Joseph walked into the bar to escape the searing Carolina heat and immediately felt the blast of the A/C on his face and neck. He found a chair at the bar and gratefully sat down. Looking at the bar menu he tried to work out what to order but swiftly gave up as he didn't know what most of the things on the menu where. Sighing he looked over to the barmaid who was cleaning glasses at the other side of the bar. The first thing he noticed was her beautiful long red hair pulled into a pony tail and that she had a pair of glasses perched on her head.
"Excuse me" he called to her.
She walked over holding a small blue hand towel that she used for drying the glasses. "Hey what can I get you?" She said in lovely lilting Carolina accent.
"May I please have a cold beer and also could you tell me what's best to order from the menu?"
"Sure thing honey" she replied as she started to pull the beer. "You're not from round here are you?"
He laughed "What gave it away, the accent or lack of knowledge about local cuisine?"
"Well" she said with a smile "the Hugh Grant accent was certainly a clue."
As she turned he couldn't help but notice her shapely bottom and fine legs in the skin tight black leggings she was wearing. It looked like he'd found a good place to stop, a very good place indeed.
"So, where you from slugger?" she asked setting the beer down in front of him.
"England or more specifically God's own county of Oxfordshire" he said savoring the cold liquid sliding down his throat.
"Like where the university is?" she asked.
Joseph smiled to himself, no matter where in the world you went everyone immediately thought of the university. It was good that it was famous for something he supposed but being that 95% of the people in Oxfordshire had never been to one of the famous colleges it probably wasn't that representative.
"Yes, where the university is although I'm not one of the alumni" he answered as he stared again at the menu.
"What the heck is Livermush?" He exclaimed "it doesn't sound greatly appetizing."
The barmaid laughed as she touched his arm and took the menu from his grasp. "Leave it to me honey and I'll fix you something nice."
As she walked through a door behind the bar he couldn't help but notice her bum again in those leggings, and he felt a stirring in his jeans. To distract himself from a uncomfortable problem Joseph looked around the bar and noticed the wood paneled walls and the big mirror behind the bar. There was a young couple arguing in the corner about some naked photos on the young man's phone that weren't the lady he was arguing with. Joseph shook his head and sighed, why keep evidence of your crime on your phone?
"Here you are sweetie" said the barmaid as she set a plate down in front of him "it's a cats head biscuit and a slice of big boy tomato and some ham on the side."
Joseph started to demolish the meal only realizing how hungry he was as he started eating. "Thank you very much this is delicious" he said between mouthfuls.
"No problem honey, what's your name?" The barmaid asked.
