Shall We Play A Game Pt 09

I sit there for a while afterwards, eyes closed. I've only given them a short sketch of what that night was like, but in telling them those few details I couldn't help but relive them. My breathing has become labored, and I can feel my heart beating faster, other more intimate signs of my bodies excitement making themselves known to me. What will I see when I open my eyes? Will there be amazement in their eyes, naked desire, or an uneasy appearance to them, as they process what I became that night? They've heard of times before when Sean and I had incredible sex, but nothing where I was so vulnerable and overcome before. A Toy. I'm trembling, I haven't told them the worst part of my tale, what I've been like this past eight days.

Finally forcing my eyes open I look at my friends. Megan and Claire are sitting on the edge of their chairs, elbows resting on the table, mouths open and stunned looks on their faces. Helen and Beth are the opposites, sitting back in their chairs with Helen's eyes wide open and hands covering her mouth, while Beth's head is tilted backwards and her eyes are closed. And Tiffany...Tiffany is sitting rigidly upright in her chair, eyes closed with her arms wrapped tightly around her body, and she's shaking. I sit there waiting for someone to say something, but nobody can say anything, whatever emotion they're feeling has left them speechless. I look back and forth at them sitting before me, and manage to squeak out a fearful, "Well?'

A few long seconds go by, finally Megan manages a quiet, "Wow," and the floodgates open.

"Oh my God!' "I almost had an orgasm just hearing you tell us about it!" "You've got tell us all the details, oh my God!" "I've never had that many orgasms in a month, and you had them in one evening!" "You lucky bitch!" "If you ever want to get rid of Sean I've got first dibs!" "Tell us again about the feather!" "No no no, I want to hear what it was like to be restrained, it sounds so fucking hot!" "I am absolutely going to try something like this with Jasmine (Beth)." "Sara, talk to us, what is it about this that has you so unbalanced (Tiffany)?"

Instant silence. All the envious faces a moment ago are replaced by concerned looks as they remember how rattled I was when I came in. Part of me is unhappy with the change, it felt so good to know that none of them thought less of me for what happened, while the other part, though still hesitant, needs to tell them of the emotions I've been consumed by since that night.

"I told you about how I truly became Toy during that night, and how I came back to myself when Sean said he loved me. I..I..dammit, I'm a strong woman, graduated with honors from university, a successful businessperson, I can stand up to anyone! I know that I've always referred to Sean as this incredible alpha male, but I'm his equal, decisions made are our decisions, if I don't like something or want something I speak my mind! But since that night, God!"

"It feels like there's two of me inside my head, one the woman I've always been and the other is Toy! A couple of times this week I've felt like throwing myself at his feet, begging Sir to take me, do whatever he wants to me, if only he'll take me! It's to the point where I can't help but draw back a little when he tries to touch me, afraid of losing control. On Saturday after that night I was exhausted, all I could do was stay in bed, covered up and hiding from the world. Whenever Sean would come in, to ask me if I wanted anything or to bring me food I felt a little frightened, not of him but of what I found within myself. It got better Sunday, I was able to text all of you that I wouldn't be able to join you for brunch, but I was still shaky inside."

"At work I was barely holding on, I probably pushed myself and others around me too much to prove to myself that I was strong, independent, and in control of myself. A couple of my coworkers came to me Thursday afternoon and asked it there was something wrong. I couldn't help but laugh a little hysterically when they did, how do you tell people you work with that your husband sexually dominated you? That you had twelve or more orgasms while he...toyed with your body? I told them that I was having to work through something that was bothering me, and thanked them for asking."

"When I'm at home with Sean we're uneasy with each other. I know I need to talk with him about that night, tell him how overpowering it was for me, but how do I do that when I'm in twisted up about how it affected me? And that's making it hard for him because he's blaming himself for what happened. He hasn't told me he blames himself, but I can tell. I sense that he wants to touch me, hold me, but he's holding back, whether he's trying to give me space or afraid of me flinching away I don't know. I'm hurting him but I can't make myself open up to him!"

"The worst times have been when I've been sleeping at night.. Sean told me that Friday night that I'd be haunted at night by dreams and even though he didn't realize it, that's what he did. The first one I had was like when he lifted my arms up above my head but more...demanding, rougher. My arms were pulled up until I couldn't reach up any more without taking my weight off my heals. He pulled my hair behind me and starting roughly licking and biting my neck while his other hand was behind me mauling my ass. Then he walked behind me and reached around my body and grabbed my bra and ripped it off me. He started squeezing my breasts and pinching my nipples almost to the point of pain, all the while his breath was panting in my ear and he was calling me cock tease and slut and other things! And God help me, I wanted him to do more to my body, hear more! I woke up trembling, my pussy was hot and soaked, and it was an effort of will not to touch myself and have an orgasm."

"The second nightmare Sean was sitting on a large chair, at least I think it was Sean, his face was in shadow. I was on the floor about four yards away and I was naked and afraid. In a loud voice that seemed to be like thunder he demanded I crawl to him and kiss his feet, and I did it. While I was doing it he called me those names again, and said he had many wicked things he was going to do to me. Without warning he grabbed onto my hair with one hand and lifted me up, when I was high enough he grabbed me under my armpit and lifted me up even higher. Both his hands shifted to my hips and he said "Now I'm going to fuck you bitch!" Looking down between out bodies I screamed, his cock was at least 12 inches long and the width of a beer can! I begged him please, please don't Sir, but he lowered me down until I could feel the monstrous cock at my labia and I began to drop farther down, the head of his cock began to slide inside of me. I woke up, how I wasn't screaming I don't know, but I managed to hold it in and not wake Sean up. I got out of bed and went into our living room and trembled violently for I don't know how long, then I went into one of our guest bedrooms. In five years of marriage I've never slept without him beside me!"

"Maybe the worst was a dream about me running, where I was running kept shifting, a forest, a hallway, in the dark where I couldn't see anything. I was being chased by a man and he was catching up to me. In my dream I could feel the terror of what would happen if I was caught, but also the excitement of being caught!"

"There's been others but those were the worst. Sometimes I've forced myself to wake up before they can get very far and others made no sense, just that they about something that I've awakened in myself. As you might expect my sleep this past week has been very poor and that hasn't helped me recover either. I don't know what to do!"

I can feel the tears running down my cheeks and I'm all hunched over, crying and shaking. I needed this, needed to open myself up and get all the screwed up emotions out. I know that later I'll feel better for it, but opening myself to my friends has opened myself up to me also. I've been forcing myself to push that night away, trying to be the person I was before it happened, but confronting all of it has brought all my emotions and memories surging through me!

I feel hands on my shoulders, and look up into Claire's concerned eyes. She gently guides me up to stand, and puts her arms around me, followed quickly by another pair of arms from behind me, and I can feel the soft impact of the others bodies as they join in holding me. It takes me a while but eventually I regain my composure, crying being replaced by slow breaths, tears ceasing to fall from my eyes.

I feel a hand underneath my chin and it turns me to look at Beth. She has this look like she has some demons of her own inside of her. She begins, "I'm a lesbian. I'm in a fantastic relationship with Jasmine, I love her and she loves me, and I can't imagine being without her. We laugh easily together, we belong to each other, and the loving is hot" She tilts her head back, rolls her eyes, and lets out a satisfied moan. The laugh she gets me to make feels good. Then her face gets serious, and I can tell she's going to reveal something that's she's always kept hidden. "I'm a lesbian, but the truth is,"

she takes a deep breath as if to force herself to open up, "the truth is I'm bi-curious. Small shake of her head, laughs nervously. "A bi-curious lesbian!"

"Sometimes we..we use a strap on for sex. Sometimes I've got it on, sometimes Jas has it on. Not very often, but it's one of the options that we have. Listening to you, my friends, telling tales about your love lives has me fantasizing about what it would be like to have a real flesh and blood cock inside me, feeling my lover go rigid when he orgasms and knowing that his cum was firing into me, filling me. Listening to you tell us about that night Sara, God, thinking about a muscular man holding me in strong arms, feeling his power as he fucks me, is driving me nuts! You say you can't talk to Sean about this, imagine how I feel! How do I tell the woman I love that I'm fantasizing about what it would be like to fuck a man, I could never hurt her like that!"

The group hug changes, now Beth is in the middle, holding her while she shakes with the emotions unleashed by her confession. I feel guilty remembering how I wished that the people in Mystique's had problems like me, not realizing that one of my friends might be one of those people. I can't help but welcome the respite from my own troubles brought about by concern for my friend.

I hear a throat clearing, and realize that the sound came from Claire. "I...can't let myself open up enough to get into a relationship like all of you can. I don't know why, the psychological term for it is attachment syndrome, but it means that I always hold back, I can't fully commit to someone. And I can't imagine being so vulnerable and open to someone like you were that night with Sean. Sometimes I think it's a confidence thing, like if I did try to give someone my love he'd reject me, not find me someone he'd want enough to give himself to me. I've always admired that in you Sara, the strength and self assurance you have that kept you from making do with Mr. Right Now, waiting for someone like Sean and then giving yourself to him wholeheartedly. You'll come out of this funk, talk it over with Sean, and probably be even happier because all of this happened! And I admire you so much for it, and wish I was more like you."

I stand there unbelieving, this from Claire? She always seemed so strong, so independent, I never thought of her as being unable to open up to someone, not being confident enough of herself to be with someone. Beth quickly turns to her and hugs her, and says,"You're an amazing woman Claire, intelligent, funny, fun to be around, and you're a smoking hottie! I know it isn't easy, but take the plunge! Any man who doesn't want you isn't good enough for you!"

I join in with the others, giving encouragement to Claire, telling her that someone would be lucky to have her as a lover. I feel my own courage and determination recovering, and know that I can go to Sean this afternoon and tell him of what I'm feeling.

"Umm..."

I turn to look at Helen and she's looking down and seems embarrassed, and I wondered if all of my friends, emboldened by my confessions are getting the courage to open up. She looks around at us, not looking at our faces but still silently gathering our eyes to her, seeming to be both embarrassed and also afraid of us.

"I have a apology to make to all of you. You all know that the sex life that Doug and I have isn't all that great, we both still love each other but we're not imaginative or adventurous enough to inject excitement into our love making. About eight months ago Sara told us about how she and Sean had made love in a rainstorm and it got me all excited. When I got home Doug could tell that I was turned on and asked me what got me horny. I...couldn't help myself, I told him your story, and could see his cock getting hard hearing about it. He reached out and started taking my shirt off, and I began taking off his belt and then his pants. We got mostly undressed and started kissing passionately right there in the living room, our hands frantically roving over each others bodies. We got down on the floor, and I wrapped my legs around him and he entered me, and we fucked like wild people. The sex was great, I had three orgasms and when Doug came he shouted

YES

loud enough that I was afraid the people in the apartments around us might have heard! After we were done we stayed on the floor kissing and holding each other."

"Since then I've told him about some of the experiences you've shared with me, and it hasn't always been Sara's that I've told him about. Sometimes I tell him about them when I get home, sometimes I'll tease him about how sexy they were and wait to tell him about them at night. I'm ashamed about abusing your trust in me and telling Doug about these things, but I couldn't help myself. We've started being a little more adventurous about our lovemaking, and it's been getting better. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Now it's Helen's turn to be in the middle of the group hug, and we all tell her that it's all right, and she's crying and keeps apologizing. She can't quite look me in the eyes, so I reach out under her chin and raise her gaze up to mine. "It's all right, you can share my adventures with Doug, as long as it goes no further" She gasps, "Oh God no, I told Doug to never breath a word about what I tell him, he knows I'd never forgive him if he did something like that!" She starts getting a hold of herself, wiping the tears off her cheeks and manages a shaky smile.

"Sara?"

"Helen?"

"I don't suppose Sean could help Doug out with a couple ideas and outlines for something sexy like you just told us?"

