I must admit that when I first met Hodan "Danni" Suleiman, the possibility that she might be a dominatrix never occurred to me. The prim and proper, hijab-wearing, short but cute Somali sister walking through the halls of Carleton University in her long skirt, with the Koran tucked under her arm seemed like the picture of Islamic feminine decency and responsibility. The kind of Muslim sister any Muslim man would be proud to introduce to his family as his chosen one. Shows much I know about women, including my Muslim sisters, eh? The name is Rafiq Khalid and I've got a story to share with you.
It is a common flaw and weakness among men of all races that we feel we have the right to date/marry women of any color or background while the ladies from our communities ought to remain untouched, our select prizes. I'm no exception. I was born and raised in the City of Ottawa, Ontario. My parents, Halima and Hassan Khalid moved to Ontario, Canada, from Somaliland in the 1980s, and had little old me, along with my sisters Halima and Maymuna. I grew up to be a six-foot-tall, lean and athletic, dark-skinned Somali brother with curly hair and almond-shaped brown eyes. A lot of Somali brothers living in the Capital are wasting their time smoking, committing petty crimes and chasing women. Hell, some brothers can do all three at the same time.
Me? I'm the Somali brother you never hear about. The good one. I study my Koran, I obey my father and mother just like the principles of the Prophet Mohammed teach me, and I stay in school. I don't drink, smoke or run around sleeping with different women. A good Muslim man shouldn't be a man-whore. Just like the Koran teaches, we ought to remain celibate until marriage and avoid sexual temptation. Ninety percent of Muslim guys living in North America or Europe don't obey that rule. They sleep with anything that moves. Of course, when our Muslim sisters imitate that kind of behavior, brothers get mad and punish them harshly. And they see absolutely nothing wrong with that double standard.
Well, I'm happy to say that I am not like the others. I am not a hypocrite. I am a good-hearted, God-fearing black man and a proud Muslim. I want to get my business degree from Carleton University and become a successful businessman. I want to be a good example for the Somali Canadian community. Yeah, as you can see I've got big dreams. Unfortunately, this is where reality sets in. You see, in the Somali Canadian community, brothers who are pious and believe in education, hard work and family are considered uncool by our Somali sisters. The brothers who are way too westernized, with their low-hanging pants, their rap music, their weed-smoking and hard drinking, they're considered cool by our sisters. Good brothers like me don't get no love from the ladies in the Somali Canadian community. What's a brother to do?
While walking through the hallways of my school, I run into a lot of Muslim sisters from places like Somalia, Djibouti, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Kenya and Somaliland. Those are the six places where you will find most of the world's Somali population. We're a widespread bunch. Tons of us live in places like Ontario and Quebec in Canada along with Michigan and Minnesota in the United States. We're a great people, or at least, we've got the potential to be a great people. Unfortunately, we don't unite. At Carleton, it's every Somali man for himself. Hell, the Arab students are more united than we are.
Given this sad state of the affairs, I shouldn't be surprised when I started seeing Somali sisters walking around with Arab guys and even white guys. To be fair, I'd seen a few Somali brothers walking around with white girls and in some cases South Asian girls but for the most part, it's Somali women dealing with guys from other communities. What does that tell you? Somali sisters are starting to lose confidence in their own brothers. They think we're not good enough for them anymore, so they're making goo-goo eyes at white guys and Arab guys. As a proud Somali brother who hopes to marry a sister from my culture, what am I supposed to do?