Steamboat Springs New Start Pt 09

Part 9, Resolution

What the fuck brought all this on? With the heavy petting in the shower and her reaction, I certainly did not come away with impression that there were any problems, overt or underlying. Maybe she felt she lost control and wanted to make sure she got it back. Sure, fucking was on my mind, but it wasn't going to be rape. I wasn't thinking about grabbing a quickie or a one-night stand. We were getting to know each other and build a relationship. Maybe just a sexual relationship, but something seemed to have been developing. Why did she think I just wanted to rape her? I want a loving relationship. I've never had one before, so I am lost in the wilderness. I would appreciate her help in getting un-lost. But I didn't want a surrogate mother. Shit. I guess words don't always mean what you think they do. I'm still on thin ice here.

I think I still have a chance with Steph, but only Saturday will tell. There are two days to stew on what was said. I have no idea of what to say to convince her that I am on her side. Hell, I am willing to be a subordinate partner, 40/60 if that's what she wants. I need to figure out what she wants and what it is about me that made her think I was not the guy she wanted. The bath house was a quiet place as I cleaned off the dirt and sweat of the day and the heavy feelings from the most recent conversation with Steph. I got back to my room and crashed for the night. My brain told me it was going to be a long night of fitful sleep.

I was getting very tired of watching digital numbers flash by, one by one, once a minute, 60 times an hour. I may have gotten some sleep, but I couldn't say so for sure. I'm just glad it is a digital clock and not a ticking clock. The monotonous drone of a ticking clock would have driven me to suicide by now. Hopefully this bullshit was nearly done and I could get on with life. The alarm finally told me I could get out of bed and start moving. The long night watch came to an end.

The next day at work went very well. The coffee pot was a hit and someone even set up a tip jar for when they snuck a cup. Every little bit helped in building my coffee, supply chain empire. Brenda was even nice to me, inviting me to the office to settle up my IOU. God, I hope she is just messing with me. She is a scary woman. I was able to keep up with work orders and continued to have spare time to help the framers, plumbers and electricians. Paul approved of my initiative and encouraged me to help as much as I could. I needed to broaden my skill base. This was a good life lesson.

My job in the building trades was a lucky find. I was beginning to enjoy the work and daily challenges. And the money I earned was a living wage for Steamboat Springs. I had more to learn and management on the site was willing to let me dip my toes into other areas of the construction business. I was set for as long as there was construction on the base area of Steamboat.

After work I went to the grocery to get dinner, breakfast and lunch. It sucked not having a refrigerator that would let me store several days' worth of food. At least the forays to the grocer gave me something to spend my spare time on. I also needed to get quarters for the washer and dryer. Laundry was getting a little ripe in the corner of my room. At least that was once a week for now. I walked by the flower stand and decided to take a chance on a small bouquet of flowers for Steph. I didn't think that kind of gesture could cause to much damage before Saturday. If it was the wrong move, I would only make that mistake once.

I got into Deb's line and waited my turn. She was being friendly towards all the locals who were stocking up. My cart wasn't really full, so check out would be quick and easy. When I got to the head of the line, Deb saw the flowers and her eyes lit up. That must be a woman thing...

"For me?" she asked. I think she was trying to be serious, or at least a serious flirt. Deb was attractive, no doubt about that. She seemed fun and friendly. But I knew I was in a very precarious position with my present relationship and didn't want to ruin any chances I still had with Steph.

"No, I'm sorry. Someone else. But now I know you like flowers."

"Women love flowers, silly. Well, you need to get her a card. Pay me for it now and you can get one as you leave the store."

I settled up and found a nice card that basically said "Thanks for being my best friend". I didn't want to give a romantic themed card. I figured the flowers would be good enough in that regard. Not really knowing how to proceed, I didn't want to go too far overboard. I got to The Barn and went straight to the office to drop off the flowers and card. Steph was there and her approach was cordial. So, I gave her the gifts and told her I had to go. She thanked me and we went our separate ways.

