Still Compelled

Two weeks passed before Amanda contacted Chris again. Or to be more specific before she accepted contact from Chris. He had sent her three emails telling her how great she had been and how much he had enjoyed 'using' her, and how much he was looking forward to a repeat performance. The emails came for the first week and then they stopped. After that Amanda had not heard from Chris.

Amanda had come away from the experience with mixed emotions. Self disgust, humiliation, even revolution with herself, and anger at Chris for making her do all those things. She was fully aware that she had agreed to go there for the purpose of submitting to him and to allow him to tie her up, but the way he had used her and forced her to beg him for sex, not to mention the language he had forced her to use had not been part of the agreed plan.

The real trouble though was that she had not been able to go more than an hour or two for the entire two weeks without thinking about what had happened. Each night she had lain in bed next to her husband Ben, riddled with guilt, but as he slept she re-lived the night over and over, her hand sneaking between her legs to stroke and play with herself.

And each morning she woke feeling tired and drained from lack of sleep, and felt dirty and angry with herself for having allowed herself to think about it and for wanting it to happen all over again.

Her husband Ben noticed that Amanda seemed to be distracted and grumpy, but after asking what was the matter with her and being told it was nothing, just that she was busy and tired from work, he let it slide, after all, he knew exactly how that felt, he was so busy himself with work, so he decided to let it run it's course for a while. If she was still that way when he got back from his next trip away he would maybe see about taking her on a holiday or something. In fact, he decided, that was a great idea and he mentioned it to her.

'Listen Honey, I have to go away with work again, leaving next Thursday, and it will be for a week this time.'

Ben saw the look on Amanda's face and rushed on.

'Why don't we go away for a holiday when I get back? We could both use a break. Anywhere you want to go, within reason of course. I mean, we can't afford a trip to Europe or anything quite like that, but we could lash out a bit, couldn't we?'

Amanda was ecstatic! That would be just the thing to take her mind off what was constantly preoccupying her and to spend some time with her husband. They discussed it at length, passing ideas back and forth and agreed to keep working on it to come up with something they would both enjoy.

That night they made love for the first time since Amanda had allowed herself to be treated as a sex slave. Ben had been so busy with work that he had not noticed any lack of interest by his wife to have sex, and Amanda was so guilty over what she had allowed herself to do that she had not wanted to have Ben touch her. Their love making was simple and straight forward, and while Ben seemed to enjoy it, Amanda felt he had done it as a chore rather than any passionate need to ravish his wife.

After they had finished, Ben had rolled over and fallen asleep almost immediately. Amanda lay in the dark and rolled onto her side away from him. She tried to go to sleep, but she couldn't help comparing the lovemaking they had just had with the debaucherous sex she had had with Chris two weeks ago. As she lay there in the dark and quiet of the night, her hand stole between her legs again as she re-lived once more the night at Chris's, and she teased herself without wanting to.

Her finger traced the outline of her sex, and she used Ben's semen to lubricate herself, rubbing it all over her labia and clit. She quietly moaned into the night as she brought herself to an orgasm, thinking about being tied and helpless. As she approached her orgasm, in her mind she was tied as she had been at Chris's, but there was also a faceless stranger standing there watching her as she climaxed. Once she had finished, she felt disgust with herself again, but also satisfied. It wasn't a good position to be in, wanting to be defiled that way and wanting the feelings to go away at the same time, but at least it took the edge off her frustration, and finally she could sleep.

Amanda contacted Chris the next morning as soon as Ben left for work. She replied to his last email in which he expressed his desire to repeat the last performance they had had together. She informed him that she would like to see him again, but that she would like to come to his house only to discuss things. In the email she stated that she felt they had gone too far last time, that she had let herself take things far beyond what she felt was a safe, sane level, and that she would like to take things back a few steps.

Later that evening she checked her email and there was no reply from Chris. Indeed there was no reply the next day nor the day after, and Amanda was starting to think the worst. She was starting to believe that she had done the wrong thing by not replying to Chris and that he would not want to see her again.

