035 Was this the Monday from Heaven or Hell?
Drying off and putting my sports bra back on and some shorts I went to the living room and cleaned up the few condom wrappers that didn't get put in the trash, picked up all the towels and started them in the washing machine. The place looked like a complete wreck but in reality it only took maybe 5 minutes to clean up. I dreaded the kitchen though, it always got the messiest as I used it a lot. But as I went in there looking to clean it up, my guys had done a really good job! Everything was done, dishes, counters, hell even the stove was cleaned.
The floor in the kitchen didn't get cleaned but that was fine and in my opinion would be too much to ask, after all they're not a cleaning service they're friends that I like to have fun with. I called out to my digital assistant [DA] to start the Roomba and let it do it's job. I got my clothes arranged in the closet for the week ahead. Yes I have a space in my closet that I hang my clothes I intend to wear for the week so that I don't have to think about it early in the morning when I'm getting dressed. I just grab them in order, left to right and away I go. It's sort of an Albert Einstein thing, which is where I got the idea, except I actually have different things I wear and not just an identical outfit over and over.
I grabbed a huge gym bottle of water and sat down on the couch. I needed to re-hydrate after the weekend and especially all the alcohol I drank. Watching the TV I fell asleep on the couch. I woke up a couple of hours later, it was 1900. Hell I needed the sleep and I knew it. Feeling more relaxed I flipped channels on the TV. It amazed me, 9 million channels and maybe 4 actually had anything good on them. I settled on the Fail Army channel as it was mindless and I didn't have to think, which is relaxing as at work that's all I do all day is deal with customers, management, and technical problems.
As I sat there after about 15 minutes I kept thinking about the weekend that was ending and everything that had happened. Just thinking about it kept me in a state of constant arousal. I wanted something to do that was sexually related but my vagina was starting to hurt a bit and felt like it was swelling. Like when you take a paint ball to your head at close range. and you get a lump. Yes I like going and playing paint ball. I play a couple of times a month, and since the gigantic implants it's much more difficult. Not only the weight I have to carry around, but they stick out so damn far that I can't hardly shoot from cover unless it's cover that I stand up over. Every time I try to shoot from the side and have to lean left or right the damn things stick out so far that I get shot in the tit most of the time. So I'm now the one that hangs back and either manages a lane or is the sniper. And let me tell you trying to manage a paint ball gun with a 22" barrel isn't exactly easy.
The soreness of my vagina was very obvious to me and while it hurt it was turning me on because it reminded of me of it became sore. This was actually getting uncomfortable I was getting so turned on. I still can't believe me, after all the sex that was almost constant for the last 2 days I was still turned on. I needed to let my vagina recover even though it was sore I still felt like I wanted more. After about 15 minutes of this I decided to get my long toy I taught myself to deep throat with.
I still used this at least 2 times a week because I like it and I like the idea of being able to deep throat a guy. James and Mike, my guys, weren't so long that I could really deep throat them, just a bit of their cock heads actually went into my throat. But it was enough I could swallow and my muscles grabbed them and they really reacted to that.
Giving it a quick wash as I always do I went back to the couch and watched Fail Army while I slowly pressed my throat muscles open with the long toy and stroked it in my throat never pulling the top out of my throat, but repeatedly stroking my throat with it in and out. I wasn't using much of it, which is open for interpretation as it is 22" long, but I was maybe pushing and pulling probably 11-12" in and out. I could feel it pressing against the back of my throat as it bent and curved to make the turn created by my throat to get it pointed down my esophagus. I tried to think of this as a massage but it did actually make my throat sore if I did it too much and then I basically had a sore throat. Way not good.
I only did this for maybe 20-30 minutes. Besides it's not like a real penis that's hard would bend like this does. To keep from having a sore throat I slowly pushed almost all of it down my throat all the while sitting on the couch and watching TV. I consciously had to think about just keeping my throat muscles relaxed and just let it sit there holding them open unlike their normal state of closed. I was holding on to the shaft just below the top at the other end and concentrating on keeping calm and my throat relaxed, while I had probably 18-19" of this thing down my throat. I swear I could feel it sitting on the opening that led to my stomach.
Authors note:
Yes I know this sounds unrealistic and very far fetched but this is how I have become since my divorce and having a very repressed sex life for so long.
I sat there for probably 20 minutes just holding this toy in my mouth. While having to keep a towel handy for the drool that it was causing. This caused me to wonder how I'd do trying to swallow with a shaft holding my throat open and not just the top of a cock that would get squeezed backwards when I did.
I got up and walked to the bathroom, leaving my training toy in place with only holding on to the shaft behind the tip with my teeth. It was an interesting sensation contracting my abdominal muscles to get up. Not to mention the sensation of walking with something all the way down your esophagus. I'm still not sure if it feels good or not, it's really impossible to explain it seems.
Pulling it out of my mouth like a magician performing a trick, except with a lot of saliva. I spit in the sink and rinsed the toy off. I took a couple of drinks of water and rested a minute or so. I stood in front of the mirror, took a few deep breaths and inserted the toy back in my throat. I just put the tip in as I did when I was first learning to do this. Holding the rest of the toy still watching myself in the mirror I closed my eyes relaxed, took a deep breath and contracted my throat muscles like I was swallowing.
With the shaft only having so much give to it I felt my muscles press on it. It hurt and I gagged. I gagged again. I lurched for the toilet as my throat rejected what I had tried to do, as it forced the toy back out, I threw up in the toilet.
With eyes watering and nose running I cleaned my face up and flushed. Standing back up I rinsed my mouth out at the sink as well as the toy.
Ok that wasn't the best experience. But now I had a goal. There is something about having to do something that I want to do despite how weird it might be. I was going to do this again. This had to be some sort of disorder I thought. Ya there was something definitely wrong with me to obsess about not only this but everything sexual it seemed. Jesus, why didn't I take up quilting or something more normal to obsess over?
Once again, I forced my throat open and felt the top pop past and my muscles clamp down on the shaft. Again with the calm deep breathes, I tried to swallow again. While this hurt it caused my vagina to tingle. Again I had to head for the toilet, as I threw up again. Rinse and repeat, literally.
I did this probably 8-10 more times. Every time having to kneel over the toilet until there was nothing left in my stomach and I just dry heaved. This was really tough. But how many women could do this I thought. Also thinking, why was I so obsessed with this?
I was actually sweating by now I guess vomiting took a lot of energy. I wiped my face off and went to the kitchen. Refilling my gym bottle with water I took a drink, wow that hurt. I guess that made sense if you over work a muscle that's not used to it, it will be sore. Pausing to think about this for a few seconds I thought, you know I have ice packs to stick in my vagina, basically, why not my throat? I mean they're clean and sanitized.
Grabbing a cooling insert I use for my vagina I ran a bit of water over it to warm just the surface so it didn't freeze my saliva. Like sticking your tongue to a frosty pole in the winter. I then slid it into my mouth and past the back of my throat. It slid in really easily as it was very smoothly tapered and not nearly as wide. Being only 7" long not much went past the back of my throat, which was all I needed. Besides I didn't want to lose the thing in my esophagus and not be able to get it out, and choke to death.
It felt great, it was cool and soothing. Gently stroking it in and out my throat began to feel much better, still sore but not like it was. A few minutes later still standing in the kitchen, I cleaned it off, and put it back in the freezer.
Leaning against the counter there I was thinking about how to pull this off. Yes it's a fucked up obsession, I know.
Authors note:
