A glimpse of the good times.
I started getting used to Chennai and Shivu / my father in law's brother and their sexual exploits.
First time in years realized that I was being used and was not in control of my life. The marriage to Sridhar and the return to native land were not working out for me.
Slowly β I influenced myself that I need not live with this problem β this was a sentimental blackmail and both my brother in law and father in law were taking undue advantage of my simplicity around emotions β which they were not aware β was a very short-lived line item in my caricature.
I began to scheme and in the process β decided to make a visit to Bangalore and live in my lover Ratan's house for some days β that way β it will give an organized signal to my in laws.
Sridhar Shivu and others were very upset with my plans β but could not stop me and with practically the saree I was wearing and a few more clothes β made my way to the bus stand and returned to Bangalore.
The house was in a major bad shape β and with the entire neighborhood being new and full of strangers β I found it difficult to cleanup and get the house back in order.
Ratan's parents were still living in their place where as the entire compound had been put up on the rent excepting the portion where I was staying β they did not like me but because of my parents who were very close to them allowed me their blessings and provided me help through Pandu β a semi paraplegic uncle of Ratan β who was yet unmarried β lived with Ratan' parents β Ratan himself was now in Cuddalore β bordering TN working in the Indian Railways.
The house became a home and with some money that I had saved on my return from Goa that was still with me β I brought things to shape and in the afternoon and after 8 hours of hectic cleanup activity β got a chance to take a nap.
Days went by and Shivu came couple of times but was not able to convince me to return, I also was not very keen to arouse my sexual heat any more β was tired of all the past affairs with my in laws and it was becoming increasingly difficult to digest the role Sridhar and Shivu had played upon my return from Goa β though they lost a son in Ashok β it seemed my body was more important to them than the grief.
After a couple of months with Ratan's parents and stating on my own β life started to pick up and I started to realize the follies of the past and resolved with lot of help and coaxing from Ratan's mommy to start working β and do things for myself β they even offered to get me married to some one they knew.
I was not very keen but knowing that life cannot continue in this manner for long, reluctantly gave them the nod.
They called my sister Chitra who was overjoyed seeing me in Bangalore β it had been years now that we had seen each other and she just wept.
I was not aware who was the boy and it did not matter to me β I felt it was important to go through that ritual. With both my parents having passed away a few years ago β the responsibility was on Chitra β I did not want to get Shivu and his clan involved in this β it was not going to work.
Chitra and Laxman (my brother in law) were not very happy with the proposal from Ratan's folks β the boy was none other than my childhood flame β Varma now β 32 years β he was a widower and was living in Madurai and had a child who was in the custody of his in β laws.
He was aware of my state β and wanted to marry me. I was surprised β he practically knew everything about me and wanted to marry me β this was a bloomer of sorts and really did not make sense to me β but well life is all about twists and turns.
The marriage was fixed and was made a bride again. Everyone came - Shivu was there along with Lavanya and my son β Kamesh and Ratan were there and so were people like my Uncle (still alive) and Chitra and the surprise pack was Kamesh's father β Srinivasan. He was visiting his sister (Ratan's mommy), so attended the wedding.
Kamesh was very apologetic and offered all help β he told me that finally his fiancΓ©e had agreed to forego her job and they were going to settle down soon β she was a Mauritian and that meant β Kamesh was going to settle down in Port Loius.
That was another reason for me to get married β I knew that Kamesh had become a part of my life and I was becoming possessive of him β he was aware of the bonding β both knew that will not work and with the gory stuff we both did together β it was impossible to get into an alliance of that sort β he wanted to speak to me before we left for Madurai and after all the guests had gone β he came to me and gave me couple of things which make me feel really proud as a human being.
He gave me all the evidence of the erase he had done to my past life with him including all the Cam recorder cassettes and photographs, which were shot and taken β during the 26 months of my living with him, they included most of his friends from Dhanbad and some of them also had his father. This is not known to many that Kamesh made me fuck his father to get even with the old man β using which he got the family approval to marry the chick from Port Louis.
I still remember that day in Dhanbad β he had taken me home and his family obviously did not approve β they knew me too well.
His father made his life miserable and finally β I was forced to stay in a hotel. That was well before our Goa days and the other escapades β it was a time β when we both were terribly infatuated and really thought we loved each other β and though he was sure of his fiancΓ©e β he wanted to play on a different card and make his family approve my.
I was totally in the dark and only later β it dawned on me that he had done it to gain his family's acceptance for Shireen.
Kamesh told me exactly how to what to do in the seduction game and there started the next chapter in my sex life with another older man.
The dawn broke quietly over the city. A cool breeze flowed across my printed cotton sari.
I just paused and straightened, and lifted my hand to pull the *pallu* of my *sari* over the head. I walked across the dew lawn to the penthouse to look for Kamesh's father, as I neared it, heard a sharp, high cry, a sound I know well, and, smiling to myself, I quickened my steps.
The windows to the master bedroom were flung wide, the curtains drawn back.
I did not know that this is a house without secrets hence took some caution and habituation to enter - never been there, my feet sink into the deep pile of the carpet that covers the floor.
My lover is within. He is naked, and he is in bed with me, the mistress of the house for the moment.