"Throuple is such a stupid made-up word. There's already a beautiful phrase in French that perfectly describes what Vicki and I want, the three of us to be more than just people who have sex with each other. What we want is a mΓ©nage Γ trois, a true household of three, with commitment to each other. Though we can't legally marry we do want to have a ceremony, even if it's just the three of us, and we want vows."
The three of us were sitting around the kitchen table, sipping wine. I wasn't at all sure that Vicki had enough wine in her pantry to help me through this conversation. Things had become a bit awkward after our bedroom session and Vicki's confession of love. She and Jenny had years to come to terms with their feelings but it was new to me. I felt like I was on a small boat on the ocean and a meteor had just struck nearby. One thing that had become clear to me, I now understood Jenny's desire to watch people have sex. The experience is not at all like watching porn, it's unscripted and raw, and you can smell the passion. I wanted to watch them again, and again, join them, and unleash our passion for each other. But love another woman? That was unfathomable. Jenny was my life and I'd never considered leaving her.
"We both love you, Bryan, we both want to be with you," Vicki said as they each took one of my hands.
"Jenny, I don't know that I can love another woman, even if it is your sister. Yes, sex with her is great -."
"He thinks I'm a better lover," Vicki interrupted with a smile.
"Wow, you really mean no secrets, don't you," I shook my head and scowled at her.
"All the more reason for you to want her to move in," Jenny looked at me, "I'm not surprised that you feel that way. I've seen the two of you together after all. It's obvious to me that you two have more passion than you and I do, and I don't care. I want the two of you to have those experiences. Besides, our sex life has improved since you two started having sex. Why wouldn't I want better sex with my husband?"
"Move in? You want to be a household of three, living together. Do we share expenses? Do we jointly own property? Have the two of you thought this through?" I asked.
"Yes, yes, yes, and yes," Vicki responded. "The company I work for has an office just a short commute from your house. I've already inquired about a transfer and was told that it could be arranged. I would get a raise because where you live is more expensive than here."
"But Jenny, won't you feel cheated if I love another woman? I mean, what if I want to spend more time with Vicki? What if we decide to run off together? What if, what if, what if!"
I tossed back half a glass of wine and paced the kitchen.
"I'm not running off with you, jackass. I love my sister, and as you saw, I quite enjoy sex with her. You'll never break our family bond and I will never run off with the man my sister loves!" Vicki responded angrily.
Jenny smiled sweetly, reaching for my hand. I paced to her and she squeezed my hand.
"That's why we want the commitment among the three of us. We'll draw up some kind of legal paperwork that makes it difficult for us to split by intermingling assets and such. We are talking about a commitment for the rest of our lives, Bryan. Just like our wedding vows."
"I love you, Bryan, and I love my sister," Vicki said as she took my other hand, "I want to live with the two of you. I want to enjoy your body as well as my sister's body. I miss her. This morning was the first time in years that we've made love to each other and I don't want to give that up again."
"You've lusted after my sister for years," Jenny said, "you can't tell me you have no feelings for her other than as your sister-in-law."
"No, I don't feel that way. You know how guys are, we think with our dicks. Vicki has always been off-limits, until now. So I fantasized about fucking her, but I never developed feelings. That would be like falling in love with an actress you see in a movie just because you're attracted to her. We've never had a chance to get to know each other in a way that leads to love. We've never had a chance to make up after a fight, to work through relationship issues, or to find common interests. We've done none of the things that people who fall in love do. You can't just snap your fingers and make me fall in love with your sister!"
A look of shock came over Jenny's face, she finally understood.
"Omigod, Bryan, you're so right! I've not allowed you to fall in love, I'm asking you to just suddenly love her. I'm rushing things. I'm sorry."
She burst into tears and ran out of the kitchen. I stood to follow and looked down at Vicki.
"I'm not saying that I'll never love you the way she wants me to, but she's had my heart for so long. I, we, need to find a way to make room for you, and that will take time."
I found Jenny in the guest bedroom, crying into her pillow. I laid next to her and held her until the worst of her crying subsided, then kissed some of her tears away.
"You have to give me time, Jenny. Give me time to get used to this idea of loving another woman. Help me find room in my heart for her because every inch is currently occupied by the love of my life, you. It's going to take some time and effort by all of us. Most of all it's going to take sacrifice by you. Are you ready to give me up a little so that she can have a place in my life? Are you truly ready for that?"
"Yes! I've thought about this for a long time. I --."
"And I've had only a few hours to think about it," I interrupted.
"I'm sorry. I can't fathom how you feel right now. I can see now that I went about this wrong. You need time to develop feelings for her."
"That's all I ask, my love. If this is truly what your heart desires, then I will do my best to give it to you. You know that, don't you?"
She nodded, "Yes, you are so good to me. Too good sometimes. I can't imagine loving anyone el--." She stopped mid-word.
"You can't imagine loving anyone else, I know."
"But I'm asking you to do it, to love someone else. Oh god, I'm such a fool for thinking it would just happen because you are physically attracted to her. Now I understand."
"I locked her out of my heart because I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you. That door has never been opened and it's going to take a lot of work, but I have an idea."