Suds Awakening

Men know the feeling when you wake up with your balls being absolutely sucked cleaned drained the night before. It is a nice light feeling. You feel fresh in a way.

When I woke up after the car date night, I felt exactly that. I felt light and ready to have a productive day. Then I touched my phone. Sud had bombarded with texts through the night between 3 and 5 in the morning. She had even called. She wanted to wake me up. Then I scrolled up and saw the reason for all this.

The sextape.

Me: Hey. You know people sleep at night.

Immediately, Sud replied: BRB. School time.

I made coffee, got a shower, read my papers and started working on my pending deliverables. I was zooming through work at lightspeed. Then 30 mins later, the phone rings.

Sud: Can you spare 10 minutes for me? Where are you?

Me: I am in the middle of work Sud. What's up?

Sud: Please. Please.

Me: What's up?

Sud: No, I want 10 mins. You can afford not to work for 10 mins. Please.

Me: You are not making sense. What do you want?

Sud: Please, I beg of you. Just 10 mins. Right now.

Her voice had an urgency which was making me panic. What the hell did she want?

Me: If you don't tell me Sud, I can't

Sud: I said 10 mins! 10 mins! Is your time so valuable? 10 mins!

She screamed.

Me: Calm down. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Sud: I will call you again.

She was gone. I was flummoxed. What the hell was going on? What was she going to do in 10 mins? What was I supposed to do? Just like that, my productive streak was broken. Damn it. I waited for her call. I was impatient.

The phone rang again. It was a video call.

Me: Ok, I am intrigued. What's going on?

Sud was in her washroom. They were well to do. The washroom was spacious and had affluence showing with the lights and fittings. She was in her house casual wear. She was looking at me. Her face had frustration written all over it.

Me: Sud, you gonna say something? I was working, and I need to get back.

Sud: You will not fuck me, will you at least watch? I need a release. Please. Please! I am losing my mind. I was up the whole fucking night. Please.

Wow, I wasn't expecting that. Sud wanted me to watch while she helped herself to the orgasm I denied.

Me: Why do I need to watch?

Sud broke into hysteric tones, "because it isn't fucking working without you!"

I was elated inside. But I kept a poker face.

Me: How is that?

Sud started rubbing herself over her PJs.

Sud: I fucking tried doing it by myself. I initiated sex this morning with Shan thinking of you. But it didn't work. It wasn't working for me. I came back in here trying to get what he couldn't give me. It fucking isn't working.

I watched, silent. I was dumbstruck. I was formulating a response.

Sud: Please, please just stay and watch. I will do it for you. I want to do it right here in front of you.

Her voice was trembling with emotion and pleading. She could burst into tears any moment. I felt proud of what I had done to her. I also felt very strongly a sense of guilt at denying her sexual urges an outlet.

Me: Fine. What are you waiting for then? Take those things off.

Sud was in a hurry. She quickly got rid of her top and her PJs. I could see she had tried a lot. Her lingerie was not the one she was wearing with me on the date. But it was meant to seduce. She had tried to get action from her husband.

Me: Are you wearing this because you tried to get laid and didn't?

She had already started rubbing her clit. Her one hand was inside her thong. The other was pulling the thong down. She bit her lips and nodded.

Me: Tell me about that.

Sud: Unnfff unnnffff. I wanted to be fucked. I badly...Unfffff...needed. I asked him ...morning unnffffff

I had the desire to touch myself as well. But I resisted that. Sud had no control over her body.

Sud: I closed my eyes... uunnnnffff...mmmmmm... imagined...mmmmmm...you...mmmmm...in my bed...

Me: How did that make you feel?

Sud was rubbing vigorously.

Sud: It is...mmmmmm oh god...not same...mmmmm...gentle...uuunnnfff...you...are...mmmm...not

Me: So it didn't work because he was gentle to you?

Sud nodded and pushed all her fingers in. She gasped at her own action. She was really digging herself out.

Sud: Your touch...mmmm...rough...mmmmmm...I am ...mmmmm...so wet...you...mmmmm...watch...

She stepped closer to the camera and I could hear the sounds her pussy was making.

