It was the early afternoon and the shop I owned was doing intermittent business. I put this down to the weather. It had been drizzling rain all day and that was the best part of the forecast. The worst of the forecast was for severe thunderstorms. You know the sort of thing, lightning, thunder, heavy rain, hail, even heavier rain. The sort of storm that tells you it's time to pitch camp in the middle of a desert. Still, with a bit of luck the main storm would hold off for a few hours and the shop would be closed and I'd be at home.
Next thing I know the front of the shop lit up as lightning flashed nearby and there was a tremendous clap of thunder, the bass note within it making you feel it in your bones.
Now the shop I rented was in a mall, which was probably the only reason I had any customers that day. Every so often someone doing serious shopping would stop by my place and browse around. I was very close to an entrance so I got a lot of passing by custom. It also meant that when the heavens descended with flash and fury just outside the entrance everyone in my shop got the full benefit of it.
With that flash and great roll of thunder came a terrified scream. I was out of the back-room like a shot, wanting to know who was hurt and how badly. If they got hurt in my shop I could be sued, even if the accident wasn't my fault. Hell, some people would sue you if they got hit by lightning while on your property.
The only person in the shop was Anne, my assistant. Quite a good one, too. She's a pretty young thing of about twenty and a born saleswoman. I'm a good salesman but I freely admit she's better. She was just standing in the middle of the shop, white as a ghost, and trembling.
I'm all, "What happened?" and she was just looking scared and standing there.
"Listen, Anne, whatever the problem, would you like to knock off now and go home? I can manage the shop for the rest of the day."
She promptly grabbed hold of me and held me tight, her hands tangled in my shirt.
"Leave the shop and go out into that?" she nearly screamed. "Are you mad? Will you look at that weather?"
I didn't need to look. I could hear the rain thundering down and was glad my car was under shelter. No hailstone damage for me.
"Um, OK, point taken, but I'm a little lost here. Help me out. What happened?"
The answer came with another flash of lightning and peal of thunder. Anne screamed again and just about jumped onto me. Riiiight, I thought. Scared of thunder.
"Um, worrying about the weather won't make it any better," I told her and got a scornful look in reply.
"I know that," she told me. "I just can't help it. I was standing near a tree once that got hit by lightning and the tree just disintegrated. I've been scared of storms ever since. I know it's silly seeing I'm inside but I just can't help it."
"Fair enough, I guess, but I can't have you screaming the place down when there are customers here. You'll drive them away and they'll send security to speak to me, claiming I'm beating you. We need a way to distract you from the weather."
Anne nodded agreement but shrugged at the idea of suggesting anything. Didn't I think she'd have found something long ago if she could? I mused, had one idea, laughed and dismissed it.
She was fast on the uptake. She knew I'd thought of something and was demanding to know what it was.
"Nothing really," I said quickly, shaking my head.
It's no use not telling a woman something. She fixed gimlet eyes on me and asked me again what had I thought of.
"It was just a thought that you could be distracted about fretting about the weather by having to fret about something else, something harmless in itself that you could control."
"That's not all," she protested. "You thought of something."
"Well, if you really want to know," I said with an evil smile, "I was thinking that you should take your panties off."
