Shes Gotta Have It

"WHY WON'T YOU FUCK ME?!?"

"I JUST WANT SOME SLEEP!"

"Not again," I grumbled as I rolled over to lie on my back.

As I stared at the ceiling, hoping to fall back asleep, I listened to the familiar sounds of my neighbors having their marital issues. It really sucked to be awake at 3 AM on a Thursday, especially when you have to wake up in about 3 hours, but that's the price you pay when you live in a duplex, especially one with very thin walls. Still, I guess it's better than living with my folks.

At 25 years old, I had landed a good job doing tech support at an accounting firm. The pay was decent enough for me to get my first place. This duplex was about half an hour from where I worked, and fit well into my budget.

But, right now, I was missing my sleep. I hadn't had a good night's sleep in the last 2 months. When I moved in 6 months ago, the unit next to me was empty. However, that was before the Turners moved in.

I never saw them that much since they moved in; occasionally, I would pass them by on the way to the mailbox, or when I put the trash out, but they pretty much kept to themselves. I kept expecting either one of them to come over and apologize for the noises they made. Lots of times I thought about calling the landlord, only to remember how much of a chickenshit I was.

After hearing the slam of a door, I was blessed with complete silence.

The next day, after getting home from work, I walked out to the mailbox. On the way there, I noticed one of the Turners pulling into their driveway in a black Pontiac Grand Am coupe. Out of the car came Sylvia Turner, the wife.

"Hey, neighbor," I said with a smile and a wave.

"Hey," she replied with thin smile.

As I got the mail, I watched my neighbor grab her backpack out of her car and head towards the house. All the while, I kept wondering why her husband wouldn't want to have sex with her. Sure she wasn't exactly hot, but she had her appeal, especially to a guy like me who hadn't been laid since Obama was first elected.

Behind her rectangular geek glasses, she had tiny, watery eyes. Her face didn't have many other notable features, just pretty pink lips that helped conceal her somewhat prominent upper front teeth, and a pointy, upturned nose that reminded me of the Whos from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". Atop her head was a nest of dark brown hair arranged in a pixie cut.

But, her body was an entirely different story.

She had been blessed with curvy, child-bearing hips, accentuated by the jeans that she wore. But, the feature that would always immediately grab my attention was her chest. Underneath her drab t-shirt, she had been gifted with a pair of enormous, wobbling breasts that I liked to call "mom tits". The few times I had seen her, those babies would jostle around her shirt like two giant water balloons under a bedsheet. I definitely had a type; I would take mom tits over those fake silicone porn star tits any damn day.

Later that night, I ran into Sylvia's husband, Andrew, while I took out the trash. Andrew was a thin, yet muscular guy, with a mop of black hair and a shaggy mustache and beard. He pulled into the driveway in his pickup truck at around 11 PM, shooting me a friendly "Hey, buddy" before he ventured into his house. When I got back inside, I thought for sure that I would hear them arguing right away. Unfortunately for me, they started a bit after midnight.

"Dammit, Sylvia will you just come to bed?!?"

"No! Not unless you want me."

"I do want you! I want to sleep with you!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"

"SHIT, SYLVIA! I'M NOT A MACHINE! I HAD A ROUGH DAY AT WORK! CAN'T A MAN COME HOME, EAT, WATCH SOME FUCKIN' TV, AND THEN GO TO BED WITHOUT HIS WIFE HOUNDING HIM?!?"

"I WOULDN'T HAVE TO HOUND YOU IF WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX ONLY TWICE EVERY FUCKING WEEK!"

I continued to lie there, hearing the verbal tennis going on between my dysfunctional neighbors. Maybe I should get some water...or watch reruns of The Twilight Zone...or go on my laptop to buy some noise-cancelling headphones. Heaving a sigh, I decided on my first choice and prepared to go get some water.

"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?" I heard Sylvia roar. "MAYBE YOU'D LIKE IT IF I WENT AND FUCKED SOMEBODY ELSE!"

"BE MY FUCKING GUEST, BITCH!" Andrew retorted.

"FINE! I SWEAR, THE NEXT GUY I CROSS, I'M GONNA FUCK HIM SILLY!"

This argument, like the others before it, ended with the slam of a door. I sat on the edge of the bed, my slightly erect dick poking out of the front of my boxers. I guess part of me was hoping that Sylvia would run next door and ask me to help her make good on her threat. I remained seated for a few more suspense-filled minutes before I got up and headed to the kitchen. I was almost tempted to grab a cold shower in addition to my cold drink.

