This is my first story, any feedback would be appreciated.
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Jim sat at the bar talking on the phone with his girlfriend. She tended to call him a lot; she often felt insecure and needed to be reassured by Jim every once in a while. Jim had begun to get tired of her needy behaviour. He tried not to let her know, but he couldn't control himself from desiring other women anymore.
He resumed sipping his beer after he hung up. They had got into a heated argument about him not spending enough time with her. All he felt was resentment, she behaved quite childishly. All she seemed to like was shopping and bitching about her friends. He'd gotten sick of it and gone to have a drink instead of meeting her at a party as she had planned. His irritation began to lessen from the buzz. He resigned himself to taking in more of the alcohol to dull his senses.
He didn't notice at first, but a girl was staring at him from across the bar. He thought he was imagining things, but her gaze never shifted. He began to notice how drop-dead gorgeous she was. She had an athletic build. She was young like him. He was quite handsome himself, but it was still strange to get such attention from her. She wore a revealing black top with a cut, through which her ample bosom was visible. It didn't do much to hide her flat midriff either. His eyes were drawn to her long legs that emerged from a very short pink miniskirt that had ridden even further up her thigh, to give him a good view of her black lace panties.
At that moment she stood up and walked toward him. He was mesmerized by the way her blonde locks swayed in the air. She stopped near him and took the seat next to his, all the while continuing to make eye contact. A whiff of her perfume made his nostrils flare; her natural scent must have intermingled with it to create such a tantalizing aroma. As he came back to his senses he saw her full lips move as she spoke to him.
"Are you here alone?" she asked with a casual tone. "Yeah I am, and sorry for staring. I'd blame it on the beer, but you look spectacular."
"Oh, I don't mind, I came here looking for fun, I'm glad I grabbed your attention. I enjoy the eyes of handsome men." She leaned in as she said the last sentence. "I'm Valerie by the way."
"Jim," he said with a smile. She put a hand to his cheek, "You're not going to ignore my advances are you?" She brought her face even closer, "Let's go someplace I can jump your bones." He saw her lick her lips seductively as she said this, it delayed his reaction. The view of her moist cleavage didn't help matters.
"I... I have a girlfriend," he managed to say. She moved her face closer. "I don't care, I want you." There was a thirst in her voice. The heat emanating from her proximity seemed to demolish his inhibitions. At that point all he could think of was, tasting every square inch of her body. He felt her hand on his lap, edging its way to his manhood, as if to claim her prize. He was warm putty in her hands now.
He found himself walking out of the bar, led by her hand, eyes transfixed on her behind, as it swayed from side to side. They got into her blue BMW. As she drove he began to get sober again. It wasn't too long a drive. They arrived at her apartment, not too far from where he lived he realized. She led him to the bedroom of her plush apartment. He lay on her bed as she went to the attached bathroom. He felt his phone vibrate, and looked at the screen after fishing it out of his pocket.
