far as my chest cavity. But I was stroking it in and out fucking my throat with this thing. I probably kept this up for 10 minutes maybe more, I was pretty drunk at this point.

I pushed it in as far as I was comfortable with, encircled it with my hand right at my lips and pulled it all the way out in one motion. I just kept coming and coming and coming, I was legitimately surprised how much of this damn thing was in me! I got up and went to get a tape measure as I stumbled a bit on the way to my home office. I found the small tape measure that I got from some trade show. I put the tape at my fingers and then pulled it toward the tip. It measured 11"! I stood there in shock looking at this thing and how much of it I had swallowed. I don't know how long I stood there but I know the more I looked at the massive 11" that I was just throat fucking myself with, the more turned on I got.

I felt my wetness start to run down my thighs. I put the toy in the bathroom sink and grabbed for my small vibrator, this was my 3rd one as they kept wearing out. I laid down in bed and gently rubbed it over my delicate pink lips then my clitoris. The vibrations felt good as always. I was thinking about how it felt having the toy in my throat and me practically masturbating my throat with it. With that thought I came and came, and came...

I didn't squirt this time, thankfully, but I swear I had 7-8 orgasms in a row back to back. That had never happened before. Wow that was new and I loved it. I had heard women say they are multi-orgasmic but I had no idea what that really meant. I discovered how that felt and it was fantastic, it was like a machine gun just rapid firing orgasm after orgasm into me, I don't know how else do describe it.

I think this was the start of my fascination with insertion. There are thousands of fetishes, as I have learned in the past 2 years, and I wouldn't be surprised if large object insertion was one. I actually decided to look this up on the Internet. I hadn't ever watched porn or looked at it on the Internet so I wasn't sure what to expect.

After a few minutes I had previewed I don't know how many clips trying to decide what to click on.

I picked one and there was the gigantic black thing that looked like the anal plugs at the adult store.

Then a person stepped in to the frame and squirted a ton of lube on it. I swear this thing looked like it was the size of a fire plug. Straddling this giant plug they worked it into their rectum, I was shocked as they gradually went down further and further. It had to be 15-20" around, I couldn't believe it, it was like nothing I had ever seen. Then the person pushed down slower, harder, and deeper than they had in the last 4-5 minutes of the video that I couldn't look away from. About that time watching their stretched rectum that definitely didn't look like it couldn't possibly stretch open like that, they slowed at the widest part and paused. I was waiting for them to explode or be ripped in half. The persons legs started to shake and I heard a grunt as they dropped their body weight on this and it disappeared inside them!

All that was left was the suction cup on the floor. The video went on, after a few seconds they got up with this giant thing still inside their rectum. And turned toward the camera. And for the first time I saw that this person had a penis! OH my God, I had no idea guys would or even could do that! I mean I know gay people but that was beyond! And he stood up with it still inside him and walked away!

I sat there dazed and in shock. I mean I know I was sheltered and have only started to explore this portion of life but damn, I mean damn! That was incomprehensible to me. I don't judge the person for that, hey if they like it more power to 'em I say. I was just flabbergasted! That wasn't what I was expecting when I searched for insertion fetishes. I looked at a few more of the short 5-7 second previews that would play on screen. I fiddled around with search terms and finally got a video that had "deep" in its title.

I thought that this might be more of what I was looking for. I played this one and waited, after a few seconds a person walked in to frame. This was a female this time, and I was a bit more eager to see what she did. She was pretty, thin, with small breasts, probably a B cup. After using a vibrator for a minute she inserted it into her rectum. I was expecting vaginal penetration but anal seemed to be the popular orifice for this particular fetish.

The girl reached out of frame and came back with a bottle of lube. Ok expected. Then she reached off camera again and pulled out this gigantic dildo that was so big it flopped over and bent under it's own weight. I again was shocked! This thing wasn't nearly as wide as the last videos toy, I'd say probably 6-7" around I guess. But it was long like my toy I use for oral practice. She lubed up this thing. I was getting excited and wanted to see how this went. She positioned it and slowly pushed it in to her, stretching her right open. But she had it in her ass. I continued to watch as she worked this in and out of her. She would stop and get more lube to put on this thing that looked like a floppy blue tree trunk. She was not struggling or anything it didn't seem, she moves so easily and naturally just reaching over for the lube and even sitting up slightly. I couldn't believe it, there had to be 12" up inside her. She turned on her side and started again working this in and out of her. After another 2-3 minutes of this she had maybe ¾ of it in her. I swear it looked 3ft long when she got it initially now there was maybe 6" of this thing that took her 2 hands to get around it.

About that time she turned toward the camera as she was masturbating with this, and I could see the bulge in her abdomen every time she put it in her. Again I was so shocked I'm not sure I was remembering to breathe. Every time she forced it in her it bulged her abdomen just below her sternum and rib cage. Every time it went in I swear the bulge on her front had to be 2-3" tall! I was waiting for an alien to burst our of her. But the whole time she seemed calm and honestly sort of bored, until she got it to bulge out her front and then she started to look like she was really enjoying it.

I had to wonder if huge toys like that would effect how sex was for her. I mean if she enjoyed anal sex was it still pleasurable? Because you'd have to get an elephant to find a penis that big that wasn't silicone. I wondered this about me now. If I got used to guys that were bigger than others would I still enjoy it? I didn't want to get stretched out like that and have a guy feel like he's fucking a jar of mayonnaise. This lead to more searching.

Reading through some blog posts about this, women say that they returned to normal usually the next day. That was a relief to me! It's not like I could handle anything that big anyway, even a single finger would be stimulating for me, as I had discovered.

After seeing that and what people were able to do I searched for deep throat videos. After fumbling through several searches, I landed on a girl that would swallow balloons, like the ones clowns use to make animals with. She was pretty also, long dark hair, slim with breasts to match. She talked a bit, I wasn't paying attention. Then she started to put this balloon in her mouth, I was impressed as it looked almost twice as wide as my toy. But she pushed it in just fine. When she grabbed it and pushed in a second time I saw her throat bulge out a huge amount. I don't even know how to describe it but you could see the lump that was the balloon forcing and stretching her esophagus open to what looked twice it's size.

She kept feeding more and more of this balloon into her. She had markers every foot, that was a surprise. She could swallow enough of that, that she measured it in feet!? But she kept going at a pace that wasn't exactly slow but not overly quick either and it just kept going, 2', then 3', then 4'. At that point I was starting to think it was faked somehow, as she still kept going, 5', then 6', and the 6' marker disappeared into her mouth as well, I was just sitting there with my mouth open in shock and awe. She finally slowed down and looked like she was starting to struggle, she moved her head side to side a bit and gyrated her hips some as she bent forward and back slightly a few times. The camera backed out a bit and you could see the lump in her stomach! Again I was looking closely as my brain just wouldn't believe it! She turned sideways again and pushed even more in her mouth and slowly came to a stop. She pulled out a marker, closed her lips around it, and made a mark.

The thing came out much faster than it went in. In just a few seconds she had it out of her and as she did her tummy started receding and returned to flat like before she started, then I saw her throat close back up to it's normal size. After that the last foot came back out of her mouth. She measured from the mark she made back to the 6ft line, +6". She had swallowed 78" or 6 ½ feet of balloon. I just sat there not knowing what to think. But I was definitely wet!

After seeing that I wasn't worried about my toy and trying to swallow more of it. It is 22" long and I was able to get half of it down my throat pretty easily. I was going to manage all of it in my throat. It was almost like a challenge, like climbing a mountain. I felt this almost compulsion to accomplish this now.

I swore to my self that something was wrong with me. No one else I know has these types of desires or fetishes. Obviously some do because they're out there. This was such a change for me that I couldn't help but ruminate about my marriage and wonder if I would still be like this if Brandon had been more sexual over all those years. Over my entire 20's that were wasted, sexually that is. Was this 15 years of pent up sexual frustration and dissatisfaction? Was this how it manifested in me? I seriously considered calling a therapist about this. They have support groups, I checked.

But the thing was that this wasn't interfering with anything else in my life. Work, house chores, shopping, this wasn't effecting any of it. With the exception of knocking Twinkies off a display that is. None of my activities were causing problems, and these encounters were not frequent, there would be weeks in between. And I didn't have uncontrollable behaviors to go and get this kind of attention.

Yes I masturbated a lot, but that's not part of my concern, it's not performing sex acts in a public park. It's not having 3 guys fondle, and finger me on a beach while I jerked all 3 of them off. Masturbation wasn't part of my fear here. Thinking how much I have changed in 2 years, I went from a wall flower that no one even noticed to this crazy life style and events. Through all this worry and concern I was still loving it and didn't feel guilty at all. I just didn't want it to become like a drug addiction, and cause problems at work or in other parts of my life that weren't centered around sex.

I promised myself that if it did start to effect my work life or any other part of my life I would call a therapist.