Sud: I tried...mmmmmmm...whole ...night...mmmm, yeahhhh...mmm. and morning. This is so good...with you watching...mmmmm. What should I do now? Tell me...mmmmmm...uuunnfff...I want to do ...for you

She wanted instructions. She was looking to obey orders. My dick jumped on hearing her.

Me: Grab a hairbrush.

Sud: Ok.

She grabbed one from the counter.

Me: Take off that thong.

Sud took it off and showed me the hairbrush. Her eyes were pleading.

Me: Put that thong in your mouth.

Her face contorted as usual with my brazenly outlandish sexual demands. But I could see she wanted to do it for me. It was a massive turn on for her. She slowly put her thong in her mouth.

Me: That handle is what you will use to reach inside your pussy.

Sud quietly observed the object.

Me: Go on.

She slowly used her hairbrush handle to reach in.

Me: That's it. Go back and forth. Thrust it in.

Sud was now moaning loud. It was muffled but not much. Thongs barely have fabric.

Me: Go hard now. Grab your own throat.

Sud gently grabbed her throat. It was like I had a remote control. I could tell anything and my screen showed a woman doing that.

Me: Is that how I grab it?

Sud shook her head and tried to grab harder.

Me: Harder!

With my raised voice, I ordered and just then she came crashing in a thigh shaking orgasm. It continued for about 30 secs. She came in bursts. She grabbed the counter to control herself. Her face was red with effort. She had edged herself whole night. This was her release. Her whole being shuddered. Her legs shook. When she had collected herself, she breathed in and out to compose herself.

She pulled out the hairbrush and there was line of cum connecting it to her pussy.

Sud had a relieved smile. Then she grabbed the phone.

Sud: Thank you. I have to talk to you. Can you talk in the evening? I will come wherever.

Me: Not today.

Sud: Please! I have to. I know you are busy. Please.

Me: All right, I will tell you when and where.

Sud: Thank you. Tell me ASAP.

With that, she disconnected.

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I am a scientist. A part of my training which I carried over from my professional to personal life is to keep notes when things are going good - to maximise their chances in the future - and also when they are going bad - to troubleshoot why they are not good and what is going wrong. I record my thoughts as well, along with how I feel in a journal. I started doing that when I was in teenage and the frequency of recordings went up and down through the years and life situations. They never stopped, just the granularity of information changed time to time. Between that journal and my notes, anyone who read both would have a pretty clear snapshot of my life at a given moment. This entanglement with Sud was a unique and unforeseen event in my life and as expected, I was recording them in my notes and my journal.

I am a perfectionist at work and though easy-going outside of the lab, I am hardcore at my bench. Mistakes by others which remotely threaten my quality or timeline makes me fly off the handle. But I was also really good at my work, so people who did work with me saw the benefit immediately. As a result, there were two kinds of people in my lab, one who absolutely loved to work with me because my intensity drove them to be better as well and two, people who would have nothing to do with me and kept as far as they could. Sud's entrance into my life brought about a calm in my demeanour which was picked up by both these groups of people. Both groups were surprised as to how calm I was for the last month. It was like my normally burning head had been dunked into the case of ice water. Various comments regarding this was made by various people from both groups and this featured in my journal. I figured that the sex with Sud was having this effect. I felt I was looking forward to the release as well. Let the pressure build, work hard on your life and then let Sud suck it out of me.

After watching Sud pleasure herself for me and observing how it turned her on, I knew this moment was a breakthrough for her. And for this messy entanglement we now shared. I wanted to note my observations. I opened the dropbox file where I kept these observations. Before noting down for today, I started browsing my month long notes. It became clear what was working and what was not. I enjoyed aggressive intense sex with Sud. It had various other ripple effects through my normal life. None of which was bad. Additionally, it was now clear, after today, she did like it too. How much - not entirely clear. So, I made a note never to have any other kind of sex with her. It will always be dirty. I will try stuff with her which I will struggle to find the confidence for. For as long as I had the steam for, I would avoid vanilla. I prided myself on her submission; it was now clear that she wanted that too. Hence, that dynamic should continue.