Tomorrow would be Saturday. I would finally find out what was going to happen. Would I be able to build a relationship with Steph, or was I done? It was going to be a long 20 hours. I was in for a little more restful night. My mind had finally started coming to grips with all the drama, so I wasn't spending all night thinking about different outcomes. The day of reckoning was upon me. So, I went to bed.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, I had a very restful night. I fell asleep very quickly and slept soundly until the alarm went off. I did have short, meaningless dreams, but they were fairly mundane things and they weren't the problem-solving kind of dreams that woke you up in sweat. It was a nice sleep and I woke up rested and ready for a new day of work. Praise be to the Gods of a quiet mind and good sleep.

My Saturday work shift went by quickly. Coffee was a good start for everyone. The crews were making good progress on framing. I got to cut up a lot of lumber for the work orders. The other finishing crews were putting in electrics and plumbing. So, I got to do a lot of kitting of materials to keep them readily supplied with critical materials during the day and for Sunday if they came in to work. Everybody was busy and happy. That made my day go quickly and quitting time rolled around. Today I got my first delivery of dry wall. Soon there would be a finishing crew and I would be providing them with interior walls, texture, paint, lighting and all the other stuff they would need.

The crews were going for beers at the Cave Inn and asked me to come along. They told me that Brenda had been asking about me and that I could tap her any time I wanted. I begged off because I had "Previous Plans". I cleaned up my work area and got ready to lock up. Paul stopped me and told me I needed to cover the pile of drywall because rain was expected and wet dry wall would be a big loss and my fault. Luckily, I had huge rolls of plastic I could use to cover the drywall. I was out the gate in time for the foreman to padlock the gate for the night. Time to find out how my life was going to go in the near future.

I got to The Barn, dug out a change of clothes, got my kit and headed to the bath house. I took a hot shower and shaved. I put on my fresh clothes and headed back to my room. The dirty clothes went into the duffle bag and I was ready to find out what was going to be decided. I didn't know what I was going to say. I knew I would listen to Steph and hopefully I would have answers to any questions she raised. Time to go.

I went to the office and there was a closed sign in the window. A knock on the door went unanswered. Going around to the other side of the office building I found the back door was open. I stuck my head inside and said:

"Hello?"

"In the living room. Come in." Steph called back to me.

I walked back to the living room and found Steph on the sofa with a drink on the coffee table. There was a pitcher and another glass. She wore a simple, short sleeved, button-down shirt and a loose pair of mid-calf shorts. I moved the comfy chair closer to the coffee table and asked:

"May I?" gesturing at the comfy chair.

"Please."

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. The formality was like a pair of hands clenched around my neck. I was having difficulty breathing and maintaining an even keel. This was more like a sentencing than a discussion. I poured a drink and sat down. The silence was killing me. So, I started.

"I apologize for any discomfort I have caused you. I'm an ignorant mamma's boy who grew up in Denver. I never had a serious relationship with a woman. I am clueless. But I like you. I've liked you since the first day, when you were so nice to me, when I was looking for a place to live. You've been so kind to me ever since. You didn't need to be and I probably took advantage of your kindness. I'm sorry"

Steph listened carefully to what I had to say.

"When you first came into the office, I saw you were an adult moving to a new town. It takes courage to move to a new location to build a better life. I admired that in you. As I got to know you, it became apparent that you were running away from a previous life, probably hunting for a new one, but not knowing what that new life would be. That was a big red flag. I had to figure out if you were looking for a woman to take care of you, or if you simply had no idea how to be an equal partner in a relationship. I now think that it is the latter."

Steph had me figured out. She was spot on with her conclusions. Where did she want to go from here?

"You are right. I don't know how to treat a woman as an equal. I don't know what a woman wants from a man in the way of courtesy and commitment. I never had to learn that. I never saw it in my own household. I grew up stupid. And that is a bad thing for you and me. For the relationship you want, you will have to teach me how to coexist with you. I am willing to learn. Do you have the time and patience to educate me?" I asked.

