Sugaring The Divorce

Author's note:

This story began as a writing challenge I had long wanted to tackle. The result couldn't stand alone, but I was able to incorporate it into a more conventional story. If you're curious, see my notes at the end.

Thank you for reading!

--------------------

At least he still brewed enough coffee for two.

Andrea filled her mug, noting with relief that Ian had already poured his share and relocated to the deck. That was his habit lately - getting up before her, making coffee, then claiming the sun-dappled deck as his own. That was the way of it, this carefully negotiated sharing of space until Andrea could move out. She got the master bedroom for now, but in a few weeks when her apartment was ready, she'd have to give it up. That had been a bitter pill to swallow.

She showered, brushed out her hair, and took a moment to check her look in the mirror, turning from front to side. Since she and Ian had agreed to separate and divorce, Andrea had managed to lose a few pounds and even put on some muscle tone at the gym. The few gray hairs were in the minority, and easily managed. She was undeniably a forty-something, but a

young

forty-something without the same degree of visible aging her friends showed. And her updated wardrobe helped. She'd have no trouble finding another man.

"Bye Ian," she mouthed, too softly for her estranged husband to hear. Some days it was "bye loser," or "bye asshole," but Andrea's mood today was too good to taint with pettiness. She breezed out the door, flicked the button of her car key, and soon left the scene behind her.

Andrea's phone rang, its display indicating the call was from her lawyer. "Martin," she said, "how are you?"

Martin Knull's voice echoed in the car's cabin. "I'm good Andrea, you?"

"Yes, I'm good. Two more weeks and I'll be out of the house."

"Yes," Martin said slowly, "and how do you feel about that? I know it wasn't easy for you to accept moving out."

"It wasn't," she admitted. The fact that Ian had purchased their home prior to getting married meant she couldn't claim it during the settlement. Martin had made sure that she would receive her portion of the home's increase in equity, but that was all. "I guess it still stings a little, to be honest. But... I don't know. It's fine."

"That's good. I have something for you. That's why I'm calling."

"Oh, right. What is it?"

Even over the distorted amplification of the car's speakers, Andrea could sense the hesitation in Martin's voice. "It's from the private investigator."

Andrea's gut tightened. Early on she had asked Martin to hire a private investigator to look for any sign that Ian had been cheating. The man had found nothing, but said he'd use the rest of his retainer to look again from time to time. To find something after this many months was unexpected.

"What did he find?"

"Andrea, can you drop by the office? This isn't something I should share over the phone."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

***

The austere beauty of Martin's law offices never failed to impress Andrea. She supposed that was the purpose, to awe visitors with such overt trappings of success that clients would feel comfortable trusting the partners with their most critical legal concerns. Still, part of her thought,

How about I pay you less and you more plainly furnish your lobby?

Martin spotted her through the glass partition of his office and stepped out to greet her. But instead of escorting her back in, he guided Andrea to a small conference room. He gestured for her to take a seat, then produced a folder which he placed before her.

"This was waiting for me this morning," he began. "As I said over the phone, it's from the private investigator we contracted with early on. Nine months ago."

"What is it?"

"Yes, I'll get to that. You paid his retainer, and his findings are yours."

"Buuuut?"

Martin sighed. "Andrea, what he found... I don't think it will change the settlement or the direction of your divorce. And I don't think it will make you any happier."

Andrea stared at the folder, which bore only her name, a file number, and a date a week prior. "You don't want me to read it?"

"As your attorney, I can't advise you against reading it. It's yours and is relevant to your divorce. But as someone who considers you a friend, I'm not sure. Like I said, I don't think it will make you happy."

"Nothing about this makes me happy," Andrea muttered. She stared at the folder. "Okay Martin, thanks, but I want to read this."

"Of course," Martin said, standing. He was a dignified older man who always put Andrea at ease. "I'll leave you here to read it in private. Take your time." On his way out, he nudged a box of tissues closer to her.

