Secret Keeper Ch 03

Wendy walked me to my car when it was time for me to leave. When we got to the car, wanting in the worse way to see each other really soon, we set another coffee date for Monday night. Then she reached up around my neck and pulled my head down to meet her and we locked in another one of those incredibly erotic kisses that made me feel the boom of the fireworks.

As we held the kiss and our tongues explored and teased each other, we pulled closer. She could hardly help but feel the bulge in my pants. "Some day soon I hope to attend to your stiffness," she whispered to me as our lips released each other. She was completely clueless as to the initial cause of the erection. But then again, after holding this beautiful woman in my arms in such a loving embrace - the women who very well may be the woman of my dreams - I too was oblivious to the initial cause of my erection. For I was completely focused on Wendy.

The initial cause of the erection was Wendy's eighteen year old daughter Raelene. Better known as Rae, I had learned just a week earlier that she had been harboring a crush on me for some time. But I learned it as Rae made some irresistible advances on me.

As a school psychologist, I had been counseling Rae for a couple years, helping her through a drinking issue when she was a skinny pre pubescent fifteen year old. Each week she would come to my office, I would ask her if she'd had anything to drink that week, she would say "no", and then we would talk for a while about whatever was on her mind.

After that night, however, those weekly visits stopped. She had a standing appointment each week. But for the next two months, when that appointment came up, my secretary would come into my office and say, "Rae had a test today so she couldn't keep her appointment, but she sent this note."

And the note had always said the same thing: "No, I did not have a drink this week. See you next week."

Normally, I wouldn't worry about such a thing. After all, most seniors did not want to bother with seeing the school shrink during their last two months of high school. But I knew Rae was pretty upset with me. She made it very clear to me that she did not want me seeing her mother. But at the same time, I was kind of glad that she wasn't coming to see me. Because I was (and still am) absolutely crazy about her mother.

Wendy and I saw each other at least two or three times a week during those two months - sometimes as much as four or five times a week. We continued to grow closer and closer.

We would meet for coffee or for a drink and talk about everything. No subject was off limits and both of us felt completely comfortable sharing everything with each other.

One night we were talking about our divorces. My wife had divorced me after only four years of marriage. "She was pretty materialistic," I told Rae. "She wanted more than a school psychologist was going to be able to give her. So she left. I loved her and miss her, but it would have happened eventually. She wanted a lifestyle, not a husband."

"Marty left me because he couldn't deal well with the truth," Rae told me. "We had ten wonderful years of marriage until my dad died. After that I felt like I had to be fully open with him about Rae."

"As you know, Marty and I were just kids when we got married. He was 19 and I was 16 when we got married. After ten years, when I was 26, I felt it was time to have another child so we began to talk about it. 'But I think before we expand our family I need to share something from my past with you,' I told him."

"Marty sat there with a stunned look on his face while I told him a secret that I had never revealed to anyone. My mother died shortly after my sixteenth birthday. My father, a pastor at a local church, was grief stricken. For months he would sit in the house and stare aimlessly out the window, or pace the hallway. When he was washing dishes, sometimes he would spend 15 minutes scrubbing one single plate, lost in thought, paying very little attention to what he was doing. My little sister, Robin, and I had no idea what to do for him."

"One night I came home from a school dance and I found him lying on his bed sobbing. 'O Daddy,' I said to him as I lay down on the bed by him and pulled his arms around me so we could cuddle like when I was a little girl. 'We miss mommy too, but we'll get through this together. We talked for a long time that night about mom - about the many things we missed about her. Eventually we fell asleep."

"Then during the night, I woke to feel something strange pressing against me. Then a hand reached up my skirt and pulled my panties to the side. 'Daddy! What are you doing?' I said shocked and terrified."

"'Don't fight it honey,' he said to me. 'Stop it Daddy,' I said and tried to get up. But he wrapped is strong arms around me and held me down. He placed his hand over my mouth to muffle my protests and forced himself inside of me. It was over rather quickly but to me it seemed like an eternity. Physically it hurt terribly, but the emotional blow from the violation and betrayal was much more damaging. When he finally let up on his hold on me, I wriggled away and went and locked myself into my room for three days."

