Here's the original title that wouldn't fit: "Silvery Hair and Golden Opportunities."
Sometimes, the weirdest stuff just happens. That's life; I understand. Unfortunately for me, it tends to hit me more oftentimes than not, as bad luck; a deer running out in front of my car and DXing the front end, or getting my phone run over by a delivery truck. Just stupid shit like that. I have never found a lonely female hitchhiker looking for a ride in the middle of the desert, except the one time I did, my dad was with me, and it was in town. WTF?! Could someone please tell me why my luck is so bad?! Especially when it comes to women?
So the other day, I got a call from my best friend and bro, Trevor, asking for some help with his aunt, who was holed up in a nursing home or something.
"Hey Man!" he addressed me via my cell phone. "My Aunt Glenda needs her meds picked up and I'm out of town. I know you live about twenty miles away, but would you please pick her meds up and take them to her? I promise, I'll comp you, and pick up the cost at the shooting range next time."
"Yeah, it's okay," I grumbled, "but you owe me, Bro."
I dropped by the pharmacy and paid for Glenda's meds. It wasn't too terribly expensive I suppose, but it drained most of my available cash, and I was a little annoyed about the situation. I was still feeling annoyed when I went to the Shady Oaks Retirement Community to drop them off.
I parked my car and entered the facility. To my surprise, it looked nothing like what I had expected. It had an almost spa-like air to it. This was certainly no nursing home! There was a faux waterfall to my left, with tinkling waters and LED lighting, and a giant flat screen TV to my right that was obviously tuned to HGTV.
"May I help you?" a young female voice called out.
I turned to my right and focused my attention on a rather gorgeous twenty-something babe with naturally light red hair, alluring doe eyes, nice hooters and nodded in reply.
"Um, yeah... I'm looking for Glenda Carroll." I replied, my annoyance fading quickly at the sight of her.
"Are you a friend or family member?" the doe-eyed goddess inquired.
"Umm, neither and both I guess." I managed to reply. "I have her meds. Her nephew is a friend of mine, and he asked me to pick her stuff up and drop it off. I didn't know it would be this difficult though."
"I see." Miss Doe Eyes noted. "May I see your prescriptions, please, and do you have some identification?"
"Umm, yeah." I said, faltering as I stared at her. "Here you go."
I offered the prescriptions for Trevor's Aunt Glenda, as well as my driver's license, and the doe-eyed goddess nodded approvingly.
"She's in Room 114, Mr. Dawson. I'll let her know you are on the way."
"Thank you." I responded politely. "You are so sweet. I'm Jack. What is your name?"
"Kayleigh," she replied, "but my friends call me Leigh."
Before I could respond, she added:
"But my closest friends call me Kay."
I smiled as flirtatiously as I could.
"I'll be back soon, Kay."
She smiled and pursed her lips.
"Don't be too sure about that." she replied. "You're a good looking dude. If you can make it back here without losing your load, I'll be very surprised."
I was of course, at a loss for words. I had no idea what the drop-dead gorgeous, doe-eyed redhead named Kay meant, but I was determined to find out! I found Aunt Glenda's room and knocked on the door.
"Hi there!" she greeted me enthusiastically, in a pleasant Southern drawl. "You must be Trevor's friend. Please, come in."
I nodded in response.
"Yes." I replied, as I stepped inside. "I have your meds."
"Oh, I need those, Sonny Boy." she replied. "It keeps my old heart going, and the Grim Reaper off my ass for the others!"
I smiled at her remark, and took the time to actually look at her. She could have been anywhere from her mid sixties to mid seventies, but she was still really pretty. Unlike most women used to do, she had not had her hair whacked off, and it was her natural silver color that hung halfway down her back that really caught my attention. It had an almost bluish hue to it, that no dye could ever hope to duplicate.
I don't know why, but gray hair is really hot on a woman. Years ago, they would just get their hair cut off, which was a huge turn-off. Then, they started keeping their long locks, but dyeing it with Winter Wheat blonde, which gives that silvery-blonde color that is so overdone now. Even women in their twenties are using it now, and it just doesn't look right. To my surprise, Glenda was naturally gray, and she looked really hot. I handed her the package of medications and did my best to make conversation with her.
"If Trevor had told me how attractive you are, I'd have come here a lot sooner." I said, trying my best to be flirtatious.
Glenda eyed me suspiciously.
"And why is that?" she inquired. "Do you have an Oedipus Complex or something?"
"No," I replied, "but you're really pretty. Were you a model when you were younger? You have great features, and your gray hair is pretty hip right now. You'd shoot well."
"How would you know?" she asked.
"I'm a photographer." I explained. "I typically shoot nudes, but there are magazines looking for models of your age range too."
"Nude, or regular?" she inquired. "You're confusing me."
"Well, I meant standard photo shoots, but there is a growing market for nude models in their sixties, seventies and even eighties now." I said.
"Would you like to shoot me nude?" Glenda inquired. "What would it pay?"
I certainly wasn't expecting this when Trevor called me, but I was beginning to like the direction in which it was heading.
"It depends. A day shoot on location would pay more, but if you want a quickie in your room, I'd give you fifty dollars." I offered, feeling a tingle in my loins, and the beginning of an erection that soon followed.
Somehow, the thought of seeing this old broad without her clothes on was turning me on, and I was actually wanting to see her strip nude and show it all off in front of me. Glenda extended her arm with an outstretched palm and wiggled her fingers.
"Deal!" she said enthusiastically. "Put it here!"
"I spent more than that on your meds." I responded. "Wanna use this against that?"