'Perhaps he really does think I'm a slut,' she thought. 'Perhaps he has had his fun and doesn't want to see me again, doesn't want to do 'things' with me again!?'

That night as she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, the thought occurred to her that she would not only miss Chris, but that she needed him for what he did to her. Where would she find another man that was both safe and deviant and trustworthy at the same time? And with the realization that she needed to have the debaucheries he inflicted on her, that she now had to have someone treat her as a slut, as a sex slave, to be used and defiled, Amanda quietly cried herself to sleep.

The following day she received a reply from Chris. It was short and curt and didn't convey whether he was willing to take things back a peg or two or not.

'It is nice to hear from you Amanda. I trust things are well with you, although I have wondered as I have not heard from you for nearly two weeks. You are always welcome to come over to see me. When did you have in mind? Chris. X' signed with a single kiss.

In her head she knew he was being terse because she had waited so long to contact him, but emotions were telling her she had almost alienated him because of her childish sulking.

Amanda called Chris straight away after receiving his email and tried to explain to him that she had just needed a little space after their last encounter together and that everything was fine.

By the end of their conversation Chris sounded much more himself to Amanda, and she felt both better and worse for promising to come and see him on the Thursday night that Ben was leaving.

Over the following days leading up to Ben's trip away, Amanda alternated between wanting to call Chris and tell him that she would not be able to see him after all, that she had had a change of heart and would not be able to see him again. But she also wanted the days to rush by so that she could go to him and explain how she felt, that she both needed the excitement and debauchery of his company.

Half way through the week Ben informed Amanda that he would be leaving on the Friday instead of the Thursday as planned, but would be back by the following weekend for sure. Amanda accepted this, after all there was nothing she could do and it really didn't change anything except add another day to the time before she could see Chris again. In the mean time she and Ben continued to discuss ideas for their holiday together. She did however email Chris to let him know it would be another day longer before she could come and see him.

Eventually the Friday came around and Ben hopped on a plane to leave for his business trip. That afternoon Amanda spent preparing herself for her visit at Chris's house. She took a long hot bath and shaved her legs and lay back contemplating whether to back out at the last moment. She thought long and hard and eventually convinced herself she was only going around to talk with him. She was determined that nothing would happen this time, it would be just talk. She did however sit herself on the edge of the bath, lather herself and carefully shave her pussy, taking particular care that she got every stray pubic hair, leaving her groin perfectly smooth but for the little tuft of hair on her mound.

'Why am I doing this,' she asked herself, 'if I'm not going to let anything happen?'

'Because you want something to happen!' another voice inside her head answered. 'Be honest with yourself, you really enjoyed yourself last time. In fact, it was the most exciting and thrilling sexual adventure of your life.'

And Amanda knew that it was true. She tried in vain once more to convince herself that she didn't want anything to happen and that it wasn't true, she loved her husband and didn't want to hurt him.

'Yes, that's true, but he doesn't have to know, does he? And if he doesn't know, it really won't hurt him. And he doesn't to the things to you you want done to you, and never will, does he? Does he?!! And now that you have tasted and fed your desires, you need more. So go back one more time. At least once more.'

And so Amanda convinced herself that even though she was only going to see Chris to talk, she would still dress to kill. She could always revel in the way he would look at her and desire her!

She teased her auburn hair so that it had an orderly yet wild look to it. She applied makeup so that she looked both refined with a hint of vampishness about her. She wore a white satin top that wasn't see-through, but she didn't wear a bra and her nipples showed clearly, hardening as the material moved back and forth across them. Under her leather skirt that came down to half way between her hips and her knees she wore dark stockings with a dark purple suspender belt and matching lace panties. Her shoes were dark stilettos to compliment the colour of her stockings and skirt.

Before pulling her panties and skirt on, Amanda turned and looked at her arse in her full length mirror and thought to herself that for a woman her age she really didn't have a bad bum.

