It was Christmas Eve, and the fourth Sunday of Advent. At St Michael's church, the morning service was being led by Reverend Fletcher...who unknown to him, was about to give the most stimulating sermon of his life...
"What's this old padré doing here again?" Gordon muttered, as he noticed Fletcher head up to the pulpit.
"Jenna told me that she'd personally invited him back in order to do the sermon today. Because Simon's sermon's are so boring," Mia whispered.
"Ah! That makes perfect sense!" the organist replied. "Good old Jenna, always thinking of ways to make this church more enjoyable, eh?"
"Yup, that's my cousin. Full of Christian mercy!"
They both giggled, unaware of the real reason Reverend Fletcher was here. And the service, for him was about to get a lot more interesting.
"Brothers and sisters, it gives me great..." the reverend paused as he felt something - or someone fumble under his purple vestments.
"...pleasure, to be addressing you all today."
And then the sound of the zip on his trousers being pulled down.
He twitched nervously, trying to retain his composure.
As the congregation sat in the pews, lost in prayer and contemplation, a single bead of perspiration trickled down the Rev. Fletcher's brow. It wasn't from the Advent candles burning nearby, but from the passion that burned within him. He now knew that today's sermon would be unlike any other he had ever delivered, and it wasn't just because of its unique message of love and acceptance. The old vicar didn't dare move from the pulpit, as all eyes were on him. He'd just have to tough it out...
In the cramped space inside the pulpit, Jenna was impressed as she pulled down the old man's white boxer shorts, revealing the thick, meaty length of him, already half-hard with anticipation. Quite a tasty-looking cock, she had to admit. She wrapped her lips around the tip, feeling the warmth and weight of him fill her mouth. Reverend Fletcher's voice grew hoarse as he continued to read, his hips starting to move involuntarily, pushing himself deeper into her mouth.
The Reverend Fletcher was old, really old, but his cock was something to behold. It was as if time had stopped at his groin, leaving him with a magnificent, thick shaft that seemed to defy the laws of nature. Jenna couldn't help but continue to be amazed as she sucked him harder. As bad as this chap had been, his impressive dick deserved her full attention.
Over at the organ, Gordon was impressed by this far more interesting sermon.
"Well he might resemble something from the Pickwick Papers, but he writes a much better paragraph than our Reverend Morris! I guess it's because he's older and more experienced?"
"Yeah, I liked that bit where he said there should be only good vibes at Christmas and Jesus being born in a stable because the NHS waiting lists were too long. That was funny!" Mia whispered back.
"The old boy looks to have high blood pressure," Gordon mused, noticing the sweat running down the vicar's forehead. "Reminds me of something...hell, it's bloody freezing in this church, but he looks like he's been sat in a sauna."
Reverend Fletcher's voice trembled slightly as he continued to enthral the congregation with a Christmas-themed sermon like no other. They assumed his wavering composure was normal for him.
"This guy is on fire," Mia said, also captivated. "He knows how to entertain an audience!"
"Looks to me like he's rather entertained himself! Look how he's gripping the pulpit there - his fingernails have turned white. And the way he's thrusting slightly...looks like he's humping the thing!"
"Gordy, you have a naughty mind!"
"Hmm, I wonder where I get it from?" He stared at the old vicar again. "It might be just me, but he doesn't look well..."
In front of the pulpit, Reverend Morris was listening intently to his mentor's words. I truly learned from the best, he thought. Thanks to Horatius, I am able to write wonderful sermons! It was so nice of Jenna to invite him to conduct our morning service. He glanced at the seated congregation, and saw no sign of his wife anywhere.
That's odd. I swore I saw her sitting at the front before. She's missing this amazing sermon. Maybe she had to go to the ladies...
As Reverend Fletcher's climax approached, his heart raced with an unfamiliar urgency. The words on the page of his sermon began to blur, and he felt a warmth spreading through his body. He looked down, only to see Jenna the vicar's wife, her lips wrapped around his cock, her eyes locked on his. It was then that he realised his heart condition had worsened, and the pleasure of the moment was quickly replaced by fear.
With a loud gasp, he slumped forward onto the pulpit, his weight pulling Jenna away from him. She looked up at him, concern etched on her face, as he struggled to catch his breath. And then, with a final heave, he staggered towards the pulpit steps, then collapsed on the floor, motionless.
Someone screamed.
"Oh my God! Call 999!"
Norman the churchwarden quickly pulled out his phone and called an ambulance. Everything seemed to unfold in slow motion for a few moments.
It was then that Gordon sprang into action, leaping over the shelf at the side of the organ like a gazelle. His black, open-fronted gown billowed behind him like a superhero's cape.
"I'm a trained first-aider," he yelled. "He's gone into cardiac arrest!"
As Gordon began performing CPR on Reverend Fletcher, Mia watched in stunned amazement. Some small children at the front of the church started crying, and were led away by anxious parents.
"Please God, don't let him die," Reverend Morris begged, praying quietly, as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.
The entire church was in uproar, and the churchwarden struggled to calm the panicking congregation.
"Ladies and gents please, I must ask you to sit quietly or if you wish to leave, please can you do so in an orderly manner. In the chaos, Jenna managed to creep out of the hollow in the pulpit, unseen, and hurry off.
"Oh this is a nightmare," Reverend Morris sobbed, wiping away tears, as the organist continued giving chest compressions. "On Christmas Eve as well, and the defibrillator we had installed got stolen just a few days ago!"
Seconds later, Jenna suddenly appeared at his side. "Oh Simon," she panted.
"He's breathing!"
A chorus of cheers erupted.
The sound of a siren outside the church was heard. Norman directed the paramedics into the church.
"Dear God, have our prayers been answered?" Reverend Morris asked his wife.