That wasn't promising,

Andrea thought. She opened the folder, pulled out a sheath of papers, and began to read.

***

Date: 12 July 2023

1:07 pm

Agent: Jenkins, S

Agent's note: The following is a transcript of an audio recording made on the date and time noted, at the Capital Hilton. The subject of my investigation, Ian Lantz, was observed entering the hotel unaccompanied. However, the recording obtained demonstrates that he was later joined by a woman. The transcription follows.

[A soft knock on a door. The squeak of a chair. Door opening.]

[A man and a woman speaking at the same time.] "Heyyy!"

[Door closing and locking.]

[Ian] "I'm so glad you could make it!"

[Woman's voice - later identified as Rose] "Oh, me too. I need a break so bad!"

Ian: "Classes?"

Rose: "Yes! Summer session is ridiculous. They try to cram a full semester into what, eight weeks? And group projects."

Ian: "I faintly remember those, back from the Cretaceous period."

Rose: [Laughs] "You're not *that* old. Hey, this room is nice!"

Ian: "Right? I love this hotel. Check the view."

Rose: "Omigod, that is so cool. The Washington Monument!"

Ian: "Told you."

[Pause. Kissing sounds.]

Rose: "Mmm. This is so romantic."

Ian: [Sighs] "It should be, right? A little getaway. Drinking and fucking on a Wednesday afternoon. Bacchus would be proud."

Rose: [Giggling] "Hey, you remembered that I studied Greek mythology last semester? Bacchus would want us to have wine, for sure."

Ian: "Have I ever let you down?"

[Muffled sound (mini fridge?). Clink of glass.]

Ian: "You'll like this."

[Squeaking corkscrew sound. Clink of glass. Liquid pouring.]

Ian: "My lady."

Rose: [Giggling] "So gallant!"

Ian: "Oh, this is nice."

Rose: "Yeah." [pause] "It's not sweet."

Ian: "But not too dry either, right? What do you notice when you sniff? In the bouquet?"

Rose: [Giggling] "I don't know. You know I'm not good at that."

Ian: "Try."

[Pause]

Rose: "Like... grass? Plants?"

Ian: "Yes! Herbal, right?"

Rose: [Laughs] "Yeah. Herbal sounds better than 'plants'."

Ian: "As long as you like it."

Rose: "As long as I like it!"

[Glass clinking.]

Rose: "So... how long do we have?"

Ian: "Never long enough."

Rose: "Never! But, should I show you what I brought now, or... later?"

Ian: "Now! What if a meteor hits Earth or something and I die before seeing you in it?"

Rose: [Laughing.] "A meteor hits Earth and that's what you're worried about?"

Ian: "At least I would die with a smile on my face."

Rose: "Okay, but close your eyes when I come out."

Ian: "Promise!"

[Bed creaks. Click of a door (bathroom?). Bed creaks again. Soft music starts (classic rock ballads). Shoes falling to the floor.]

[Pause]

Rose: [Muffled] "Ready? Close your eyes."

Ian: "I'mmm ready!!"

[Door clicks]

Rose: "Okay, look!"

Ian: "Holy shit!"

Rose: [Giggles] "You really like it?"

Ian: "Damn, girl, you always look good but in

that

, you look incredible!"

Rose: "You're always so sweet! Oh, and the view from behind."

Ian: [Whistles] "Your ass is fucking perfect! Victoria's Secret?"

Rose: "No. Cosabella. You gave me that gift card, remember?"

Ian: "I guess I knew what I was doing. Here's to my generosity and your gorgeous little body!"

[Bed creaks. Glasses clink.]

Rose: (Barely audible.) "You always say that."

Ian: "What?"

Rose: (Softly.) "How pretty I am... and about my body."

Ian: "Should I not say those things?"

Rose: (Softly.) "No of course it's... you're always so supportive, so kind."

Ian: "Hey! Hey, look, I don't know what kind of weirdo boyfriends you've had that didn't tell you every time they saw you, but you're gorgeous. Me telling you that is just stating the obvious."

