I was at the beach and for some reason I was in a foul mood. Don't ask me why. I just was. I was strolling along the water's edge, kicking at the sand and daring the seagulls to crap on me.
Now up ahead of me there's some excitement going on and people are piling out of the water and pointing and yelling. I finally spot what they're all pointing at. There's this whacking great fin sticking out of the water, following the shore line.
As soon as I saw the fin I was like everyone else; shark! A closer look tended to say that it was rather a ratty looking fin. And the fin was cruising only a few feet from the water's edge. I mean, the water would only be a few feet deep there, not deep enough for a large shark.
Putting two and two together, it dawned on me that it was some ratty kid with a fake fin swimming along, probably using a snorkel to breath. He was having a whale of a time scaring everyone.
What can't people have fun without trying to scare other people? That sort of thing really gives me the irrits at times, and in my current mood, this was one of those times. I resolved to teach the idiot a lesson.
Now I'm a big chap, and strong with it. I moved into the water, close to where the idiot would pass. Just as the fin was drawing level I stepped forward and trod down hard just in front of the fin, where I figured his shoulders would be. This should have sent him ploughing into the bottom as well as flooding his snorkel.
Instead I got knocked flat on my arse as a fucking monster exploded up out of the water. It just seemed to erupt in a huge spray, water splashing everywhere and in the middle of it this enormous shark was bucking and twisting. The shark took off for deep water at a great rate of knots. The speed he was going, he was going to be across the bay and hitchhiking his way inland in nothing flat.
He was slow compared to the way I left the water. I just levitated out and landed on the shore. People were laughing and yelling and congratulating me on chasing the shark off. I just waved off their comments and got out of there. I didn't need the cheers. I needed a quiet place where I could go and throw up. Quite frankly, I was surprised I hadn't crapped myself. It all happened too fast, I guess.
After I shook of my well-wishers and the fewer, but wiser, people who thought I was an idiot, I faded into the dunes and scrub between the main beach and the road. I found myself a nice little spot and just collapsed on the sand, feeling like shit. A touch of shock I suppose. Well done me, jumping up and down on a great white. Tomorrow I'd wrestle some tigers.
I tilted my hat over my face and just relaxed, letting all the tensions slowly drain away. I even slept for a short while. When I woke up the first thing I did was laugh at myself. What a colossal idiot I'd been. At least, my foul mood had gone. I was just happy to be breathing.
Not having anything better to do I relaxed in the sun, just letting the whole world get along without me for a while. I figured it would survive and still be there when I felt like facing it again.
As per normal with the world, it didn't wait for me to be ready to face it. It came intruding upon me. I heard the swish of feet scuffling through sand and then this pretty young thing came around one of the dunes and spotted me.
She looked quite put out for a moment. I suspect because the little area I had settled on had a nice grassy covering, ideal for a young lady who might want to do a little bit of discreet sunbathing. However, I was there first and she'd have to look elsewhere for her privacy.
While she was giving me an irritated look, I was giving her the once over. Late teens or early twenties, I thought, with my money being on the early twenties. Dark haired with brown eyes and an olive complexion. The sort of figure the designers had in mind when they design bikinis and hers fitted beautifully.
Then she recognised me.
"Oh, you're the guy that chased away the shark. That was such a heroic thing to do. I've never known someone so brave."
She was practically gushing in her earnestness. Hero worship strikes again. I was amused, but didn't really want to listen to her carrying on, so decided to give her an excuse to leave.
"That wasn't really brave," I said in an offhand manner. "It's just a case of knowing how animals react to a fright. Brave is when you take a chance, not knowing what will happen. Like a man meeting a pretty young lady such as yourself and doing this."
She was standing within easy reach and I just reached over and tugged her bikini bottom down, letting them go once they'd cleared her hips, hoping that gravity would finish the job. It turned out that gravity was feeling lazy and her bikini bottom just settled around her knees.
"You can't do that," she squeaked, sounding scandalised rather than upset.
She grabbed for her bikini bottom and pulled them back up, but it seemed to me that she took her time doing so. And she didn't turn away while she did so, and I had a clear view of her goodies, noting the fact that she shaved.
"That was embarrassing," she protested. "We've only just met. How could you possibly do something like that?"
"It was easy. Like you said, I'm incredibly brave, and I like a challenge. I'll show you."
This time I pulled her bikini down more slowly, continuing until they were around her ankles.
