So, um, I was at the University of Alberta library in downtown Edmonton, quietly doing research for my Law term paper due in three days when I actually saw something...amazing. I was taking a much needed study break after hours of writing, and since all the coffee I'd been drinking shot straight through me, a brother had to pee quite badly. When nature calls, all must obey.
I was coming out of the washroom when I saw...her. A big-booty Somali woman of apparent middle years, clad in a traditional Islamic long skirt and the Hijab...all the while bending over to pick up something. Guess what happened next? Instantly I got a boner, and although I tried my best to conceal it, the sweatpants I had do did nothing to help. Dammit.
"As Salam Alaikum brother," the Somali lady, who was pushing a cleaner's cart, said to me with a warm smile. I blinked nervously, and paused before nodding and answering. I am kind of a shy guy, which often surprises people since I'm a six-foot-two, dark-skinned brother with a hefty build.
"Good morning sister, how are you?" I said at last, answering the Somali lady's greeting. The lady paused, put one hand on her cart, and another on her hips. I took a good look at her. At least five feet ten inches tall, curvy and in her own way, quite lovely. If I had the guts, I'd call her a MILF.
"You must be new around here, brother, I'm Hodan Ismail," the lady said, extending her hand for me to shake. I hesitated briefly, then smiled and took her lovely hand in mine. I shook Hodan's hand gently, looking into her lovely, soulful dark brown eyes.
"I'm new to the school, yes, my name is Adam Clovis," I said evenly, and Hodan and I made small talk. A lot of the students at the University of Alberta in Edmonton are uptight, and narrow-minded. As in they wouldn't be caught dead talking to a cleaner. I am not one of them. I am the son of Haitian refugees who moved to Canada from the island of Haiti a little over a decade ago.
There are a lot of Somali students in the University of Alberta, and not a lot of Haitians, though our numbers are growing. I've only been here a year and haven't made that many friends. I miss the City of Montreal, Quebec, where my family stays. Sometimes I curse myself for accepting a scholarship to a promising university that's so damn far from home.
"Good luck in your studies, brother Adam, Masha' Allah," Hodan said, waving me goodbye. I nodded respectfully, and went back to my seat. People stared at me as I walked by in the library. Even though Alberta is becoming more racially diverse due to an influx of Somali, South Asian and Arab immigrants, it's still very much redneck country.
"Dude, you were gone a while, I was about to leave," said Max Chang, this short Asian dude I met in my legal ethics class. I sat next to him, thanked him for looking after my stuff, and then put on my headphones. I resumed writing the Law paper, while listening to Linkin Park's song What I've Done, which served as the background for an epic Dragonball Z video I really like.
"Sorry Max, I was busy," I said absentmindedly, looking at my little buddy as I felt him staring at me pointedly. Max is a cool guy usually, but no one will ever accuse him of being the most patient man in the universe. Max smiled, shook his head, rolled his eyes and resumed playing Solitaire on his PC.
I was on page nine of my twenty-page paper when I heard a noise and looked up from my PC. I smiled when I saw Miss Hodan, the Somali cleaning lady, walk by with her cart. I smiled and waved at her, and much to my relief, she returned the gesture. Max looked at her as she walked away, then smiled knowingly at me.
"Got MILF, bro?" Max whispered, in his best Steve Stifler impression. Max is an international student from Zhuzhou, southern China, and much to my everlasting amusement and occasional annoyance, he watched all the American Pie movies plus old-school like Animal House to prepare himself for a "North American university experience." I don't have the heart to tell him that the reality is far different at Canadian schools. I'm going to let Max figure this one out for himself.
"Dude, I don't know what you're talking about," I said with a smile, and discreetly checked out Hodan as she made her way to the elevators. Dammit, that woman has a booty. I've got a thing for Somali ladies, man. I grew up in an area full of Somalis and Arabs in Montreal, and they've always held a special attraction in my eyes. Maybe it's because they're Muslim, and for a Catholic guy like me, the ultimate forbidden fruit.
A couple of hours later, I went to the university center and grabbed a bite in the school cafeteria. Guess who I saw grabbing a bite at Tim Horton's? I walked up to Hodan, who was just done with her work, and smiled at her. "Adam again, small world, my brother," Hodan said, grinning.
"Indeed, ma'am, please let me get you a drink or something," I said hesitantly, and Hodan looked me up and down, and finally smiled and nodded. Okay, the pretty Somali lady is willing to grab a bite with me. Cool. Let's see where I can take this from there, I thought.
A few minutes later, I sat at a table with Hodan, and we talked a bit. "New to Alberta I take it," Hodan said, smiling at me while sipping her coffee. I nodded, wondering if I had Montreal, Quebec, written on my forehead somewhere or something. People always guess that I'm from out of province, even though I lost any traces of a Haitian accent after spending over a decade in Montreal.
"Montreal raised and damn proud of it sister," I said wistfully, pointing to my P.K. Subban sweatshirt. I love the Montreal Canadiens fiery defenceman, he's proof that brothers can excel at anything, including ice hockey, which many consider to be the dominion of white males.
If more brothers start playing, we'll eventually dominate this sport. I'm sure of it. Black men are physically strong and athletic, the whole frigging world knows that. That's why they're trying to discourage black guys from playing certain sports. Face it, we tend to dominate every physical activity we partake in. Nobody can deny that.
Hodan Ismail looked at me, an odd look in her lovely eyes. "Tell me more about yourself, Adam Fleur," she whispered, her fingers brushing against my hand as she did so. A frisson coursed through me, and I did my best to answer the lady's missive.