Rose: "Okay, thank you."

Ian: "I don't see you often enough, and when we do get together it always seems too brief. I guess I need to get all of my sweet talking into a short period. I missed you!"

Rose: "I missed you, too!" [Glasses clink. Wet kissing sound. Pause.] "How many dates have we had?"

Ian: "Let's see. We met the first time in January when you came back to Georgetown for the spring semester. Two dates most months since then. At least ten?"

Rose: "That sounds right. Anyway, it's always so good to see you."

Ian: "Yeah." [Kissing sound.] "I love our dates. Not that my work is super crazy but it's still nice to take a break from it."

Rose: "Hey! How come I'm almost naked and you're still dressed?"

Ian: "I took my shoes off!"

[Pause]

Ian: [Laughs] "Okay! Don't look at me like that! Getting naked is now my top priority."

[Bed creaks. Sound of fabric rustling. Rattle of a belt buckle. Snap of elastic.]

Rose: "Stay there." [Bed creaks.]

Ian: "Oh fuck!"

Rose: "Is that nice?" [Wet sound.]

Ian: "Yeah it is."

Rose: "It's easier before you're totally hard."

Ian: "Yeah, take it all in your mouth."

[Wet sounds ongoing. Woman's gasp.]

Rose: "There!" [Audible breathing.]

Ian: "Do it again."

[Wet sounds. Gagging.]

Rose: "Fuck!" [Audible breathing.] "You're too hard now."

Ian: "Take as much as you can."

[Wet sounds continue for at least one minute.]

[Audible breathing.]

Rose: "Yeah, hooo. Sorry, I need a break."

Ian: "So good though. Can you do my balls some?" [Audible breathing.]

Rose: "I know you like that." [Bed creaks.]

Ian: "Oh, fuuuck!"

Rose: "Feels good?"

Ian: "It's incredible. Your tongue on my balls."

[Wet sounds.]

Rose: "Do I have a pretty tongue?"

Ian: "Yeah."

Rose: "Your sugar baby's pretty little tongue?"

Ian: "Rose, oh fuck. Do not stop doing that. That's so sexy."

Rose: "You've never cum this way." [Wet sounds.]

Ian: "No." [Audible breathing.]

Rose: "Never cum on my face."

Ian: "No."

Rose: "Do you want to? Want to shoot it on my face? My mouth?"

Ian: "Fuck!"

Rose: "Well?" [Wet, sucking sound.]

Ian: "Ahhh, fu... I want..."

Rose: [Laughs.] "I know what you want."

[Bed creaks. Sheets rustle.]

Ian: "Yeah. Wait... leave your top on."

Rose: "Oooh, that's naughty! you brought a condom, right?"

Ian: "I brought ten."

Rose: [Laughter.] "You wish!"

Ian: "A man can dream." [Sound of tearing paper.]

Rose: [Softly.] "Wrap that big thing."

Ian: "You got me so hard."

Rose: "Just... go slow."

Ian: "Don't I always?" [Bed creaks.]

Rose: "Sometimes you get excited."

Ian: "Can you blame me?"

Rose: "I appreciate that, but... oooh!"

Ian: "Yeah, there. You're so wet."

Rose: [Sharply drawn breath.] "Uh-huh."

[Bed creaks.]

Ian: "Rose, you feel so good."

Rose: "You're so hard."

Ian: "Ready for you."

[Bed creaks rhythmically.]

Rose: "Ow!"

Ian: "You okay? Want me to stop?"

Rose: "No, no, just... it's always like this at first, remember?"

Ian: "I just don't want to-"

Rose: "No, keep going. Slow like that."

[Bed creaks. Ongoing. Audible breath. Classic rock plays softly.]

Ian: "So nice right now."

Rose: "Just takes a bit... yeah."

Ian: "Like the first thirty seconds?"

Rose: [Soft chuckle.] "With you? More like the first three minutes."

Ian: "You're good now, though, right?"

