Hey all my name is Anthony. I am 6 foot tall with shaved grey hair and blue eyes. I have broad shoulders and I weigh about 15 stone. I am 47 and retired from work on health grounds. For months I wondered what to do with myself and then I remembered Literotica. About ten years ago I had done some writing and had sent them to Literotica. Much to my surprise they were published. I was so proud when I saw that first approved sign.
Sat around one day I decided to give it another go but as I was returning from a mental illness I found it difficult to concentrate. Oh I had the ideas but I had lost the skill of writing properly with diction and punctuation and kept on getting refused. I decided that I needed some help so I advertised for an editor but got no success or acceptance so I was on my own.
At the same time I also joined a chatting site in the hope that I would meet some ladies that I could chat with and maybe take out to dinner if we clicked. For the first month nothing happened and I was thinking of coming off the site when Joanne got in touch. We began to chat and eventually agreed to meet up.
On the appointed night we met for dinner and like an idiot all I did was talk about myself and ignored her completely so I was not surprised at the end of the night when she said there would not be a second date. We stayed friends and still chat to this day.
I tried again and this time I got in contact with a woman called Terri. We chatted for quite a while and she made it clear that she did not want commitment of any sort or she would run away but still I invited her to dinner but this time I cooked at home. I thought we had a lovely evening and afterwards we chatted for a few days then all of a sudden she stopped being in touch. I never pursued her but went back to the site.
Again a month passed and this time I did decide to quit the site and I started a diary on the site counting down my departure from it because I was fed up at fighting the filter system. It would appear at 47 I am either too old or too young and nothing in between. Just as my diary and my time were coming to an end June got in touch and tried to encourage me to not give up and that the right person for me was out there.
It was meant as a comforting comment but it intrigued me so I sent a message back and soon we were chatting. It became obvious to me that I was beginning to really like June. Unfortunately there was and still is a problem. She lived hundreds of miles from me and there was no chance of meeting up. We did however become friends.
I also at the same time met a fellow aspiring writer on Literotica called Babs who agreed to look at my work. We talked through things and realised that diction and punctuation were the main issue and I would have to address that if I ever wanted to get anything published again. I took on board her words and then I asked her if she had a fantasy that she would like to have written about. She told me a scenario that she liked and I agreed to give it a go for her.
I sat and thought about the idea that she had given me and it took me a couple of days to come up with what I thought was a good twist on her scenario. I began to write and soon the words were flying onto the page and I completed the story in 48 hours. I quickly posted it to her and waited her response. It came 24 hours later and she told me that she loved it but once again my diction and punctuation let me down. I looked at the story again.
This time I took the time to proof read it and found where I was making my mistakes. I went back to the drawing board and re-wrote the whole story but this time I made sure to proof read what I was writing and corrected mistakes as I went along and when it was complete I threw it back to Babs to see what she thought. She still loved the story but was more impressed with the fact that I had corrected all the mistakes that I had made.
I decided to send it to Literotica to see if they would accept it this time. I waited for 72 hours and then I checked the site and saw that it had been approved. I was delighted and could not wait to tell Babs. She was as happy as me.
I continued to chat to June and we became really good friends and I felt that I could talk to her about anything that was going on in my life. The problem was that I was still single and by now she had met a man and had begun to date him. I of course was jealous but I tried my hardest not to show it and tried to carry on our conversations as before.
Time passed and we stayed in touch on a regular basis and our friendship grew but the more that I chatted to her the more that I fantasised about making love to her and this began to fill my every thought and it got to the point where I would masturbate daily at the thought of making love to her. I had to do something about it.
First of all I made an idiot of myself by telling her that I loved her but she made it clear that this was an impossible situation to have a relationship in and that she was going through a phase of being faithful to her boyfriend and I had to respect her for that and so I backed off and left things for a while.
I trawled the Internet and looked for other women to chat too and did not seem to get anywhere and I kept on coming to back to June and how I felt when in touch with her. Even though we were not in touch as often as we had been I still had feelings for June and I could not do anything to change that fact.
I decided to get back in touch to see if her social situation had changed any but she was still seeing the same man and she admitted that the spark of love had begun to grow with her and that perhaps this was the man to replace her late husband.
Of course I was disappointed to hear those words but I took it in my stride and decided to concentrate on my writing. I spent my days hovering over my computer pouring out story after story but I was not happy. I was not getting the love that I longed to have and I became despondent about it.
At one point I took an overdose I was that disappointed with life and I thought that life was not living for and that I would never find the love that I wanted. I longed to hold a woman in my arms and fall asleep with them and wake up in the morning and still have them there with me but it appeared that was not going to happen.
I recovered from the overdose with no physical harm done to myself and thought what a fool I had been. That was not the answer to things so I started afresh with my search for a woman. I found a couple of women and went on a few dates and then I decided to get back in touch with the woman that I had taken out to dinner and we began to communicate by text.
Back and forth the conversations went but it never really went anywhere and we just became friends who would text each other on a daily basis and find out how things were going with each other but there was no romance involved even though she kept reminding me that she owed me dinner. It never happened and gradually the conversations became less and less.
I settled for the fact that I was going to be on my own and I went back to my writing and approached it from a different angle. I decided to slow down and think about what I was writing and began to explore subjects that I had not thought about writing about before and found that I actually enjoyed what I was writing.
It became a cathartic source of comfort for me and I could not wait to wake up and get to my computer and begin to write for the day. It got to the point that I was setting my alarm clock for five o'clock in the morning because I found that I did my best writing first thing in the morning and as the day went on I would get bored and become distracted.
Any way months passed and not a lot changed in my life and I decided one day to get back in touch with June. To my surprise she responded and we started chatting again but this time on a more intimate basis.
Oh not with a view to having a relationship. She was still involved and I would never do anything to take someone else away from another person. I am too much of a gentleman to do something like that.
We started talking about sex and the lack of what she was getting with her boyfriend and that she was getting sexually frustrated because she really liked this man by now but still had not taken him to her bed and she needed to have the passion that was building up within her released. I took sympathy with her and realised how frustrating that must be for her.
I do not know why but one day I was feeling in a naughty mood and I took my phone and sent a text.
"I want to make love to you."
I pressed send and waited to see if I would get a reply. I waited for ten minutes and thought that I may have caused offence when my phone beeped.
"You are naughty."
"I know but what do you think about my idea?"
"You know that it is not possible Anthony because one I have a boyfriend and two we are so far apart."
"We could make love over the phone." I replied.
"What do you mean?"
"Have you ever had phone sex?" I asked.
"No but you have me intrigued."
I made the decision to just go with things and see what happened. I could only make a fool of myself again even though I knew that was what I did best.
I began to text again.
