© 2023 MildlyAroused. All rights reserved. This publication, in part or full, may not be reproduced or used in any way without expressed permission from the author, except in that which is transformative or critical in nature. If you see this publication elsewhere, it has been copied without permission.
As someone who writes fiction, I'm new to this variant. I've read several stories here in the past but this is my first attempt at writing one; all feedback is welcome! I'd recommend checking my bio for more about me, particularly if you like what you read; I'm planning on writing more stories soon. And, of course, all feedback is welcomed with open arms! Also anyone who is keen on a continuation of this story, let me know.
All characters are eighteen years or older. All characters and incidents are fictitious.
--------
She's Just a Friend.
In some ways I wish it would end all at once, like the blowing of a bulb: in disloyalty, or accusations, or a shouting match. But it hasn't yet, so we limp on, still together. Me and my Ella, my girlfriend, the love of my life. This time last year I first said I loved her; today, I tell her the same over the phone, while a friend urges me on with her hand around my cock.
Don't think so ill of me. I tried. I gave her all, that Ella—my Ella. But like a piano, we're drifting slowly, slowly out of tune. People speak of break-ups, but nobody speaks of this terrible limbo we're in, where heartbreak must happen but we're both just holding on for dear life. It's more painful this way, somehow, without closure, with the final melancholy note yet to come.
The friend who ends up with my cock in her hand is Amber. We've always been close, and indeed I once hoped something would happen between us, before Ella fell into my life. Amber and I take history together—something of a jealous point for Ella, with whom I share no classes. On more than one occasion, when pressed about all the time I spent with Amber, I assured Ella that she was a friend and nothing more, and certainly nothing to worry about.
Incidentally, that's what Ella and I argued about last night. We made up, and I slept with her in my arms, my hands roaming the body I knew better than my own. And yet she didn't come to school today, citing sickness; I think she's sulking. More and more these days Ella and I aren't on good terms. Less and less do we hang out, be it movies or cuddles or sex. And, though the thought leaves me guilty as it does aroused, more and more these days I've imagined Amber in her place... Amber's smile, and Amber's voice, and Amber's naked body for me to press myself against in the comfort of fresh bed sheets.
As I said, Amber and I take history together, four times a week. The sun is high, and seems not to care about this classroom's lack of air con: it scalds the back of every student, and leaves me sweating in my thick uniform. There's a documentary on the projector. Beside me, Amber is sketching something in the corner of her book, her hair brushing the desktop. Her neck is glistening with sweat, and I can't help but stare at her pale skin above the blue hem of her uniform, below her black hair which shrouds her face, and imagine its smoothness and dampness, perhaps at my fingertips, or under my lips. There is a little mole akin to a beauty spot, just below her left ear, that's always suited her so well. Suddenly, she moves.
I scarcely stop myself staring before she looks up at me and smiles. "This is thrilling."
"Oh." I meet her eyes, olive green and bright. "Tell me about it."
"I mean, I dunno about you." She shrugs. "But for me, there's nothing quite like the world's dullest fucking lesson to wake you up on a Monday morning."
There's a little smile, teasing her lips. I see a sliver of her tongue, and my heart bleats like a lamb; and indeed bleeds like one, for the feeling in my gut is one best reserved for Ella. I called her the love of my life, remember? This feeling is for her. And it was, until a few months prior, when the catching of Amber's gleaming eye when I least expected it, or a flash of her stomach as she took off a jumper began to provoke the same swooping feeling, close to nausea, inside me.
It's a Monday like any other, unremarkable, just one mundane day in a set of seven. How then, does it crescendo in that phone call? The little things add up, see: the recent distance with Ella, that heat which makes Amber's neck glisten as though with oil, and the fact the boy that ordinarily sits in our row is away today, and the pure coincidence it is (or was it me watching her?) that meant I had a hard-on in my trousers at the exact moment she looked up and smiled at me, with those teeth and those eyes which scrunch up in their bright sort of amusement—all these things, they make the perfect storm. I check my phone so as to flatten out my trousers, and Ella smiles out at me from my lockscreen. It'd be a lie to say her smile has the effect Amber's had.
Amber is looking now. She sets down her pen. "How... how are things between you two?"
"Mm. You know." I shove my phone back in my pocket and glance over at her. I can't hold her eye contact for long. "It's whatever. Same old."
"Still rough?"
I sigh. "Still rough. But she's quitting work soon, and I'll be done with school so... we'll hang out more. I hope."
"You know I'm here." Amber taps the back of my hand with her pen, then closes her fingertips on my thumb with a squeeze. We stare at each other. "I'm always here. Even in such riveting times as these, you know how it is."
"Yeah. I know."
I squeeze her hand back, the way I did even when Ella and I were at our best those months ago. There's nothing abnormal in our touching. There's a flush in my cheeks, not just provoked by raw attraction, or heat. Amber was the first I told about Ella when we started dating, and indeed always the keenest to hear me gush about our dates and relationship. Beyond the feeling in my gut and crotch, there's a deeper appreciation because I know it's true: she'll listen, and talk, and she'll never let jealousy or anxiety impede on her affection.
"God, it's hot. These fucking uniforms..." I pull away and flap my shirt back and forth at my chest. "What's it meant to get to?"
"Thirty-three, today." She looks me up and down. "Untuck your shirt. No wonder you're baking."
"No." I stare at the front of the class, where the teacher is so far leant back in her chair she might be a corpse. "You know how strict she is."
"Oh, come on. It's under the desk." She reaches for me. "She's not gonna see anything."
"Stop. Get off. She'll fuck me up, Amber." My heart is not in my protests.
"I'll fuck you up. Look." She tugs my shirt so as to untuck it, and reaches right around me to untuck the other side. Her hair falls momentarily into my lap. "There we go. No fuss."
The projector buzzes away in its mundane manner. Amber turns her gaze, but I think not her attention, to it. Having had her tug out my shirt I feel not cooler, but the opposite. She doodles on her page again, biting a lip, her dimples showing. My eyes stray to her hands, her arms. I've always had a thing for arms, and hers are very smooth. I turn my eyes to my desk, the nausea in my stomach building. There is something in the air between us today, in that perfect storm, like an electric shock waiting to happen.