Save the Turtles 01
Well, you may have heard before that Mrs. Bentley fills every single Saturday evening with a reception at the Civic Center or at a festival before and you may have heard that Mrs. Bentley uses literally any excuse to fill a glass with the bubbly and all of it is true.
"[Clink, clink, clink] raise a toast everyone [hic] to our fund raiser to dig a tunnel under the Strip [hic] to allow the cute little turtles safe passage to the river [hic] from the grassy swamp area to the east, toast!"
[Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, hooray, clink, hic, hip, hip, clink, hic]
And you may have also heard that Mrs. Bentley takes attendance, so, hello there, I'm Jack, I'm 24 and I've been on enough lists in my life, so, I attend most of the receptions. And I didn't know it then, but I ended up being on another list that night and it was quite a list to be on!
"Psst, talk to me under the upper-level stairway, Jack, okay?"
Ahh, the soft lover's lane of the Civic Center! And with my neighbor, Mrs. Twill, looking like that in her evening gown, so, okay!
[Two people quietly slip under the staircase and wiggle around for room because they are late]
"Mm, mm, mm, Mrs. Twill, don't you look amazing tonight!
"[Sigh] thanks, Jack, but listen, the reason I wanted to talk to you in somewhat private is because I need some help in a couple of days with a little furniture re-arrangement in my living room [sigh], so?"
Oh, I've been in Mrs. Twill's house and she lives in a magazine cover! Me, LOL, my house is decorated more like a wadded up back page of a magazine, but not Mrs. Twill's place!
"[Sip] which is a ridiculous thing for you to say, Mrs. Twill, unless there are new fads out there in living room furniture [sip], so?"
[The gap closes]
"[Sigh] oh, I mean, I need to make room for a new rocking chair so I have a comfortable place to use my over the hill knitting needles and balls of yarn [sigh], so?"
[Boobs smash a little bit to reduce the gap even further]
"[Sip, sip] now, Mrs. Twill, I think you're jumping the gun a little bit, so, why don't you..."
[Smash the gap!]
"And maybe a spindle machine, do you think my living room has room for a spindle machine, Jack?"
Well, um...
"Sorry [sigh and smash more.]"
Like you would leave that situation!
[Boink! Boink! Boink!]
"Oh, I see that I have your full attention now, Jack, so here's my dilemma. Myself and a couple of my lady friends have come to realize that the Line Dance Club is a disappointment [sigh] by the end of the night, like spaghetti noodle disappointment and we're worried about going to other clubs over being labelled [sigh] as Cougars, which the gossip club would have a field day with, so, there are three ladies out there looking for other solutions, Jack, so [sigh]?"
[Push, grind, push, grind, push, grind]
"[Sip, sip, ahh] well, I still think you're jumping the gun a little bit, Mrs. Twill and I'm not even sure that they make spindle machines anymore [sip, sip, burp], but have you and your lady friends considered hosting or attending private house parties, um, although, um, I guess someone would need to have control of the invitee list for that [sip, sip], so, um, I'm at a loss..."
"Oh, I have a list of names, Jack and that list is currently tucked away in my evening gown bra and if you have the nerve right now, you have a green light to dig said list out, you know, since your name is on the list already, so?"
LOL, like you wouldn't!
"[Grope, feel around, squeeze, grope, search, OMG, slip, pinch, grope, dig around, pinch] um, I guess I'm out of practice, Mrs. Twill because I cannot find the paper list of names anywhere in your bra, so [but sill continues to search around]?"
"[Panting hard from being felt up] that's because the list is hidden in my undies under my evening gown because you're really on the list, Jack and you have another free pass to walk us upstairs to the upper level and grope around down there, so?"
Like you wouldn't!
[Clump up the stairs, booty pat, clump, boner squeeze, clump, grip the hips, clump, submitting]
"[Mwah] use the slit in my evening gown to your advantage, Jack."
"[Slit slip, squish, squish] nope, there's no list in your undies, Mrs. Twill [squish, squish, squish], so?"
"[Panting extra hard] Jack, I just want you to know that Millie and Martha won't let me asterisk your name on our list since we live so close together, so, OMG, that feels amazing, Jack, so, um, fuck me right now in the office and keep quiet about us fucking, okay?"
No!
LOL!
"[Panting heavily over the office desk] my evening gown is full length, aha, aha, aha, so, aha, aha, aha, you can cream pie me, Jack!"
No!
LOL!
[Thump, pump, thump, pump, slap, slap, slap, cream pie is the best pie! Argh, argh, argh, ooh, ahh!]