Karoline & Dieter are a German couple who moved onto our street during the last summer holidays, and my wife and I met them by chance within days of their arrival when we got chatting to them in the local park. Their two children are of a similar age to our twins, and so when the four of them began to run around together in the play area (despite the German kids having limited English) we were forced into small talk.
Fortunately they proved to be excellent company, and although they're a few years younger than us, the parallels between our families are numerous. Karoline and my wife Emma are both pursuing academic careers; that was what had brought them all to the UK, as Karoline is here on a three year placement to research psychology, after which they plan to return home. Meanwhile Dieter, like myself, has a job that largely involves home working, and so while he occasionally disappears for a few days on company business, it was no real problem for him to follow his wife to a different country.
We saw quite a lot of each other over the next few weeks. We were able to help them with information about getting their children into the same primary school as ours attended, and also to lend them things they might need for a few weeks while they got themselves oriented in a new country. They reciprocated with gifts of chocolate, beer, and even some theatre tickets for our family. Our children occupied themselves with 'educating' their new friends on all the things they would need to know about living somewhere new.
Since then we've continued to see each other most mornings, walking together at least part of the route to school. Dieter is always friendly, but Karoline is a really tactile individual, very open about her emotions and ready to hug or pat the arm of anyone around her at the slightest provocation. More than once I've secretly thrilled as she's wrapped me into the embrace of her tall athletic figure; she once matter of factly told us that she'd been even slimmer when younger, but that prolonged periods of breast feeding had left her with a larger chest. Then she laughed at the surprised expression on my face, and in an exaggerated German accent accused me of being a 'typical repressed Englishman.' In my defence, Dieter had been listening and looked almost as embarrassed as I presumably did.
***
Last week was half term, with schools closed for the week. For the final day we'd arranged with our new friends to all take the children out together, but the day before I got landed with attending an important Zoom meeting for work after a colleague was taken to hospital, and while it would only take a part of the morning, it ruled me out from joining the group. With more than a little annoyance, I waved my wife and family off early the next day as they headed to the train station, then went to get a shower as I had an hour to kill before I was needed.
About 20 minutes later, I got a series of texts from my wife Emma.
'So it's just me & Dieter - grr!'
'Karoline's dropped out too, she's drowning in work after taking this week off'
'She'll come round later to return the books she borrowed. Don't worry, she knows not to disturb you til after 12!'
'Make her a coffee will you? See you later x'
Well I had no plans once my meet was over, so that was all OK with me. The rest of the morning passed as expected; for a couple of hours I sat in on a dreary four way call, with only one other person actually known to me. My focus was fully on what was being said because I knew I'd need to report back afterwards, but my input wasn't much needed, and so mainly I just listened and took notes, only speaking occasionally to clarify a point. Once we were done I typed up a summary while everything was fresh in my mind, then emailed it to my line manager and logged off.
There wasn't time to consider how to fill the free afternoon I now had because as I descended the stairs from my office the doorbell rang. On the step stood Karoline, wearing a strappy, summery dress, with her long dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was carrying a tote bag and smiled broadly as I opened the door, reaching in for the kiss on the cheek that I'd now come to anticipate.
"Hey Karoline, nicely timed. Come in, won't you?"
She stepped into the house and followed me down the hall.
"Hello Daniel, heard you got left behind too. How was your morning?"
"Fine. Dull, but fine. I need a sandwich and a coffee, can I make one for you too?"
"We could, but I've brought something better."
I looked over my shoulder, and Karoline was grinning as she pulled a bottle of red wine from her bag and held it towards me.
"To thank you for the books. And because there's no more work today."
"I thought you stayed behind to catch up with stuff?"
"Ah... that was a little lie. I've had the little lieblings on my own all week until Dieter got back yesterday, and honestly I just wanted a break. I did some bits and pieces earlier, but there's nothing that can't wait until they're in bed later."
"Naughty! Two glasses then, give me a minute."
The wine and explanation were a surprise to me, but I didn't read anything into it. Karoline can be spontaneous, so it was hardly out of character. With nowhere to be and plenty of time, we sat in the dining room sipping our drinks and chatting easily. While we talked Dieter sent her a text updating us on what our families were doing for lunch, and that led our conversation into a different area.
"It's a bit different for Emma to be eating with Dieter, she often has lunch on campus with you doesn't she?"
"She does. Dieter won't be taking in much of what she's saying though, with all the children demanding attention."
"What do you chat about then? What do the women discuss when the men aren't around?"
"Well often it's about the kids as you'd expect. Work too, we specialise in different areas but Emma's quite interested in learning more about my research so I talk about that. Women are more open than men, we know more about each other."
"I went for a drink with Dieter last month."
"You did. And I asked him what you'd talked about when he got in, and all he could think to say was 'sport'. Which probably suited you both quite well actually. I'm sure I know more about your wife than you know about my husband."
"That's probably fair. Tell me all about my wife then. Give me your best hot psychologist take."
"Ha! OK. She's awesome. She's intelligent, generous, she's a great mother, she worries about being a good wife."