In the days that followed, my mind kept playing random scenarios where Sylvia and I would meet, and I would ravish her; it made for some very interesting wet dreams, to say the least. All of them progressed like the typical cheesy porn plot: the sexy neighbor coming to ask for some sugar, the sex-starved wife running into me at the supermarket, or the lonely housewife that needed help unclogging a drain while she was only covered with a bath towel. Sadly, those things never came to play.

A few weeks after that, I had forgotten that oh-so-special dialogue, as it had been followed by several other loud arguments. If I had been as brave and forceful as I was in my head, I would have marched over to her side of the duplex, kicked the door in, and ravished her myself. I'm sure that would have given us all a chance for a good night's sleep.

It was until a random Saturday afternoon that I received a knock on my door. I got up from my couch, turned off the television, and swiftly peeked through the eyehole to see Sylvia Turner standing in front of my door, wearing a drab brown T-shirt and some red basketball shorts. I quickly opened the door, to find her standing with her arms folded and a perturbed expression on her face. I began to wonder if she was going to file some kind of neighborly complaint. Had I set the volume on my TV too loud?

"Hey, I um," she began. "You're good with computers, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Listen, I hate to bother you, but, I'm in the middle of writing an essay, and I think I picked up a virus or something. I've tried everything to get it off, but nothing's working. I've been working on this thing for weeks and..."I watched as a few tears began to slide down her face.

"I-I'll take a look," I said. "I just need to grab some stuff first."

"Okay," she sniffled.

I ran to my room, whilst in my head thanking whichever god responsible for this opportunity. After grabbing a few flash drives, I met back with Sylvia at the front door and we walked over to her side of the duplex. I was surprised at how nice their house was; the walls were adorned with photos of her and her husband, as well as various relatives. For some strange reason, I had always imagined the inside of their home to be some messy place littered with cigarette butts and food cartons. So far, that was two surprises.

"It's back here," she said.

My heart began to pound as I slowly realized that she was leading me into her bedroom, which was not as clean as the rest of the house. There were a few papers littering the floor, the bed was unmade, and it was gloomy, due to the closed curtains. The only redeeming quality was that it smelled strongly of banana bread.

"Sorry about the mess," Sylvia apologized as she picked her laptop off of the bed and handed it to me. "I've been too busy to clean."

"No worries," I told her. "By the way, did you make some banana bread?"

"No, it's actually a scented candle," she said with a smile, nodding over to the candle sitting on her bathroom countertop.

I sat down on her bed and looked down at her computer. Her desktop was littered with fake antivirus software, and it wouldn't allow me to access the internet. After about fifteen minutes, I was able to wipe whatever she had downloaded, and even gave her some great malware protection. Once that was done, it was extremely easy to recover her essay. She looked overjoyed as the familiar document pulled up on the screen, right where she left off.

"Oh! Yes! Thank you!" she cried, leaping up from her seat and grasping the computer.

"It's not a big deal," I assured her.

"Yes, it is," she said with a stern expression. "You just saved me tons of work. Ugh, I can't thank you enough."

"Well, luckily, I do this sort of thing for a living."

"Damn, what are the odds," she laughed as she ran her hands through her hair. "I'm sorry, but, that damn near gave me a heart attack."

"Well, just make sure that you let that malware protection run daily, just to be safe. Plus, always backup your files."

"I will. Thanks again, um..."

"Levi."

"Levi," she repeated, holding out her hand. "Sorry that it took so long for us to formally meet. Um, listen, how much do I owe you?"

"Nothing!" I cried, putting my hands up in the air like I was under arrest. "Please, this is on the house. Consider it my neighborly duty."

"Well, how about some beer? I've got some Redd's Apple Ale in the fridge, plus, I could make some Hot Pockets."

I casually accepted, while, inside my head, I was giddy from the high of being to help the object of my lust. It felt just like being in school again. Back then, girls would ask me all the time to fix their computers, and would show their gratitude with money, food, or party invites. Most times, the reward was just having them know my name so that they could refer me to their other hot friends with computer issues. Now, all these years of being a geek were finally paying off.

I followed Sylvia into the kitchen, and she seemed totally different from the sullen-faced, sex-starved woman that I had imagined in my head. It turned out that she was a bit of a geek herself. She astounded me with her knowledge of TV shows, anime, and movies. We sat around talking for a couple of hours, long after the Hot Pockets and beer were done. Not only was she attractive, she was cool; it figures that she would be taken, too.