Rose: "Yes."

[Bed creaks.]

[Bed creaks faster. Continuing for at least three minutes. Rough breath.]

Rose: "Hey, can we switch it up?" [Audible breath.]

Ian: "Huh? Yeah, sure, sure. Cowgirl, right?"

Rose: [Chuckles.] "You know me."

[Bed creaks. Soft thump of a body hitting the mattress.]

Rose: "Yeah." [Bed creaks.] "Like... that."

Ian: "So hot like this. So sexy."

Rose: [Giggling.] "I thought you wanted me to keep wearing the top?"

Ian: "Yeah, but now in this position..."

Rose: "Sure." [Muffled sound.]

Ian: "Those are so nice."

Rose: "Mmm, I love your hands on me."

[Bed creaks (ongoing).]

Rose: "You can squeeze them harder." [Pause.] "Yeah, like that."

[Bed creaks.]

[Bed creaks faster.]

Agent's note: Bed creaking and audible breathing are the only sounds for at least five minutes. No dialog.

Ian: "Oh, fuck!"

Rose: "Are you?"

Ian: "Goddamn, that's so good. Your pussy."

Rose: "Quick! Finish me in doggy."

[Bed rattles.]

Rose: "Yes! Hard!"

Ian: "Fuck yeah!"

[Bodies slapping together.]

Rose: "Yes!"

[Bodies slapping together.]

Rose: "Harder." [Pause.] "Say the things."

[Smack of a hand on skin.]

Ian: "You like that?"

Rose: [Moaning.] "Yes!"

Ian: "You like when your sugar daddy fucks you?"

Rose: "Oh! Yes."

[Smack of a hand on skin.]

Ian: "You like giving him your pussy?"

Rose: "Yes. I like it when he gets my little pussy."

[Bed creaks faster. Slap of bodies against each other.]

Ian: "Fuck! Taking that little, tight, pussy."

Rose: "Pleasssse daddy, take it. Take what you want."

[Hard smack of a hand on skin.]

Rose: "Fuuuuuck!"

Ian: "Your little body is mine."

Rose: "Yes."

Ian: "Your mouth is mine."

[Bed creaking frantically.]

Rose: "My mouth, yes."

Ian: "Your pussy. Your poor little pussy."

Rose: "Gawwwwd!"

[Bed creaking wildly.]

Ian: "Oh, Rose! I'm... I'm going to..."

Rose: "Cum! Cum in me!"

Ian: (Loudly.) "I'm... ah... I'm... Fuck! I'm... fuuuuck."

[Both occupants gasping.]

Rose: "Oooooh, fuuuuck!"

[Bed scrapes against the floor. Both parties draw in heavy breaths.]

[Bed creaks.]

[Bed creaks more slowly. Both parties catching their breath.]

Rose: "Oh my god."

Ian: "Yeah. Here." [Sound of bodies shifting, the rustle of linens.] "I want to hold you."

Rose: "Wrap me in your arms."

Transcriber's note: At this point, the room is silent for forty-five minutes.

[Rustle of linens.]

Rose: "Ohhh, that was so nice."

Ian: "I loved holding you like that. You asleep in my arms."

[Kissing sounds.]

Rose: [Softly.] "I should go."

Ian: [Satisfied sigh.] "I know." [Kissing sound.]

[Rustle of linens. Footsteps. Click of door (bathroom).]

[Long pause. Door clicks open.]

Rose: "Ohhh, I hate leaving you."

Ian: "It's cool." [Bed creaks.]

Rose: [Laughter.] "You're still naked."

Ian: "I'll probably fall back asleep, to be honest."

Rose: "Mmm, you should." [Kissing sounds.]

Ian: "I loved seeing you today. It's always the highlight of my week."

Rose: "Same!"

[Kissing sounds. Door opening.]

Rose: "Bye! MUAH!"

Ian: "You're the best. MUAH!"

[Door closing and locking.]