'In fact,' she thought as she pivoted, 'I really don't have that bad a body at all. If I were a man I would want to ravish me!'

Pulling on her skirt though, she appraised herself once again and once more had second thoughts about the wisdom of what she was doing. Still, as she looked at her reflection, she had to admit to herself that she was not too bad at all.

Feeling almost as nervous as she was the first time she visited Chris, Amanda watched the clock waiting for the minutes to tick by before she left. She jumped, startled, and her thoughts were shattered by the ringing of the telephone.

Answering it, she heard Ben on the other end. They talked for several minutes about nothing in particular and agreed he would call her again on Sunday night. Hanging up, Amanda saw the time had come for her to make a decision.

Having spoken to Ben, she felt guilty all over again for the things she had done with Chris in the past and for wanting to go to see him again now. She sat down at the computer and sipped from her glass of wine.

As she stared at the monitor she thought to herself that this was where it had all started, although as she pondered, she realized that was not quite true. She knew she had been having some wild fantasies long before browsing on the computer. And it was then that it dawned on her that one way or another she was bound to have broken out and done something rash. The fantasies had become more frequent and more debased as the months had gone on. A need had built in her that had had to be satisfied one way or another.

The reality was that she had been extremely luck that her first real contact had been with Chris because he had fulfilled just about everything she had wanted to do, had been patient and kind, and was safe and discrete.

Yes, as she sat there sipping her wine, she realized that Chris had been a blessing and she was lucky to have such an inventive lover who was happy to fulfill her needs without encroaching on her day to day life.

Finishing her wine in a gulp, she placed the glass on the desk and got up. Tonight would bring whatever it would bring, she decided. And with that thought came a tingling right through her body. She grabbed her keys and headed out the door to see Chris, before she changed her mind again.

She arrived at his door and knocked without hesitation, however she waited nervously for the few seconds it took him to open it.

As the door swung open, Chris caught sight of her.

'God! You look.......Gorgeous!!' he exclaimed.

As she stepped through the door, Amanda kissed Chris full on the lips and said, 'Why thank you kind Sir.'

'Come in,' he invited her, his hand caressing her leather covered arse as she walked by. 'I was just opening a bottle of wine, would you like a drink?'

'Yes please, that would be very nice thank you.'

Amanda entered and moved through the house toward the kitchen, where there was a bottle of wine sitting on the bench, a bottle opener beside it. Chris followed Amanda, admiring her anew, watching her firm arse as it seductively moved as she walked. Grabbing a couple of glasses, Chris poured and offered one to Amanda.

'Why don't we move into the lounge? It will be more comfortable,' Chris suggested.

Once seated on the lounge, Amanda curled her legs underneath her, the way women do. Chris sat on the same lounge chair, turned toward her and raised his glass. They touched glasses together and Chris said, 'It's so nice to see you again. You look divine.' They chatted back and forth for a few minutes before Chris broached the issue Amanda seemed to be having.

'So, tell me, what's been troubling you?'

'Well, I know this is going to sound silly, but I just felt that things got a bit out of hand last time. I know I told you my fantasies, and I know I agree to come here and live them out, but it just seemed a little over the top, that's all. I felt I had gone too far. As I said, I know it sounds silly, but there it is.'

'That's ok,' Chris said. 'What exactly did you feel went too far?'

'Ok, this is embarrassing. Um, there were just a couple of things. For instance, I don't like using swear words like the one you made me use. It made me feel.....I don't know...cheap. And I'm not too sure about begging you to do things to me either,' she said without being able to look at him.

Chris leaned over and lifted Amanda's chin with his finger, so that she had to look at. He smiled at her reassuringly and said,

'It's ok, we just have to work things out a little. After all, we are just getting to really know each other. I don't want to do anything that you don't want me to do. I won't make you use that sort of language again. As for begging, well......' he left the sentence unfinished with a smile in his voice and on his lips.