What wasn't working - orgasm denial and communication. Denying her sex sends her down a rabbithole of lost self-esteem. I barely escaped that minefield once, and I had no intention of dealing with that baggage. I should not do that to her again. Communication had died down significantly after the afternoon at her place. It was now only about when to call and where to meet. It didn't feel like Sud. That needed to be revived. I have to construct a dichotomy of existence for both of us. We should be normal everywhere else, but deviants alone. How to fix both of these - I noted that I have to figure it out yet.

The phone vibrated.

Text from Sud: Do you have snapchat?

I didn't respond and continued on my notes.

I set a few lines that I would not cross because that is who I am and I would carry massive guilt if I changed that. I will not do anything in public that causes any disturbance to her family life. I will be extra careful to never endanger the delicate balance she was engaged in now, fucking me while having a perfectly normal life otherwise. This meant I would reserve my sexual brazenness for privacy and never disrespect her persona otherwise. The kid could never know that her mom is having an affair, he had to remain shielded from it all. He had to always know that Sud is the best mom he could have.

Text from Sud: You there?

I ignored and continued my notes. I know that both of us are in a massive fucked up level of risk already. This can end any day with the slightest of suspicion. So I would continue what is working so well for me and seems like is working well for her as well till the day we have to stop. I would be diligent in keeping things under wraps which may require me to curb some of my newly acquired impulses. I swore to make an effort.

The phone was ringing. It was Sud.

I disconnected the call and texted: No. I am busy, talk to you later.

She sent a sad emoticon back.

I was close to finishing up my new groundwork and rules of engagement. In summary: be extra careful, never do anything to endanger her family life, never let my private demeanour leach off into public behaviour.

Sud texted again: Can you install Snapchat?

Few minutes later: Are you out for lunch?

Another few minutes later: Respond when you see this.

I had finished up my work in the meantime. I thought I would take the time to travel to my lab to respond to her.

I replied: No. I don't want to get snapchat. Why?

Sud: Messages delete after sometime. So I was thinking...

Me: Just delete whatsapp history time to time.

Sud: Ok, I will do that. Are you at work?

Me: Yes

Sud: You can delete stuff from whatsapp? Are you sure?

Me: Yes. Google how to do it.

She was gone for a while. I wrapped up my work, got my lunch, ate it while watching YouTube. I gathered my stuff for work and headed out. I got into my car and started driving. I was thinking of work mostly. I was swamped with deliverables over the next two months. I was thinking how to get it all done. I was stopped at a traffic light when my phone started vibrating incessantly from multiple messages. It went on and on for a few minutes. I resisted the urge to touch it. I continued my drive and reached my lab. After parking and getting out of my car, I unlocked my phone.

Sud had sent 25 pics and 1 video.

It was taking whatsapp time to load all of that and hence it was blurry. But I could make out what they were.

While they were still loading up, I scrolled to the bottom.

Sud: I can't fucking stop watching the video.

Next message: Did you get what I sent?

Next message: Watch this please

Next message: Did you watch?

Next message: Tell me when you watch please. Ok?

I found a restroom and walked into a cubicle. The pictures had loaded.

Sud had sent nudes. Well, to be precise, they weren't just nudes. She had sent pictures of her masturbating. She had no skill whatsoever in those, and it was cute in a way. You could tell that the woman had no experience, or at least, recent experience. But she wanted to be watched. The first set was her on her bed. She had drawn the phone in too close. It was dark and blurry as a result. You could go through the entire sequence and reconstruct what she must have been thinking. She tried the closeups and they didn't turn out good. Then she went to the full length ones in the bedroom mirror. Those showed her reaching into her pussy with a hand and using the other hand to click the photo. She found the angle awkward and she looked even shorter. Then she went to the washroom to use the fancy lights. She liked how those made her look. But she was struggling to take a photo while she grabbed her tits or her neck. She was probably also struggling with looking at her face when she wanted to click. Which expression did she want to show me? Then she decided to record video.

She placed her phone on the floor. She pressed record and stepped back from the phone. Positioning herself at a distance where she was close enough to the phone but her whole body was in the frame. Truth be told, she looked ravishing. Her body looked deliciously curvy in the lights of the washroom. Her MILF boobs were round and full. Her birthing (or birthed) hips lent that I-need-to-fuck-this quality to her body. I was instantly hard. She sat on her ass and opened up her legs and slowly touched her pussy. The moment her fingers grazed, her lips contorted into a horizontal "S". She bit her lips. She was moaning softly while she dug more and more. Her moans were not the wild shriek kind I was used to, these were softer and more careful. Her fingers started splitting her pussy lips and probing deeper. Her eyes were now closed. She continued the fingering for a few more minutes. I could see she was in her space. She was rocking her body to meet her own finger strokes.