"Oh my gosh, Wendy, you must have been devastated," I said, riveted to her story.

"I was," she said. "But even worse, this happened while I was ovulating. And sure enough, two weeks later I bought a pregnancy test and it came up positive."

"So what did you do?" I asked, expecting to hear about an abortion.

"I got married," she said rather matter of factly.

"What?" I said stunned.

"Marty and I got married. We were crazy about each other. And for a long time Marty had been trying to convince me to do more than the kissing and heavy petting we would do every chance we got. But I would always tell him that I was saving myself for marriage. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, we were alone at his parents house having one of our juicy necking sessions. 'Wendy, I want to make love to you,' he said to me as he tried to sneak his hand under my shirt."

"'Marry me,' I said to him. And then I convinced him that I didn't want to wait two more years and that he had a good job and could support us. I told him I could convince my dad to give me permission and that we could elope the next week. And we did."

"Your dad didn't object?" I asked.

"Oh, he tried to at first. But I had all the cards. I told him I was pregnant. And I told him that he would either sign the paper giving me permission to get married or I would let his congregation know what he had done to me. And I also threatened to spill the beans if I ever have any inkling that he laid a hand on my little sister Robin."

"So Marty and I eloped and eight months later, Raelene was born."

"So you were married and had a baby when you were 16 years old?" I said. "That could not have been an easy way to start a marriage."

"Actually, it wasn't a problem at all. We were too young to know what an uphill battle we had. And besides, we truly were in love. Those first years were marvelous. Marty worked for his dad as an electrician and I finished high school and then got my nurses degree by going to night school at community college until Rae turned five then I transferred to university."

"At 23 years old I was making a good salary as a nurse and Marty was making plans to buy his dad's business. Rae was the love of our lives. We bought my parents old house when my dad moved to an apartment. Life was actually great. I didn't think anything could come between us."

I know there has to be a 'but' coming here," I said, "Otherwise we wouldn't be sitting here holding hands and pouring our hearts out to one another."

"Yeah, there is," Wendy continued. "Even though I forgave my dad, the consequences of his sin weren't complete."

"You were able to forgive your dad?" I said shocked.

"Oh, that wasn't hard. It took a while. And I was really angry for quite some time. But that anger turned to pity when I watched how it affected him. You see, he never forgave himself. His guilt drove him into a deep depression and ultimately resulted in a breakdown. He had to give up his position as pastor. To compound things, mom always took care of the finances. In his depression he mismanaged his money. Just two years later, he was broke and jobless."

"So I get the pity," I said. "But how were you able to forgive him?"

"Well, I had an Epiphany while sitting in my first college psychology class. The professor said that something like 75% of unforeseen indiscretions and mental breakdowns in adults are due to unresolved grief. I realized at that point that what daddy had done was simply an inappropriate acting out of his grief. He had never abused me previously and as far as I know never laid a hand on my little sister Robin either before or after that. It was a momentary thing. And it was a couple years earlier. I let it go. And I released my dad from my anger. Understanding it did not excuse it or make it alright, it just let me move on.

"But that did not help daddy any. I tried to tell him that I forgave him. But whenever I would broach the subject it would send him into another deep depression. I may have forgiven him, but he never forgave himself. It was so bad that he could hardly spend time with me or Rae. It was so sad."

"When he died, the doctors told us some physical reason for his death. But I knew better. He died of a broken heart. He was grief stricken for my mother whom he loved dearly, and he was guilt stricken for what he had done to me, who he also loved dearly."

"Wow, I can't tell you how much I admire your courage and compassion Wendy," I told her, my heart all aflutter for this woman.

"Well, I learned much in that first college psychology course. It was also in that course that I learned that women usually choose mates that are much like their fathers and men choose mates that are much like their mothers. Marty was like my father in the sense that he also was unable to forgive."

