Sharing Melissas Mouth

"I want to watch you suck another guy's cock," Scott said.

"Um," Melissa said. "What?"

It had been a quiet night at home until then.

She sat there and looked at him and couldn't decide what to think. They were having dinner, so she kept having dinner. She wasn't sure what else you were meant to do when your boyfriend told you something like that.

"Where did that come from?" she said in the end.

"I do have a fantasy. You asked the other day. I said I didn't have any."

She nodded. There had been something in a magazine, and she'd asked, and then forgotten right away.

"That isn't true," he said. "I do. I want to watch you suck another guy's cock."

She thought about that. "That's like, your only fantasy?"

"That's the big one."

"Oh," she said. She wasn't sure how judgmental she should be, whether she should be supportive since he was sharing, or honest about how that made her feel. She sat there for a moment, and realized she couldn't actually decide how it made her feel. It was sort of rude, that he thought about her like that, and rude that he thought she would. It was also kind of dirty, and kind of hot.

"Dude," Melissa said. "That's kind of weird."

Scott looked embarrassed. "You asked, that was all. Never mind."

"I'm not saying no. I'm wondering about your sanity a bit, but I'm not saying no."

"Saying not to what?"

"Ah, to that. To what you just suggested."

He looked up. "I wasn't suggesting."

"Oh," Melissa said, and now she was embarrassed. "Weren't you?"

Scott shrugged.

"You just told me," Melissa said. "So aren't you asking if I will? I mean, why did you tell me if you don't want me to do it?"

"You asked the other day. I felt bad I'd lied."

"Oh." She ate a little more. It was spaghetti, and fiddly, needed swirling and a bit of concentration to catch. He might be telling her something weird, but she loved him for getting so worked up about a tiny lie that didn't matter at all.

"I love you," she said. "Don't worry about this, okay? It's not a problem."

"Thank you."

Melissa chewed, looked at him. "So do you? Want me to?"

No answer.

"Come on," she said. "It's out there now. How serious are you about this?"

"I don't know. I want you to know that's what I think about, that's all."

Melissa nodded. That actually made a bit of sense. She wasn't sure she'd want to actually do all the things she'd ever fantasized about either.

"Yeah," she said. "Yeah, fair enough."

"I don't know if actually wanting you to is better or worse than just imagining it."

"Imagining me...."

He nodded.

"You do that? Imagine me doing that?"

He looked really uncomfortable and didn't answer. Melissa decided not to push too much. "Yeah," she said, after a minute. "I don't know either."

"You think it's weird?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe a bit."

"You're not annoyed?"

"Nah. I mean, I'd rather know."

"Not disgusted?"

"I shouldn't be, should I?" Melissa said. "I mean, it's kind of bad. But then again, I blow you and I like it. I've blown other guys. Obviously. So what's the big deal?"

Scott just at there looking at her, and she knew he was getting hopeful. She knew his worried face and she knew his hopeful face and he was definitely looking at her with the hopeful face. And a bit of a turned on face too.

"Um," she said. "Hold on. I'm not completely sure I mean that how it sounded."

Scott looked disappointed.

Melissa took a little pity on him. "I'm not sure I don't either."

Now he just seemed confused.

"You heard me," she said, and chewed another mouthful of spaghetti.

He ate quietly. After a while he got up, and got a beer from the fridge. He gave her one too.

"Have you before?" Melissa said, still thinking. "Done that with someone? An ex? Like got her to go along with it?"

Scott shook his head.

"Never?"

"No."

"Couldn't talk any of the exes into it?"

"Never trusted anyone enough to tell them."

She looked at him for a moment, feeling all warm and tender, and slightly irritated too. "Prick," she said, and leaned over the table and kissed him.

"What?"

"Saying that. Making it sweet. You're a prick."

"Okay."

"I'm not pissed off, and I'll think about it, okay? Now stop looking at me."

"I'm not asking you to think about it. I'm just telling you."

"I know you're not, but I am. Unless you don't want me to?"

He looked at her for a while.

"Do you want me to?" she said. "Think about it?"

Still no answer.

"Yes?" she said. "No?"

Looking almost ashamed, he said, very quietly, "Yes."

"Well then," she said, and stood up and started clearing the table.

*

They went and sat in the lounge and watched TV, but Melissa couldn't concentrate. She had her feet up on Scott's lap, was watching him as much as the screen. She kept being distracted by what he'd said to her.

