It had been a couple months since my last weak relationship ended. Outwardly, it seemed to have all the right ingredients, yet I never felt comfortable with her. Adding to my frustration was being sick of the city I was in. Recently, I even inquired about a transfer with my employer. With Christmas approaching, I didn't feel much like celebrating. I needed a change.
Wanting to get myself out of a rut, I returned to an online dating site I swore I'd never use again. Oh, lucky me, I still had some unused credits. Skeptically, I edited both my profile and what I was looking for.
What was I looking for? I really didn't know. If love came along, I'd embrace it. If naughty fun came along, I'd embrace that too. I decided to be much more open this time, having learned that the perfect recipe isn't always perfect. So here I am, a 34-year-old guy in the city, looking to get out there...
As I browsed through profile after profile, I found I had a bias against the fancy type of city girl. I wanted something more than superficial. A profile soon caught my eye. Rebecca was 27 and lived outside of the city, and her profile and photos gave off a good, natural vibe. She looked down-to-earth, confident, and adventurous; she had some wild travel pictures. Her main photo was obviously cropped from a climbing photo; the mountains in the background, hooded REI jacket, no makeup, and windblown red cheeks gave it away. I messaged her:
"Could a mountain girl get along with a water guy?
She responded, "There is a lot of water in the mountains, you know."
And just like that, we were messaging back and forth. I made it a point to avoid lengthy chatting and suggested we get a drink the next night. That would be a Monday, but she had plans; we then immediately agreed to meet on Tuesday.
I'd drive out to her area, and we'd meet at a neighborhood pub. I didn't know the spot, but she told me she'd be outside on the bench. I followed her directions to the place, parked, looked up, and there she was, about 50 feet away. She stood up when she saw me. It was winter and she was bundled up in a North Face, but I immediately noticed how good her snug-fitting jeans looked--I could tell she had the legs of a skier. We exchanged our awkward first hellos and had a light hug. I sensed some mutual relief that we both came as advertised.
I opened the large wooden door for her, and we walked into the cozy lodge-like establishment richly decorated for Christmas. We removed our jackets at the table, and I had the opportunity to get a good look at her. She stood about 5'8" with long, dark brown hair in a simple ponytail. Her form-fitting cream-colored cable knit sweater was both outdoorsy and sexy. I could tell she had an athletic body and breasts larger than what could be detected in the photos. She wore little makeup, but in person, she was prettier than her action-shot-laden profile led me to believe.
The conversation came easy as we exchanged stories of our adventures, travels, and yes - skiing. I learned she lived in the area her whole life and was working in a medical clinic as she studied for a master's degree. Time flew by as we enjoyed a couple of beers and shared some appetizers. I liked her. Don't blow this, Paul, I thought to myself. We both had to work early, so we decided it was time to call it a night. Outside, we had a much better hug and went our separate ways.
On the drive home, I debated with myself if I should have kissed her. On one hand, we had a great time, and I wanted to show my interest. On the other hand, it probably wasn't the best spot at the front door, and I didn't want to come on too strong, too soon.
I messaged her on Wednesday night to tell her how much I enjoyed meeting her. She agreed and then, a short while later, said the dreaded words, "You're a really nice guy."
Ugg, this never goes anywhere good. She was about to move away from me, so I called her.
As she answered, I said, "You can't nice-guy me already!"
"Nice isn't bad!" she said as she laughed. "You're very polite and a gentleman."
"But?" I said.
"I don't know. What??" She responded.
"It was a first date; of course, I was a gentleman. I always am. But I'm not always nice."
"You're not nice? I've known a few of those types."
"Of course I'm nice, but not the lame nice guy."
"Well, now I'm confused," she chuckled.
"So, if you're not looking for a nice guy, what are you looking for?" I questioned.
"I don't know, maybe just some excitement or something interesting; I'm bored. Maybe the holidays just have me down and skeptical. But a gentleman is still good."
I could tell that she found the back-and-forth amusing and probably liked me challenging her assumptions. But now what? I thought I just needed to throw something crazy out there.
I bluntly asked, "Ever play strip poker?"
"Haha, no, never! She responded. "I don't even know how to play poker. Why?"
"Let me teach you," I assured her.
"What part, poker or stripping?"
"Poker. I'm going to assume you know how to take off your clothes. Unless you're too nice for that sort of thing."
"Ha! OK, Saturday?"
What? She really agreed to it? I was just trying to spice up the conversation; I didn't think she'd actually go for it. We set it up. Saturday, 7:30 at my place.
I heard from her on Thursday, and I dreaded that she would back out as I read the message. Good news! She was just asking for poker rules! I sent her some sites to learn a basic five-card draw. But she still warned me to coach her before we played and warned me that she would be bundled up in layers.
By the time Saturday afternoon rolled around, I had my place looking good and had made a long-overdue repair to the gas fireplace. I even dug out my small fake Christmas tree and made an effort to be festive and cozy. I made sure to have some of the Winter Ale she ordered at the pub available, as well as some wine. The cards and chips were checked and stored in the desk drawer.
I had warned her about parking, and about 10 minutes early, she rang from the lobby. I buzzed her up and opened the door. Before I could say anything, she triumphantly declared she found parking right in front - a Christmas miracle!