"Ugh, it's nice to have some pleasant conversation for once," Sylvia said. "I've been doing nothing except work and school since we moved here."

"Don't you have any people that you hang out with?" I asked her.

"Not really. Once in a while, I'll hang out with Andy's friends from the station and their wives, but we're not really tight."

"Is he a cop?"

"Paramedic. We moved here because they offered him more money than his last job."

"How long have you guys been together?"

"Fourteen years."

I went goggle-eyed. "WHAT?!? You guys look so young!"

Sylvia laughed at my reaction. "Yeah, thanks, we get that a lot. We got married when he was 19 and I was 20. After we graduated high school, I worked while he went to EMT and Paramedic school. Eventually, I realized that I wasn't going to get a great job with a high school diploma, so I went back to school a few years ago."

"Is that why you don't have any kids?" I automatically slapped my hand over my mouth and looked at her with an expression of the utmost horror. "I'm sorry...I think that's the beer talking; I'm a lightweight."

"It's okay," she assured me. "We actually don't want kids. I had my tubes tied when I was 23. I've got 8 brothers and 4 sisters by different fathers, so that turned me off to wanting kids. Thankfully, my husband feels the same way."

"That's good," I said in relief.

"Yeah, plus I don't think I can handle them right now, especially with me working and going to school full time. We're not broke, but we're not exactly loaded with cash. Plus, I'm in my last semester before I graduate this December with my Bachelors in Marketing. As soon as I get my degree, I'm getting a decent job, and we'll have enough money to MOVE OUT OF HERE AND INTO OUR OWN HOUSE. WHOO!" We laughed as she rose from her seat and waved her hands in the air.

"Well, I know you guys will get there soon."

"I hope so, for both our sakes," Sylvia said as she sat back down. "By the way, I'm sorry if our shouting has kept you up."

"What shouting?" I said, feigning ignorance as best as I could.

"Oh, come on, Levi. All of our neighbors have complained directly to us, except you, and you live next door. What does that say?"

"Look, you guys seem cool," I said. "I'm sure things are a little rough right now, but it'll get better. If it's eating at you that much, then consider the food and conversation you gave me as us being even."

"But, you wouldn't have even been over here if you hadn't come over to fix my computer, so we're NOT even. How about I make some dinner for the two of us?"

"I don't want to keep you from finishing your essay. I should probably go." I started to rise from my seat.

"So you can have more wet dreams about me?"

It seemed as though my legs suddenly gave out on me, causing me to fall back into my chair. My heart sunk down into my gut, and my ears burned as if the AC had gone out. Unable to think, I responded with an automatic, "What?!?"

Sylvia smiled. "See, Levi, the thin wall thing goes both ways. You can hear me, and I can hear you. Andrew's busy all the time, working 24 shifts, so I pretty much sleep in the guest room, which is riiiiight next to your room. Are you following me?"

"What's your point?" I asked with trepidation.

"My point is that you talk in your sleep sometimes, and I can hear it through the wall."

"That could have been a movie playing in my room. My laptop has great sound."

"True. But I think it would be a huge coincidence if the movie had the line, 'Sylvia Tucker, give me those mom tits.'"

My defense was shattered. I stood there, totally ready to give a confession, followed by an apology, followed by a promise not to speak to her anymore. In my mind, I was trying to decide whether or not moving to another home was feasible at the moment.

Before I could even pick any of those actions, she got up from her seat and lifted her shirt over her head. I could practically hear my dick hit the underside of the table as she bared her breasts to me. They were all that I had dreamed of, we both knew that. I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful, teardrop-shaped udders that hung gracefully from her chest.

Smiling at my amazed expression, she walked over to my side, her shirt still in her hands. She stood over me, her nipples hard with anticipation. For some reason, I was still sitting, staring at her in all of her topless glory.

"Listen, Levi. I like you, and I think we can help each other out, but, I don't want to make you do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. If you want to leave, then that's fine; I respect that. I'd still like to hang out with you in the future as a friend."

"Okay," I rasped, struggling to keep my eyes off of her chest.

"However, I'd really like you to fuck me. I'm not looking to make love. If I wanted someone to make love to me, I'd have my husband do it on a day that he's not tired and hungry from work."