"What?" Scott said, when he noticed Melissa staring, and each time she shook her head and didn't answer.

She was horny, but she couldn't quite decide if she was turned on by his idea, or just turned on by the idea of him being turned on by telling her.

He was asking her to have sex with other people, without apparently wanting to himself, and she couldn't decide if that was a good thing for her, or just a completely stupid thing for both of them.

"Want to go to bed?" she said, and he turned off the TV and stood up.

She'd planned to just hop into bed and fuck without talking about it any more, but started thinking again while she was brushing her teeth.

She went into the bedroom, still holding the toothbrush, and said, "Who? Which guy?"

Scott looked surprised. "The thing?

"Of course the thing. Who do you want me to do?"

"Anyone you want."

"I can pick?"

"Of course."

"Huh," she said, and went back into the bathroom to spit. She swallowed water, rinsed her mouth, and went back to the bedroom door holding the towel. "Anyone at all?"

"If you'll do it, then yeah, I suppose."

"Because then I will?"

"Not like that, but..."

"If it makes me more into it, then yes?"

He shrugged, like he didn't know what to say.

"Wouldn't you be jealous? If it's some dude I've had a crush on for years?"

"You have crushes?"

"Maybe," she said. "Who knows. Wouldn't that worry you?"

"I think that's part of it."

She looked at him, puzzled. "How?"

"If you're really into it. Into him."

"I don't get that," she said.

"I don't either, really. It seems to be there, though."

"You want to be jealous?"

"I said I don't get it."

"Okay," Melissa said, now not sure they should even be talking about it, if he hadn't sorted that out himself. She put the towel back, and went into the bedroom. Undressed completely, assuming she was getting some, and then stopped and sat on the edge of the bed.

Scott looked at her.

"I'm thinking," she said.

"About this?"

"Ah, yeah. Of course."

"About me getting jealous?"

She shrugged.

"I'll be okay," Scott said. "I won't get jealous about this."

"You're sure?"

"I think so."

"Because it turns you on? And that's bigger than the jealousy?"

"I think so."

"Yeah," Melissa said. It sort of made sense. "It would be really bad if we did anything about this and you couldn't handle it, though."

"We're doing something about it now?"

She shrugged again.

"Oh," Scott said, and seemed really surprised. "Shit."

"Don't you want to?" she said.

"I was really only telling you because I felt bad about lying," he said. "I swear. We don't need to do anything."

"Yeah," Melissa said. "But now I'm wondering, and you know I'm wondering, and so it's there. I'm not upset by the idea, I'm just worried about what might happen."

He nodded.

"I want to get my head around it," she said. "Before we do anything."

She slid into bed, and reached over, and he was hard. It seemed to a shame to waste it, so she started a bit of ear-licking and making out, and that ended the conversation for a while. Scott slid his fingers into her, and she was a bit surprised by how wet she was already. All this talk was turning her on too.

Scott started to turn her over, to have her from behind.

"Wait," Melissa said. "Not like that. Not if we're going to keep talking about it."

"We're going to keep talking?"

"Aren't we?"

"I don't know."

"We are, and I don't want you behind me for something like this. So get on top."

He did, and she closed her eyes, and sighed, and felt him push inside her.

"What if he has a bigger cock than you?" Melissa said. "The guy I blow." She didn't open her eyes.

"Does it matter? In your mouth?"

"I guess not."

She lay there for a while, feeling him fuck her. "What if I like how he tastes better?"

"I don't mind."

"Will I know how he tastes? I mean, do you want him to wear a condom?"

Silence for a moment. Melissa opened her eyes and looked at Scott.

"Is it awful if I say no?" he said.

"You don't want him to?"

He didn't answer.

"You don't?" she said. "You're sure?"

"I don't. I want him to come in your mouth. You to taste him. Swallow him. Is that okay?"

She lay there a while. "Can I fuck him?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure."

"Just head?"

"Just head. For now."

Somewhere along the line they'd stopped talking about maybe, she noticed, and started talking about how. And a really specific kind of how, with rules. She wasn't sure that was a good idea. She wasn't sure if was a good idea to have sex while they talked about whether they would, either.

She'd started it, though. She'd done it, and was getting turned on talking about it, even if it was only talk.

"What about me," she said. "Do I get any?"

"I don't know."

"What if I'd only want to do it if he went down on me as well."

"Then I guess that's okay."

"You're sure?" Melissa said.

"I'm sure."

She lay there and looked at him and smiled. "Pervert," she said, finally.