Big laugh from everybody!! "I'll tell him to get in touch with Doug."

I'm starting to feel good again, this group catharsis is helping me focus on others problems than dwelling on mine. I turn around and look at my friends, and when I look at Megan I'm shocked to see her with conflicting emotions showing, embarrassment, vulnerable, and...anger? The others draw slightly back so she and I are looking at only each other. I feel afraid of my friend, what have I done to Megan?

"I love you Sara, you've been my best friend since college, and I wouldn't want to ever change that. But sometimes I can't help but...hate you."

My heart lurches in my chest and I can't breath, Megan hates me?

"You've got a hunk for a husband, an incredible stud who you're still hopelessly in lust for after five years of marriage! Everything you've told us about your sex life with him screams how tender, loving and inventive he is when it comes to you two. And what you've just told us...you haven't told us most of the details, but to do all the things he did to give you what you wanted is astounding! You're complaining about it! God, if Mark had been even a little like Sean I'd have been a happy woman!"

"All of you know why Mark and I divorced, you helped me get through it. I thought he loved me when I married him, maybe he did, but he never really gave a damn about my needs. It was always his restaurants that he liked that we went to, his movies and television shows that we watched. The sex...a little bit of foreplay, fucking until he got off, and then nothing. He loved oral sex from me, but he didn't care enough about me to reciprocate. And then I found out that the bastard was cheating on me with some bitch! If it hadn't been for you four I'd have shot the swine dead!"

Tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I've had to listen to you about you and your husband for all these years wishing I was you! I love you Sara, but sometimes I'm so jealous of you I can't help but hate you."

I could barely breath, my shock was so great. All I could do was stand there stunned while my other friends stood around us, mute from Megan's confession. I wanted to reach out to her, beg her to forgive me, but I couldn't be sure that she wouldn't slap me. It would have destroyed me. So I just stood there with tears streaming from my eyes, looking at her. She started to lean towards me and I felt myself doing the same, and suddenly we were locked together in a hug, our arms holding each other with all of our strength, crying and apologizing. The others softly joined us and held us, giving us their support until we both calmed down.

Beth opinion-ed, "It appears that this is the day for all of us to exorcise our demons." We slowly moved slightly away from each other, shaken at so much raw emotion. I don't know why we did it, but we all turned to look at the Tiffany who had been quiet this whole time.

"I envy you so much Sara! Your intelligence, your beauty, your success at work, your stud of a husband. The determination to hold back until you met the right man, the strength of self to believe in yourself even when others around were thinking the worst of you. I'm doing pretty good at the university myself, and I think I'm a bit of a hottie also, and when I graduate the world had better look out! But your marriage with Sean! How often does someone find their perfect soulmate, a marriage where after five years the two of you are still acting like a couple of randy teenagers? He'd do anything for you, and you'd do anything for him. I want that too!

"How often does that happen though? The boys I've let for a short time into my life are all right, but none of them can hold a candle to Sean, whether in looks, attitude, or ability in bed. How do I find a man like that?"

Once again we get together into a group hug, assuring Tiffany that she'll find her soulmate and be happy. In a short while she recovers her composure, and gives me an impish smile.

"And you, silly. The answer for what you need is so obvious to me."

My mouth falls open, so stunned am I by her words. "

What?"

"The two of you are so much alike. Each driven to success, both very intelligent, both absolutely fucking gorgeous! You're always referring to Sean as an alpha male, never looking at yourself and realizing that you're just as much an alpha female! You're both totally committed to each other. But right now the two of you are out of balance because of that Friday night."

"You've got to get back to that balance between the two of you. You've got to establish that you have just as much power over him if he allows it, just like you did for him. You just have to do it differently. It's not like you can bring him to orgasm after orgasm like he did you. The male body isn't set up for

so many climaxes. Which is a good thing, cause if men were capable of multiple orgasms the human race would still be living in caves and eating their food raw!"

Oh god, the huge laugh that brings out in all of us feels so good, it's only by all of us holding on to each other that prevents us from falling down.