"You and I see the same things right now. I have high expectations for how a man will treat me. I want to be loved unconditionally. I want to be valued for who I am and what I contribute to the relationship. I expect a certain amount of courtesy, chivalry, if you will. I expect total commitment to the journey of building a lasting relationship. I didn't plan on building the best man for me, not from the ground up. It would be nice to have some kind of foundation already in place." She replied.

"I guess that means I am a disappointment to you. Did I actually hurt you or, were you just responding to a gut feeling?" I wondered.

"I was hurt when I began giving you biscuits and got no sign of appreciation in return. Kind of the same thing with your thermos. Words like "Thanks" are cheap and don't mean much to me. I expect thoughtful acts to be repaid in kind. Groceries cost money. Cooking food takes time. I know we have hard work schedules but building a relationship takes time and effort. It's something we have to work at. I thought you would have acknowledged what I was doing for you with more than just a simple, verbal thanks." She said.

"I understand that now. And I will make efforts to assist you in things we do for each other." My past life experiences were biting me in the ass. I didn't know what to do for her because I had never done that before in life. I was a blank slate in a very bad way.

"We had a fairly intense sexual experience last weekend, I enjoyed what you did to me and for me, and I think you enjoyed yourself too. I have to admit to you that I lost control of what we were doing. I shouldn't have let it get that far. It's ended up hurting you and putting me in an awkward position. I should have established rules before we got that far." She stressed.

"I was just going along with you, following your lead. I thought you were okay with what we did, even encouraged it. Was I wrong?" I asked.

"No, you weren't wrong. I was sending all the wrong signals. I got caught up in the moment. I was horny and I was acting on instinct, not sensibility. I probably over reacted the next time we talked. I was mad at myself and took it out on you. Now you have seen a bit of my dark side." She was being apologetic to me.

"If we move forward, I know there are some fences to mend and bridges to rebuild. I do not plan on making big changes, if any, on how I value my body and how I share it with a man. You will probably have to make the most changes to build this relationship. It doesn't really sound like you ever had a long term, meaningful relationship with a woman in the past." She was right.

"My only long-term relationship with a woman was with my mom and I totally took advantage of her. I learned my manhood skills from my dad. He was a bad role model. Now that I am on my own, I am beginning to see what a shitty son I was. I don't know how my mom was able to put up with us, me especially." I had to admit my failures as a man to Steph.

"I am really glad we met. You were friendly and helpful. Setting up my lodging was simple and you took a great load off my shoulders, with me being new in town, and all. And your suggestion on the Ptarmigan also helped me get a job. And, after knowing you for a couple of weeks, makes me want to get to know you even more. You seem like a really nice woman. And, I would like to spend more time with you." That was my plea and I could only wait for her reply.

"Okay, Jim. You seem honest and sincere in how you feel. I can accept that you are socially inept with women due to your home situation. I will give you an opportunity to learn who I am and what I need to make myself happy with a personal relationship. I want to give you a chance to grow with a new understanding of a woman, such as myself, and what I expect a kind and decent man to be like when he is around me. Be prepared for real time learning situations when you are not meeting my expectations. If you can embrace this concept then I think we can begin to explore more options with our relationship. How does this sound to you?" She asked.

"I am willing to give it a try. If I do something that seems out of line, I hope we can have a talk to find out if I am missing what you want or if there is a middle ground we can agree on." I wanted to learn how to make Steph happy but I didn't want to be domineered by a woman wearing black leather, brandishing a whip.

"I can live with that. It sounds fair to me that our growth should be a two-way street. Hopefully we won't have to come back to this kind of a faceoff ever again. It is too stressful and not worth it to me. I think this experience has created a solid foundation of understanding we can build our relationship on." Steph concluded.

"Me too. Can I have a hug?" I asked.

"Of course. Come here." Steph stood up and met me in the middle. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I hugged her around her shoulders. She put the side of her head against my shoulder and I leaned my cheek into her forehead. We held that embrace for a couple of minutes. She pulled her head back and looked up into my eyes. I leaned into her a bit and stopped. She closed her eyes and we kissed. It was not tongues and grinding. It was just soft lips pressed gently together. We both gave each other a big squeeze and separated.