"Want head?" Scott said, grinning.

"Um. Yeah, okay."

He slid down and she wrapped her legs around his shoulders, and lay there, a bit startled by how enthusiastic he seemed to be by all this, and how it was working for her, too. She came pretty quickly, even for head, came, and grabbed at the sheet and tried not to make it obvious how intensely she was coming because she didn't want Scott to know this was turning her on.

He kept grinning, though, so she thought he knew.

She blew him, because she was pretty sure that was what he'd had in mind when he offered to do her. She bent over and sucked him off, and every time she glanced up he was staring at her. The whole time he was oddly silent, all inward and thinking, and she had a horrible feeling he was imagining her doing someone else.

And she wasn't sure she minded if he was.

He came quickly too. She swallowed, and then went and got a glass of water to rinse her mouth. She thought while she did, thought when she went back into the bedroom. They'd made a mess of the covers. She pulled them straight, and while she did she said, "You really want to do this?"

"I didn't say that."

"I'm asking."

He looked at her.

"I'm asking, one chance, so tell me if you want to."

"I think I might," he said.

She turned off the light and got into bed.

"Well?" he said.

She lay there for a while. "I'll think about it," she said.

He smiled, and kissed her, and she lay there, half-asleep, wondering.

*

Melissa was fairly sure Scott was deliberately giving her space to decide, and that he knew her well enough to know that pestering her would just make her say no.

She wasn't sure him knowing her that well was a good thing, right now.

Two evenings later, while they were putting plates in the dishwasher, she said. "I need to know one thing."

"Okay."

"About the thing. From the other night."

"I assumed."

"So completely honest answer. Promise you won't bullshit me, okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "Of course."

"I mean it. Even if I don't like the answer now, I'll like it a lot less if I find out it isn't true."

"Okay."

"I'll never forgive you if you lie, okay? It's a big deal."

"Yeah, Melissa. Shit. What is it?"

"Am I good?" she said.

He looked at her.

"At head," she said. "Do I give good blowjobs."

"Yeah, of course."

"Really. Do I do the right things? Is there anything I could do better."

"No, Melissa. You're... I mean, you're perfect. You're good."

"You have to say that."

He looked at her.

"Now be honest. It doesn't matter if it's just you getting bad head for the rest of your life. If we're going out and offering me to other people, I need to know."

"Melissa, you're good. You do it well."

"Am I good enough this guy isn't going to be disappointed."

"Which guy?"

"Any guy. The guy we offer me to. Is he going to like it?"

"Sweetheart, yes."

"More than okay? Like he won't think it's weird I'm offering?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well, some chick offers you a blowjob out the blue, you kind of assume she's done it before and had a bit of practice."

"I suppose."

"So will I live up to that?"

"Do you give head like a slut, you mean?"

She glared at him, and thumped a plastic tray down on the bench. "I mean it."

"Melissa, you're fucking great."

"I don't believe that."

"You're good. You're more than good enough for some guy we don't even know."

"Really?" she said, not sure why she cared so much. "You promise?"

"I swear."

"Okay," she said, and put a few more cups into the dishwasher. He was looking at her, not saying anything.

"What?" she said.

"Nothing."

"I'm still deciding," she said.

"Okay."

"I'm almost there."

He looked at her.

"You heard," she said, and he grinned and kissed her.

*

The next night Melissa ended up working late. She got home after dark, walked into the kitchen, and found Scott already there, cooking.

"It's almost ready," he said.

"The thing," she said. "Would you organize it? If I said yes, would you organize it all for me?"

"Yeah, of course. If you want me to."

"Okay," she said. "How?"

He put a lid on the saucepan and wiped his hands on a towel and leaned on the bench and looked at her. "I hadn't really thought about it."

"Your big fantasy and you hadn't thought about it?"

"Not like that."

"So think about it now. How does it work. How do you find this guy."

"Ah," Scott said. "Ask around, I suppose. Ask someone."

"So ask one of your mates?"

"I suppose."

"No way."

He looked at her.

"I'm not blowing someone we know. I'm just not."

"Okay. Fair enough."

"So how?"

"Internet, I guess. There must be people into this kind of shit. A personal ad."

Melissa thought. "Nope."

"Why not?"

"You want me to suck some random's cock without knowing anything about him? I'm not doing some loser who can't get any except off the internet. Not a chance."

"Okay, so what do you want to do?"