"What did he do?" I asked, assuming he had committed a terrible indiscretion liker her father had.

"Oh, his problem was that he could not forgive my father," she said. "Like I said I didn't tell him any of this until after my father had died. When he heard the story of what my dad did, he got angry at him - really angry. When he heard that Rae was not his biological child, he got angry at me - really angry. Ten years of marriage and two years of dating and I'd never seen this side of him."

"Did he start to abuse you?" I asked.

"Oh no, nothing like that. But he would wallow in his anger the same way that my dad would wallow in his guilt. He couldn't look at Rae anymore without feeling anger toward my dad. And even though I had never been dishonest with him or kept any other secrets from him, he lost all sense of trust for me. He was almost paranoid that there were other deep dark secrets that I was hiding from him."

"To his credit, he tried hard to work through it. He went to counselors for himself. We went to marriage counselors. He continued to fulfill his fatherly obligations and rarely missed a dance recital or tee ball game or school play that Rae was in. But he never could forgive my father for what he did to me nor me for keeping it from him all those years.

"Finally as a change, he took a job as an electrician in the oil fields up in North Dakota. He would come home only one weekend a month. During those weekends he was more pleasant than he had been in years. And then one Friday when he was supposed to be coming home he called me and said, 'Rae, I'm not coming home.'"

"I didn't understand what he meant and said, 'Well, I'll see you next month then.'"

"'No,' he said to me, 'I'm not coming home... ever.'"

"'Oh,' I said and dropped the phone. I just sat there and cried for the next two hours. Rae came home from her play practice to find me crying, the sound of the dial tone still coming from the phone receiver lying on the ground. I didn't have to say a word to her, she instinctively knew what had happened. She just put her arms around me and kept saying, 'Don't worry mom, we'll be ok.' She is such an awesome daughter."

"She is a very special young lady," I said to Wendy, for the moment forgetting the recent interactions between Rae and I. "How did she react when she found out that Marty isn't her father."

"She doesn't know," said Wendy. "There are only two people who know besides me: daddy and Marty. And now you're the third. You can't tell Rae about any of this. If there comes a time that she needs to know, I will tell her."

"I won't say a word," I said. "Your secret is safe with me." I felt very honored to be trusted with such a secret, especially when it didn't go very well with the other two men who knew this secret.

"That was nearly three years ago," Wendy continued. "I really did love Marty. I think I still do. I don't think a day has gone by when I didn't wake up with a bit of sorrow that he is not lying in my bed next to me."

There was a bit of an awkward silence after that. After all, the woman I was falling in love with just told me that she still loved her ex husband.

"Let me rephrase that last statement," Wendy said. "Until the last two weeks, I don't think there was day that went by like that. But since we've been seeing each other Ian, I wake up and long to have you lying there beside me. I am falling hard and fast for you. Now instead of having sorrow in the morning, I have hope for the future. And that hope always includes you. And right now, I'm hoping this is not sounding like too much too fast because the last thing I want to do is scare you off."

"Oh no, not at all," I said completely relieved. "I feel the same way Wendy. These last few weeks I've thought of little else other than you. I am crazy about you. There's never been anyone who I've been able to open up to as much as you. I never believed much in the idea of soul mates, but I've been reconsidering my position on that recently." After a brief pause, "Now it's my turn to ask if I've come on too strong."

"No," she said. "In fact, if we weren't in a public place right now, I would probably be throwing myself at you. You, Mr. Zelman, are the most wonderful man I think I've ever met." And then, public place or not, she leaned over, put her arms around my neck and pulled me forward. Our lips met and I became completely oblivious to the people around us. The kiss was passionate and loving. My heart raced like it never had. There was a stirring in my loins, but again, different than it had ever been. Instead of pure lust, this stirring came from a wonderful combination of physical attraction and emotion. I remember thinking that I had discovered for the first time what perfection was like.