"Would you like a glass of wine?" She asked.

"Yes, that would be nice. Do you want me to build a fire in the pit?"

"No, let's build one in the fireplace." Steph got the wine and I set about getting a fire going in the fireplace.

Steph came into the living room and set two glasses and a chilled bottle of wine on the coffee table. And then she sat down on the sofa and watched me arrange paper and kindling into a small pile in the hearth and set it alight. The kindling took quickly so, I added a couple of small splits and watched them start. I finally placed a piece of wood on the fire and watched it catch. A slow process that started the perfect fire to sit and watch.

I went back to the sofa and sat next to Steph.

"May I?" as asked, as I motioned to the wine.

"Yes, please." She answered.

I poured 2 glasses of wine and put the bottle back in the chiller. I picked up both glasses and handed one to Steph. We looked each other in the eyes, I said "Cheers" and we both took a sip. We both set our glasses back on the coffee table and settled back into the cushions on the sofa. I was wondering if we should snuggle but Steph was a step ahead of me, lifting my arm up and over her head and around her shoulders. She turned and leaned into me, sliding her right arm under my back and placing her left hand on my chest.

"This is nice. Your fire is just right. Thank you."

I didn't expect to be in a position like this ever again with Steph, and certainly not so soon. Earlier in the day I thought we were done. Now, I am on a couch, snuggling, arms around each other with a romantic fire in the fire place. I had to think carefully. A thoughtless man would just grab her tits and pussy and start rubbing away. Don't do that, you idiot! I brought my right hand up and placed it on her left hand. I used my finger tips to gently stroke the back of her hand. She held me a little tighter with both arms and snuggled into my side a little more.

"That feels good..." She said.

So, I didn't fuck up my first move. I stroked the back of her hand for several minutes. Steph doesn't want to rush anything. I can take my time. Be relaxed. Don't rush. This is for her. There are things I want to do with her body. But it is her body, her body to share with me. She has to give me her approval. She doesn't have to let me do anything I want. She has to want to let me. She wants to share. Not just give, give, give with nothing in return.

I pulled my right hand back until we were fingertip to fingertip and laced my fingers in between hers. I slid my hand back into her hand, and now our hands were locked together. This was a safe way to bring ourselves close together, skin to skin.

The thought came to my mind to use my left hand to grab Steph's nipple or tit. They were right there. So close. But that would be the inconsiderate man Steph had described a short while ago. It was wrong, grabbing at tits and nipples as objects only for his own satisfaction, not caring about the person whose body had them. No, I won't go for that. She wants slow and considerate. Take my time. Let her guide me if she needs to. Enjoy the moment with her.

Her head was also within close reach of my left hand. And I could smell the lavender scent of hair conditioner on her scalp and hair. It would be just as nice to run my fingers through her sandy locks and gently stroke her scalp. That's what I should do. So, I lifted my left hand off her arm and brought it up to her head. I put my finger tips through her hair and onto her scalp. I combed my fingers through her hair and gently stroked her scalp. Her hair was soft and her scalp was so smooth. God, I bet her head would be beautiful even if the hair was shaved off. It felt perfect. I stopped to massage the back of her head and the start of her neck. She tilted her head forward for me and exhaled deeply.

Time went by. We held each other and I stroked and massaged her head, neck and hand. She nuzzled into me. She felt warm and relaxed. The wood on the fire was almost burned through, so I needed to add a new piece. I moved a bit and Steph knew something was up. She looked up at me.

"Let me put a little more wood on the fire to maintain the mood." I said.

"That will be nice..."

Steph sat back up and let me go to the hearth. I picked out two pieces of wood and placed them on the grate. They would burn down to the rest of the coals and make nice, lingering embers before the fire finally went out. I went back to the sofa where Steph was waiting with a happy smile. She had pulled a light blanket from the arm of the sofa and spread it on her lap. I sat down next to Steph and she put part of the blanket over my lap as well.