Melissa thought. "I don't know. I'll do it, I guess. If I'm going to. Pick someone up in a bar or something."

"That's not too much work?"

"What, hey, my boyfriend wants to watch me suck you off. Nah, I don't think it'll be that complicated."

Scott grinned. "When?"

"Sometime. Let me think about it."

*

They had sex again when they got into bed. That had been each night since this had started, and once in the morning too, yesterday, when Scott had followed Melissa into the shower.

On her knees, on the bed, being taken from behind, Melissa said, "I'll do it."

Scott stopped moving.

"Did you hear me?" she said. She turned her face a little, in case her voice had been muffled by pressing into the pillow.

"I heard you."

"You still want to?"

"Ah, yeah. I do."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

"Really sure? Really completely fucking sure?"

"Yes."

She nodded, and reached back and pulled him against her, and squeezed until he started moving again. There didn't seem much else she needed to say, after that.

*

They went to a bar, after work, sat at a table and looked around. There were men here, a lot of men. Some with women, but many in groups or on their own. And many Melissa wouldn't mind fucking, if this was years ago and she was single and on the prowl.

"What about him?" Melissa said.

"Okay."

"Him?"

"Go on."

She looked at him. "This really doesn't bother you."

"It doesn't."

"It should."

"I know."

"Him?" Melissa said.

"Pick one and hit on him."

"Not him," Melissa said. "I don't know, he's too.... Something."

"When you're ready."

"I know. Probably not tonight."

He just grinned at her and squeezed her hand.

She leaned over. "Another man's penis, in my mouth," Melissa said. "It's quite a thing."

"It is."

"You know he's going to be hot, right?"

"Yeah. I mean, I suppose..."

"I'm just saying. If I'm just blowing someone, not getting anything myself, it's going to be someone hot. Someone so hot I'd just blow him anyway, just to have his cock in my mouth."

Scott looked at her.

"I'm just checking you've thought of that. That it's okay."

"It's okay."

"Bigger cock. Hotter than you. Me with a ten."

"I'm a ten." After a moment he grinned. "Melissa, it's okay. I've thought this. I want to."

"Okay. I'm just checking."

She went and got another drink, and said hi to a guy at the bar. He said hi back. She knew Scott was watching, and she almost stayed and flirted, but then changed her mind, got scared before she could, just picked up her drink and walked away.

She was almost sure she was going to, though. One day.

*

That night, instead of sex, she got Scott to stand up, and knelt on the bedroom floor in front of him, and sucked him off. She didn't usually give him head kneeling in front of him, because she found it a bit degrading, but this was different. When he was done she spat his come back into her cupped hands and, still kneeling, looked up at him.

"What's up?" he said.

"Think about this. Before we do it. Make sure you're okay with it."

"I am."

"Me like this, kneeling in front of someone who isn't you."

"I know."

"Another man seeing me naked."

"You don't have to be."

She hadn't actually thought of that, but it wasn't really the point. "If you can't deal with that, then maybe we shouldn't..."

"I can deal with it."

"Doing this," she said, and licked the runny semen off her hand. Watched him while she swallowed it.

"Yeah," he said.

"Grab my tits."

He did, gently.

"Squeeze them. Like you own them."

He did.

"Someone doing that. Someone pushing my head down on his cock. You're okay with that?"

"I am."

She looked up at him and he really did seem sure. She still didn't understand. She really didn't get this, and she wouldn't have

"Okay," she said. "Yes. I'll do it."

He kissed her.

"This is on you if it all goes to shit, though," she said. "I mean it."

He was grinning.

"I fucking mean it."

"I know."

He pulled her up onto the bed and ate her out and she made herself not come for as long as she possibly could, just to enjoy the moment.

Not that it mattered, as it turned out. He kept going after she had, and made her come again, and was acting like he'd planned to give her two to all along. Turned on by his fantasy, she thought.

*

Melissa decided that Saturday was the best night to do it. She spent the rest of the week nervous, and the whole weekend so horny she couldn't think, and wondered what the fuck was wrong with her. She was only sucking some guy's cock. It wasn't like there was anything in it for her.

It wasn't giving the blowjob itself, exactly. It was that she could have anyone, and have someone else, and have sex, and Scott didn't mind. It was a strange and quite powerful thing.

She almost couldn't wait until evening. She started getting ready early, taking her time, and Scott lay on the bed and watched her.

When she was done, she went and sat beside him. Just to make sure. "You really want me to do this?" she said.