I was just cruising along when I spotted the party. There were a dozen or so young women having a bit of a party at the park and being a little noisy with it. I pulled over and strolled across to check it out.
The girls had obviously had a barbecue and a few drinks. They were a little tipsy but only a little. All of them seemed to be at the happy stage and probably all of them still capable of driving. None of them had obviously had too much so I wasn't too concerned about their behaviour.
"How's it going, ladies?" I said as I came up to them.
"Is there a problem?" came the quick reply, a trifle belligerently.
"Not as far as I know," I said politely. "I just wanted to remind you that it is getting a little late and that there are other people in the nearby houses. Too much noise might be unwanted so if you could just try to keep it down a little."
"And if we don't, what'll you do? Arrest us?"
"Geez, that'd be an idea," I said with a grin. "I can just see myself trying to stack the lot of you on the back of the bike and take you in."
There were a few giggles at that. Seeing I apparently didn't mean to be officious or nosey the woman relaxed a little more.
"So what would you do?" asked one of the girls.
"I would apply some selective law enforcement," I told them.
"And just what does that fine sounding phrase mean?"
"Well it's like when you're out patrolling on the motorway. You can't pull over all the speedsters so you just grab one here and there and hope that will be a warning to the others. In this case I would just have to select one of you fine ladies and make an example of her."
"What, you'd pick one of us and give her a ticket?" came the indignant question.
"Well, if you were on the road that's how I'd handle it," I admitted. "Here, you're just having some noisy fun. If forced to it I'd pick a victim and give them a slap on the behind as a warning."
Several of the girls blinked at that, I'd said it so matter of factly. Then the unlikelihood of me doing any such thing seemed to register.
There were a series of cat calls, the ladies putting me down pretty thoroughly. I just grinned at them.
"Geez, I'd love to see it," one of the girls said, smirking. "Which one of us would you choose to chastise?"
I glanced around at them, looking them over with an interested male eye. Several of them were very attractive. I finally nodded to one of the women.
"Her. The brunette with the blue skirt," I said.
"Ha. He means you Carol," said the woman who had asked me to choose. "Why would you choose her?"
"Honestly? She has a very pretty tush fetchingly displayed in that short skirt. The shortness of the skirt means it would be easy to flip it out of the road so I could paddle the nicely rounded tush beneath."
There were some more cat calls and jeering. Carol made shushing noises with her hands.
"Tone it down a little. He might decide he's serious and it's my bottom on the line here. Not yours."
"Do it," someone yelled. "We dare you to do it."
This was quickly followed up by a chant of "do it," the girls egging each other on. Even pretty little Carol got into the act.
It is not in keeping with the majesty of the law for an officer to be seen running away from a bunch of young women. It makes people question how much they can depend on those fine men in blue. I strolled over to the table where the remains of their meal resided and sat on the bench. Looking at Carol I patted my knee and waited. Now the ball was in her court. Let her back down.
She must have had one drink too many. She actually came over to where I was sitting. I took her arm and guided her across my knee, bottom up. A bottom that was quivering in a very interesting fashion, caused by the giggling Carol was doing. I flicked her skirt up, resting my hand on her bottom.
"On a scale of one to five, how angry is the law at this offender?" I asked the girls.
"What's the difference?" one asked.
"Well, one, I'd speak very firmly to the culprit. Two, I'd smack her bottom. Three, she's acting up and I have to spank her. Four, her behaviour is reprehensible and I would have to spank her on her bare bottom. Five, we won't discuss the penalty as there are ladies present."
"Why isn't he telling us what five is?" grumbled someone.
"He's hinting that for a five he'd feel obliged to rrrravish his victim."
"Oh, my. Is ravish the same as rrrrape?"
There was a very hopeful edge to that question, I thought.