When our lips finally parted, our faces stayed close and we just gazed into each other's eyes. It's as if we were soaking up each other's soul into our own. Those around us probably thought we had just got engaged, or at least that we had professed our love to each other for the first time. Neither of those actually happened, but they might as well have. For we certainly jumped onto a new path together at that moment.

I finally broke the solemnness of the gaze when I spoke up. "Wait a minute," I said, "it was about three years ago that this happened? That was the same time that Rae started coming to see me in the counseling office," I said, suddenly making a connection between her drinking and her dad leaving.

"Yeah, she told me she had talked to you about her dad leaving," Wendy said.

"Is that what she said?" I replied and then caught myself before I almost slipped and let out the secret about Rae's drinking issues. That would have been a huge ethical faux pas. But man, I hated keeping a secret from Wendy. I wanted to share everything with her.

"Yeah, she couldn't say enough about how you helped her through things," Wendy said.

Most all of our dates were like this. They didn't always include such a huge sharing of confidence, but they were always marked with the most intimate conversations in which I'd ever been involved. We disagreed with love and respect and we agreed with passion and fervor. Our bond grew so strong that the days we were not able to meet face to face, we would spend at least a half hour on the phone.

After every date, I would walk or drive her back to her house. But always we would find Rae there, who would very subtly - at least as far as Wendy was concerned - come between me and her mother. She always seemed to want to talk to the two of us, play a game, watch a movie, or even have me help her with her homework. The result was that Wendy and I never had alone time when we could be physically intimate with the exception of when she would walk me to the gate or to my car. It was then that we would connect with one of those mind boggling kisses and sneak an occasional feel of each other - she of my penis which usually popped to attention as soon as our lips met, and me to her beautiful and perfectly proportioned C - maybe D - cup breasts.

"Someday soon we'll have time alone together," she would tell me as we said our final good byes. "And then I'll show you how I really feel."

Every time she said that, I could hardly hold myself back from cumming at that moment. Usually, as I drove off or walked away, the moment I was out of sight I would reach down and grab my cock and immediately ejaculate in my underwear. She had that kind of effect on me.

Rae, however, was the one in control. She never let us be alone for more than 10 or 15 minutes. And that was only when we were saying good bye to one another.

Finally, on the final week of school, just days before she was to graduate, Rae decided to show up for her appointment with me. "I've decided what you are going to do for me for my graduation," she announced to me as she closed the door and sat in the chair opposite my desk.

"Oh," I said rather dismissively, "is that so?"

"Yes it is," she said. "On graduation night, you're going to bring a bottle of Goldschlager to Braytontown where you'll check into the Holiday Inn Express. You'll text me the room number and I'll meet you there when I'm finished with my graduation parties that night."

"What?" I said.

"You heard me," she replied as if she were the teacher and I were the student.

"But I can't do..." I tried to argue.

But she cut me off. "Oh you can and you will," she said. "Because you see, you don't want me to tell either my principal or my mother what we did in your office."

What we "did in my office" was actually what she did. She seduced me. Using oral sex and her beautiful breasts (which I might add she inherited from her mother), she brought me to a heavenly orgasm, one which I'm pretty sure she shared with me.

"But your drinking problem," I protested.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "Just be there Saturday night, or face the consequences..."

The entire conversation made me a nervous wreck for the next couple days. What exactly did Rae have in mind? What kind of game was she playing? And more importantly, what would it do to me and Wendy? I was madly in love with Wendy. And I was pretty sure that Wendy felt the same about me.

I spent each day after that in constant turmoil, debating whether I should or should not go through with it. I wrestled in my mind what Rae would actually do if I did not show up. But at the same time, I imagined what would happen if I did go through with it - whether Rae would again illustrate her affection toward me and I would have the privilege to see and feel her firm and succulent breasts and rub my hand over those two beautiful mounds that formed her bum.

I finally decided that I had no choice. For I did not want to lose my job, nor did I want to lose Wendy, the woman of my dreams. Rae held all the cards, and I had to just play the poor hand that I had.