Then, abruptly, she stopped. As if she remembered something. She got up and left the frame. I could hear her walk around. I turned the volume on my headphones up. Things were being shuffled, clothes were being rummaged through. She was out of the frame for a few minutes. And then she came back.

She had brought a panty and the same hairbrush from the morning.

Now she didn't sit on her ass. She kneeled. She grabbed the hairbrush and manoeuvred it into a position where it was supported by the floor on one end and plunged through the handle into her pussy. She winced as she tried to adjust her stroke length without holding the brush and letting her body fall too deep onto it. She decided that she needed to hold the brush in position with one hand. It was extremely arousing to watch her figure out how she wanted to fuck herself while doing things which resembled my demands. After figuring out the stroke length which worked, she now picked up the panty and showed the camera how she stuffed her mouth with it. She took time to do it and used her fingers to really stuff it as far as she could take. She watched herself with eyes wide open as she stuffed her face. Her one hand now free, she grabbed her throat with it. Sud, was now bouncing up and down on a hairbrush, her panty in her mouth, muffled moans to boot, trying to grab her own throat. Her face had changed from I-love-touching-my-pussy to I-fucking-need-to-cum. The stark difference now was that her eyes were wide open. She looked at the camera as she set about the self-fucking. Her motions were no longer slow and gentle. It was fast and furious. She wanted her release. She was chasing after it.

She was straining her voice against her own panty as she went after that orgasm. Her face went red and her neck muscles showed the effort. The muffled moans filled up the washroom, reverberating against the walls. It sounded incredible with headphones. And then she caught up with it. She bent forward, on her elbows as she came crashing. She looked at the camera and then she put her head down for sometime to let the wave subside. When she looked up again, you could see the post-orgasm embarrassment set in. She looked at herself in the camera and it is like the bulb of consciousness came on. She pulled out the panty, not looking at the camera. Then she pulled out the sloppy handbrush and wiped it with toilet paper. Then she reached out and stopped the recording.

My dick was rock hard. I was oozing with desire. Imagine having access to a personal pornstar. I had a massive urge to cum. But I wanted to control my mind to get on track with this new paradigm.

I replied to Sud: You are bad at taking nudes. Remind me to show you how I want it.

Sud: That bad? :(

Me: It's fine for the first try. You need practice. And guidance.

Sud: (Blushing smiley) Video?

Me: It was better

Sud: :)

Sud: I can't stop watching your video. What have you done to me?

Me: Then don't stop.

Sud: I have watched it through the night and again after everyone left the house.

Me: Good

Sud: I feel so high.

Sud: When are you meeting in the evening?

Me: I will tell you soon.

Sud: Please tell me soon, I have to figure out excuses and logistics.

Me: Will do. TTYL.

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I struggled to get through the rest of the workday. It was only half a day, but I found myself looking at my phone all too often. Sud was invading parts of my brain which she wasn't supposed to be in. I had to focus. I decided I would meet her in the evening, so I had to get stuff done before that. I texted Sud that she can come to a cafe near my campus. I will meet her there at 8. I left my phone in my bag and started my experiments.

I fought through my desires to check her pictures and videos again and again. I used the old rubber band trick to get through it. 4 long hours of work later, I was done.

My hormones were looking forward to the meeting. My cock was responding as well. Am I going to go 2 out of 2 days with Sud?

I reached the cafe and saw that Sud had already reached. She was in her summer dress. It was light coloured with floral prints. She had ordered her drink and was halfway through. She must have reached quite early. She saw me approach and stood up. She hugged me tightly. It was a tad bit longer than usual. I broke the embrace and sat down.

Me: So early?

Sud: Yeah, I figured I would wait here.

Me: Well, so, tell me, what's so urgent?

She started playing with her drink. She was thinking how to start, perhaps. She looked away for some time. She was collecting her thoughts.