Amanda couldn't help but smile as well, and her fears melted away as she sat with her knees touching Chris's, his hand cupping her face and his thumb caressing her cheek.

'Thank you for understanding,' she replied as she kissed the palm of his hand. 'You really are so considerate.'

'As I said, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do.'

Amanda moved so that she was snuggled up against his chest, his arm around her, and they sat that way for quite a while, sometimes in silence, sometimes in small talk, each sipping their wine. Slowly, Amanda relaxed and felt that things were going to be alright again.

What had started out as a one night stand had slowly turned into an affair, whether she wanted it to or not. She didn't want anything emotional out of this, but it was very nice to feel comfortable with this man. And she couldn't escape the fact that he turned her on like no other man ever had. Even as she sat there, she could feel herself starting to fantasize about the night ahead, and she had only come here with the intention of talking things out with Chris, or at least that was what she had tried to convince herself of anyway.

'Chris?'

'Hmm?'

'Do you mind if I go to bed with you tonight? But nothing kinky, ok? I'd like a night of straight passion. Is that ok with you?'

'My dear lady, I am happy to please you in any way that you would like. If you don't ever want me to tie you up again, I can live with that,' he lied.

'Oh no!' she replied quickly. 'I mean, err, that's nice occasionally, even more than occasionally really.' She muttered.

'Tonight we will just lie in bed and you can climb on top and ride me to your heart's content. Would you like that?'

'Yes,' she purred as she cuddled into him again. 'That would be just great.'

'But tell me, honestly, didn't you enjoy our last time together?' he asked quietly. 'Didn't you like being tied up, having any control taken away from you, and didn't you like being taken to the edge where you would do anything to go over?'

'Honestly? Yes I did. But I'm still not too sure about being taken to the edge. I mean, I liked it, I really liked it, but I can see it being dangerous where I could do things I would later regret. And I know when I fell over the edge it was fantastic, but it frightens me as well. And there were some things I did regret that I've told you about. And I feel guilty as well. I mean, I am cheating on my husband.'

'Sure, I understand. As far as your husband goes, I am not going to try to steal you away from him. We agreed on that at the start. This is purely fun for both of us. And you must admit, he doesn't do the things that I do to you and probably never will.'

'No, he would never do those sorts of things to me, and in truth I could never bring myself to ask him to.'

'As for taking you over the edge,' Chris said, 'Well, really, what harm is there in it. And you have to admit, you did have a great time. It's not really that much different than us going to bed now. What I mean is that it is between us and nobody else is it? It's not hurting anyone or us for that matter, other than a little spanking and whipping,' he said with that smile in his voice again.

'No, I guess not. It just might take me a bit of time to get used to someone, um, spanking me, and err, tying me up and looking at me when I'm like that and even worse,' she rushed on, 'doing the things you did to me! You did some very naughty things to me, so you did!'

And with that she sat up and gave him a playful whack on the chest with the flat of her hand.

'Naughty was it? Well, how's this for naughty?' he asked as he returned her playfulness and pushed her head down into his lap.

Pretending to struggle, Amanda rubbed her face back and forth across Chris's groin and using her hands to 'try' to push away; she gave him a squeeze and could feel him becoming harder by the second. She 'struggled' for a moment longer before undoing his fly and taking his hardening cock out, grasped it in one hand and then took it into her mouth in one go. She was very pleased to hear Chris moan loudly.

'Ah!! God that feels so good! You do that sooooo well. You must have been a very naughty school girl, giving all the boys head jobs behind the shed, were you?' he asked knowing that she could only mumble around his now fully erect penis as he held his hand on the back of her head, holding her in place.

She continued to pleasure him, swirling her tongue around his shaft, gently sucking on him as he continued to moan, letting her know just how much he appreciated her efforts.

He removed his hand, allowing her to raise her head, but she remained there for another minute or so, bobbing up and down on him before she lifted her head and looked at him. Even then, she masturbated him with her hand as she spoke to him.

'Take me to bed?'

'Oh yes! With pleasure,' he replied.