***

Andrea dropped the final sheet of the printout, eyes staring blankly ahead. Her stomach turned in knots, threatening to become nauseous. Before the sensation could overwhelm her, she took several deep breaths, releasing them slowly, trying to relax. Gradually she mastered herself.

Ian hadn't been having an affair. Secretly she had hoped he was, had hoped he was already seeing someone before they split. It would have eased her guilt over their failings as a couple if the increased distance between them was on him.

But... a sugar baby? A Georgetown student? Surely the young woman couldn't be over twenty-two! The transcription, even unembellished as it was, practically dripped with the connection between the two. How was that possible with a woman who might, very literally, be half Ian's age? She would confront him about it. How could she not, especially if doing so might reopen the possibility of taking the house in the settlement?

Andrea rose, but as she did, noticed something. She was wet. Just reading the transcript had aroused her. Why? Why would the thought of her soon-to-be-ex husband fucking a younger woman turn her on? Still struggling to understand, she went to find Martin.

"You're going to tell him, aren't you?" Martin asked.

"You can read me that well? Yes. I don't see how I can drop this."

"Andrea," Martin said kindly, "I want you to consider this, consider what you possibly hope to gain. I realize it's upsetting, but you have separate lives now. Didn't you tell me you were starting to see someone?"

"But this isn't..." Andrea began before stopping. There were a dozen different reasons why Ian's behavior couldn't be compared to hers. "Do you think we might be able to revisit the property settlement agreement?"

"You mean the house, right?"

"Yes."

"I've thought about it," Martin conceded, "but I don't think it's likely. You already have a signed property settlement agreement which assures that he retains the property. And there's no evidence that he did anything illegal, so there's no opportunity there."

"No?" Andrea stared at her attorney in disbelief. "He's paying her for sex!"

"There's no evidence of that on the recording. He probably is paying her, but the recording makes it clear they have an authentic relationship. Any monetary transaction could easily be explained as a gift."

Andrea stewed on the idea for a minute. "But if he agrees to, anyway?"

"Sure," Martin said with a shrug. "But why would he? Again, Andrea, I advise against confronting Ian. From what I've seen and what you've said, he isn't easily rattled, and if he speaks with his attorney, he'll be told there's nothing to worry about."

"Okay, I hear you. I promise I'll sit on this for a while. I'm not going to storm into his office or anything."

Martin chuckled. "Please don't."

***

What

did

she hope to gain from confronting Ian? Part of it, Andrea knew, was simply to shame the man for the unconventional relationship. He had been so calm and unflappable during the entire separation process. Just once she wanted to see him squirm. And despite Martin's advice to the contrary, she couldn't help but picture herself keeping the house. There had to be

some

advantage for her!

Andrea did manage to keep her promise not to immediately confront Ian. After leaving Martin's office she drove to her own, spent a distracted day at work, and even had the self-discipline to run a few errands on her way home. Ian typically worked late so there was no point in rushing. But he surprised her. When Andrea got home Ian was already in the kitchen.

"Hey," Ian said flatly, not bothering to look up from where he was sautéing onions and garlic. The smell was heavenly.

"Hey." Andrea hesitated, but couldn't picture the conversation unfolding while Ian cooked. Instead, she went to her room, changed, and washed up. When she estimated that enough time had passed, she returned to find him doing the dishes. It took Ian a full minute to realize that Andrea was waiting to get his attention.

"What?" Ian said, glancing at her before turning back to the sink.

"I saw my lawyer today."

"Yeah?"

"He had some new information for me."

"Okay," Ian said, busily scrubbing a pan.

"Turns out you have a special friend."

That worked. Ian lowered the pan into the sink, rinsed his hands, and began to dry them. He turned to her. "A special friend?"

"Yes." Andrea felt flushed. "I believe her name is Rose."

Ian stared at her, his expression cool. For longer than was comfortable he held Andrea's gaze, but at last, he spoke. "You put a private investigator on me?"

"It's a very

sweet

relationship, isn't it?"