"Okay."

"So, you can either stay and have some fun, or leave. But, you should know two things: first, my husband won't be home until 9 AM tomorrow, and, second, if you leave, I'm gonna go to the guest room and shove my dildo up my pussy. Thanks to these thin walls, you'll probably be able to hear me."

Having said that, she turned around and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me to stare in amazement. My body was burning with desire, and I could feel the pre-cum leaking into my boxers. On the one hand, I could go home and mind my business. On the other hand, I could stay here and have sex with my extremely horny neighbor. But what if her husband came home early?

"Is pussy really worth getting my ass beat by a paramedic?" I asked quietly to myself.

"Leviiiiiii," I heard Sylvia call in a sing-song voice from the depths of the house. "I didn't hear the front door open!"

Fuck this.

With a bravery that was mostly fueled by lust, and probably beer, I got up from my chair and marched towards the master bedroom. Waiting for me was Sylvia, sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling at me. I stood in the doorway, noting her eyes were stuck on the tent in my pants

"So, you just gonna stand there?" Sylvia asked with an amused expression on her face.

With a deep breath, I strode into the room. She rose from her bed as I walked up to her. As soon as she was standing, I buried my face into her chest. Immediately, my mouth went to her swollen pink nipples, sucking them and prodding them with my tongue. She giggled and moaned as I motorboated her, clutching my head so close to her breasts that I thought for half a second that she meant to suffocate me.

"Ohhhhhh," I moaned. "I always dreamed of sucking on these tits!"

"I know, remember?" Sylvia whispered. "I heard everything through the wall."

I looked up to see her in ecstasy; her hands were roving through her hair, her eyes were shut tight, and her mouth agape as she reveled in the attention that I lavished on her bosom. I continued to suckle her left breast while massaging her right one.

"Oh, enough of this," she snarled, pushing me away before yanking her shorts and panties down. "You know what I want. Fuck me now!"

I gazed longingly at the wet slit between her legs, which was adorned with a beautiful trimmed patch of hair. In a few seconds, my clothes joined hers on the floor. I saw her eyes roving all over my body. Suddenly, I began to wish that I'd made an effort in the past to visit a gym; my lanky, thin frame was definitely not something that would arouse a woman. Still, I looked over on the bed to see Sylvia giddily spreading her legs, beckoning me to enter her.

"Where do you keep the condoms?" I asked, starting towards the nightstand "I just need to...ungh!"

Without warning, Sylvia leapt off of the bed, and put her arms around my waist. With an angry look on her face, she began to hump my thigh. Shivers of pleasure jolted up my spine as I felt her soaked pussy leaving its glistening juices all over my bare skin.

"I told you, I've had my tubes tied!" Sylvia growled "Don't make me beg! FUCK ME! This is how I want you to do it! Fuck me like an animal!"

With a grunt, I began to fulfil her request. I grabbed her by the arms and pushed her back onto the bed. She laughed as she tumbled onto the mattress, laughing as she lay on her back. I leapt on top of her and stuck my dick into her hungry love-hole.

The warm, gooey wetness that suddenly enveloped my dick was a sensation that I had dreamed of; I'd never gone in raw before. My eyes fluttered, as the feeling of penetration racked my body. Beneath me, Sylvia was shivering as she pulled me in to the hilt. The two of us writhed as our loins became one.

"Ohhhhhh, yeah!" Sylvia crowed. "Jeez, I almost came...just from you sticking it in! AHHH!"

My only reply was to wince and groan, still overcome with so many feelings. I, too, wanted to cum; my sexual drought had been so long, that it had left me with little staying power.

"Fuck me, now," Sylvia said, looking deep into my eyes as she ran her hands all over my chest. "Stir up my guts, Levi."

I began humping her soaked twat with reckless abandon. Sylvia yelped with every inward thrust, which was also coupled with the sound of our bare skin slapping against each other. I could feel my dick getting wet, but I wasn't sure if it was because my juices or hers.

Unwillingly, my mind went back to my first time having sex. It was 2008, and I was a freshman sitting in the dorm room of Rachel Levens, a porky sophomore from New Hampshire. We had met in the same "Introduction to Visual Basic" class, and frequently studied together. After months of hanging out, I finally mustered up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend, which gained me a few minutes of wet, sloppy kissing. I still remember her breaking off the kiss, going into her roommates' desk, and tossing me some condoms before going into her bathroom without a word.